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Jokes of the day for Saturday, 24 November 2018

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Saturday, 24 November 2018

After three years of marriage,

After three years of marriage, Kim was still questioning her husband about his lurid past.
"C'mon, tell me," she asked for the thousandth time, "how many women have you slept with?"
"Baby," he protested, "if I told you, you'd throw a fit".
Kim promised she wouldn't get angry, and convinced her hubby to tell her.
"Okay," he said, "One, two, three, four, five, six, seven - then there's you - nine, ten, 11, 12, 13.."
#joke
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 4.14/10

Rating: 4.1/10 (7)

Who's Art in Heaven?

"It's no use. Art doesn't listen to me," said a little boy who was praying for a new bike."Art who?" asked the boy's mother."Art in heaven," came the reply.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
  • Currently 6.44/10

Rating: 6.4/10 (9)

SLIDESHOW #35 - Funny Photo Slideshow

“As I scent her out t

“As I scent her out to a choir cheep denim genes I waived good buy.”

#joke #short
  • Currently 6.00/10

Rating: 6.0/10 (8)

 Knock Knock Collection 0049


Knock Knock
Who's there?
Diploma!
Diploma who?
Diploma to fix the leak!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Disaster!
Disaster who?
Disaster be my lucky day!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Disguise!
Disguise who?
Disguise the limit!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Dishes!
Dishes who?
Dishes a very bad joke!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Disk!
Disk who?
Disk is recorded message, please leave your message after the beep!

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 21 October 2017
  • Currently 7.13/10

Rating: 7.1/10 (8)

Boomerang

Q: What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?

A: A stick...

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 30 November 2015
  • Currently 8.00/10

Rating: 8.0/10 (7)

Two girlfriends were speeding ...

Two girlfriends were speeding down the highway at well over 90 mph.
"Hey," asked the brunette at the wheel, "see any cops following us?"
The blonde turned around for a long look. "As a matter of fact, I do."
"Fuck!" cursed the brunette. "Are his flashers on?
The blonde turned around again. "Yup...nope...yup...nope....yup....."
#joke #blonde
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 24 November 2009
  • Currently 5.25/10

Rating: 5.3/10 (63)

Chuck Norris once broke the la...

Chuck Norris once broke the land speed record on a bicycle that was missing its chain and the back tire.
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 24 November 2011
  • Currently 3.37/10

Rating: 3.4/10 (49)

Satan vists the church

One bright, beautiful Sunday morning, everyone in tiny Jonestown wakes up early and goes to their local church. Before the service starts, the townspeople sit in their pews and talk about their lives and their families.

Suddenly, at the altar, Satan appears!! Everyone starts screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in their determined efforts to get away from Evil Incarnate. Soon, everyone is evacuated from the church except for one man, who sit calmly in his pew, seemingly oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy is in his presence. This confuses Satan a bit. Satan walks up to the man and says, "Hey, don't you know who I am?" The man says, "Yep, sure do."

Satan says, "Well, aren't you afraid of me?" The man says, "Nope, sure ain't."

Satan, perturbed, says, "And why aren't you afraid of me?" The man says, "Well, I've been married to your sister for 25 years."

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 24 November 2011
  • Currently 6.18/10

Rating: 6.2/10 (33)

Boy Scout on the plane

A doctor, a lawyer, a little boy scout and a pastor were out for a Sunday afternoon flight on a small private plane.

Suddenly, the plane developed engine trouble. In spite of the best efforts of the pilot, the plane started to go down.

Finally, the pilot grabbed a parachute, yelled to the passengers that they had better jump, and bailed out.

Unfortunately there were only three parachutes remaining.

The doctor grabbed one and said "I'm a doctor, I save lives, so I must live," and jumped out.

The lawyer then said "I'm the smartest man in the world, I deserve to live!" He grabbed a parachute and jumped, also.

The pastor looked at the little boy scout and said, "My son, I've lived a long and full life. You are young and have your whole life ahead of you. Take the last parachute and live in peace."

The little boy scout handed the parachute back to the pastor and said "Not to worry, Preacher. 'The smartest man in the world' just jumped out with my back pack."

#joke #doctor #lawyer
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 24 November 2013
  • Currently 7.67/10

Rating: 7.7/10 (30)

Too Much Analysis


Two psychiatrists were walking down a hall.
One turned to the other and said, "Hello."
The other one thought, "I wonder what he meant by that."

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 24 November 2011
  • Currently 7.00/10

Rating: 7.0/10 (25)

Working On The Fourth Husband

A woman announces to her friend that she is getting married for the fourth time.
"How wonderful! But I hope you don't mind me asking what happened to your first husband?"

"He ate poisonous mushrooms and died."

"Oh, how tragic! What about your second husband?"

"He ate poisonous mushrooms too and died."

"Oh, how terrible! I'm almost afraid to ask you about your third husband."

"He died of a broken neck."

"A broken neck?"

"He wouldn't eat the mushrooms."

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 06 September 2008
  • Currently 7.25/10

Rating: 7.3/10 (8)

What Time Is It?

A man is bragging about his new hearing aid. "It's the best I've ever had," he says. "It cost $3,000."
His friend asks, "What kind is it?"
He says, "Half past four!"

#joke #short
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 6.85/10

Rating: 6.8/10 (13)

 Elephant Jokes 11


What do you call an elephant with a machine gun?
Sir!

What can an elephant with a machine gun call you?
Anything he likes!

What do you call an elephant that's small and pink?
A failure!

What is stronger an elephant or a snail?
A snail, because it carries it's house, an elephant just carries its trunk!

What do you give an elephant with big feet?
Plenty of room!

Tarzan was tired when he came home.
"What have you been doing", asked Jane.
"Chasing a herd of elephants on vines"
"Really?", said Jane. "I thought elephants stayed on the ground!"
What would happen if an elephant sat in front of you at the movies?
You would miss most of the film!

What steps would you take if you were being chased by an elephant?
Big ones!

What do you find in an elephants graveyard?
Elephantoms!

Why do elephants have wrinkly ankes?
Because their shoes are too tight!

#joke
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 3.20/10

Rating: 3.2/10 (10)

I think there are ab...

“I think there are about 1-2 million baseball fields in the world, but that's just a ballpark number.”

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 06 October 2016
  • Currently 8.00/10

Rating: 8.0/10 (7)

BETTER DAYS

BETTER DAYS ARE CAMING - THEY ARE CALLED SATURDAY AND SUNDAY!
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 23 July 2015
  • Currently 7.50/10

Rating: 7.5/10 (2)

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