Join us on
WhatsApp
Join us on
Telegram
Join us on
Viber

Jokes of the day for Friday, 06 December 2019

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Friday, 06 December 2019

“The retired weaver l

“The retired weaver liked to watch Star Trek and Lassie re-runs, dividing his leisure time between the warp and the woof.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 1.44/10

Rating: 1.4/10 (9)

An 8-year-old girl asks her fa

An 8-year-old girl asks her father, "Daddy,what is sex?" The father is somewhatsurprised that she would ask such aquestion. But, he reckons if she's oldenough to ask the question, then surelyshe's old enough for a straight answer.So, the father proceeds to tell his youngdaughter all about the "birds and the bees."
After a brief explanation, the little girlappears wide-eyed in disbelief. "By the way,dear, why do you ask?" the father asks.
The little girl replies, "Mommy told me to tellyou that dinner would be ready in just acouple of secs."
#joke #animal #bird #bee #food #dinner
Joke | Source: jokes warehouse - Animal jokes, Blonde jokes, doctor jokes, drunk jokes and jokes of the day
  • Currently 7.54/10

Rating: 7.5/10 (13)

 Steal Little Things


The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.
February 17, 1993
In July, a Jackson Center, Pa., woman reported that someone used a ladder to climb into the second story of her home and that all that was missing was $10 worth of diapers, despite the presence of jewelry and antiques in the same room.

#joke
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 1.80/10

Rating: 1.8/10 (5)

Chronic Evil

Hebert was being examined by the family doctor who, after carefully examining said, "Yes, it is chronic evil which has deprived you of health and happiness."
"Shh!" cautioned Hebert. "For heaven's sake doc, speak softly as the wife is sitting in the next room."

Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 5.83/10

Rating: 5.8/10 (12)

In order to pay his medical sc...

In order to pay his medical school tuition, a student was working two jobs over the summer. One was as a butcher's assistant and the other as a hospital orderly, both jobs that required the young man wear a long white coat.
One night he was wheeling a woman into surgery when she sat up suddenly, looked him in the eye, and screamed, "God save me! It's the butcher!"
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 10 March 2017
  • Currently 7.74/10

Rating: 7.7/10 (34)

Beethoven's Ninth

The symphony orchestra was performing Beethoven's Ninth.

In the piece, there's a long passage, about 20 minutes, during which the bass violinists have nothing to do.

Rather than sit around that whole time looking stupid, some bassists decided to sneak offstage and go to the tavern next door for a quick one.

After slamming several beers in quick succession, one of them looked at his watch and said, "Hey! We need to get back!"

"No need to panic," said a fellow bassist. "I thought we might need some extra time, so I tied the last few pages of the conductor's score together with string. It'll take him a few minutes to get it untangled."

A few moments later they staggered back to the concert hall and took their places in the orchestra.

About this time, a member of the audience noticed the conductor seemed a bit edgy and said as much to her companion.

"Well, of course," said her companion. "Don't you see? It's the bottom of the Ninth, the score is tied, and the bassists are loaded."

#joke #drinks #beer
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 11 December 2016
  • Currently 6.00/10

Rating: 6.0/10 (17)

A Guy was staying in a fancy h...

A Guy was staying in a fancy hotel and was enjoying the pool when the manager told him quite bluntly to get out. When asked for the reason, the manager said, "Because you peed in the pool."
"Well," replied the swimmer, "lots of people do that."
"True," answered the manager, "but you did it from the diving board."
#joke #sport #diving
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 06 December 2009
  • Currently 5.58/10

Rating: 5.6/10 (81)

What Will The Neighbors Think?

Jack was living in Arizona during a heat wave when the following took place.
"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," complained Jack as he stepped out of the shower. "Honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?"
"Probably that I married you for your money."
#joke #short #food #honey
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 06 December 2013
  • Currently 7.65/10

Rating: 7.7/10 (43)

Finally, the good-natured boss...

Finally, the good-natured boss was compelled to call Smith into his office.

"It has not escaped my attention," he pointed out, "that every time there's a home game at the stadium, you have to take your aunt to the doctor."

"You know you're right, sir," exclaimed Smith, "I didn't realize it. You don't suppose she's faking, do you?"
#joke #doctor
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 06 December 2009
  • Currently 8.10/10

Rating: 8.1/10 (41)

Carlos Mencia: Super-Fence

You know what they said in California? I saw it on C-Span -- people we vote for -- this is what they said, I propose that we kick all of the illegal aliens out of this country. Then we build a super-fence so they cant get back in. And I went, Um, whos gonna build it?
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 06 December 2011
  • Currently 3.83/10

Rating: 3.8/10 (40)

He Remembered

A Canadian tourist is fascinated by the Native American way of life and culture, so he decides to visit a reservation in the United States to find out more.
After a long and dusty drive through the Arizona desert, he finally arrives at the reservation.
Soon after his arrival, the tourist meets an old chief, who claims to remember everything that ever happened in his life.
The tourist is curious and asks the chief: “What did you have for breakfast on your fifth birthday?”Without hesitation, the chief replies: “eggs”.
The tourist was very impressed by this, and he never forgot the chief’s words, even after his visit had long since ended.
Ten years later, he returns to the reservation and is surprised to see the same old chief again.
He approaches the chief, puts his hand up flat and greets him with “how”.
“Scrambled,” the old chief replied.

#joke #food #breakfast
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 06 December 2018
  • Currently 8.33/10

Rating: 8.3/10 (30)

I got a job in the t...

“I got a job in the transmission shop. It's shift work.”

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 17 November 2016
  • Currently 7.91/10

Rating: 7.9/10 (11)

100 years old

Reporter: "So you are 100 years old. How did you manage to live so long?"
Old man: "Well, son, I got married when I was 21. The wife and I decided that if we had arguments, the loser would take a long walk to get over being mad. I suppose I have been benefitted most by 79 years of fresh air."
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 02 December 2015
  • Currently 7.67/10

Rating: 7.7/10 (6)

The first years...

Children:
You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk.

Then you spend the next 16 telling them to sit down and be quiet.

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 18 July 2015
  • Currently 8.85/10

Rating: 8.9/10 (20)

Late Bus

Two old women were sitting on a bench waiting for their bus. The buses were running late, and a lot of time passed. Finally, one woman turned to the other and said, "You know, I've been sitting here so long, my butt fell asleep!'.
The other woman turned to her and said "I know! I heard it snoring!"  

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 11 May 2015
  • Currently 8.60/10

Rating: 8.6/10 (10)

Jokes Archive

NOTE: All jokes on this web site are property of the sites they are collected from. Web site Jokes of the day is not responsible for content of jokes. We are not trying to offend, just looking for a good laugh!! If you are offended by any of the jokes, please complain to the site jokes are coming from.
This site uses cookies to store information on your computer. Some are essential to help the site properly. Others give us insight into how the site is used and help us to optimize the user experience. See our privacy policy.