Jokes of the day for Saturday, 20 June 2020
Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Saturday, 20 June 2020 |
The mus
The museum is unveiling a mural of the great Stooge's most famous quotations. Make sure to visit this fantastic Moe-say-ic.A Personal Trainer
I decided to quit my job as a personal trainer because I don't feel I'm fit enough for the job...
I’ve handed in my 'Too Weak' notice.
Common Famous Last Words
Common Famous Last Words
1. Hey yall, watch this!
2. Hey you! Yeah, you. You got a problem?
3. Honey, wait, I can explain!
4. Does that smell like gas to you?
5. I'm telling you, that sign says we're going the wrong way!
6. Officer, this not a gun, it's just my comb.
7. Are you sure you gave the ambulance our new address?
8. Okay, roger that. I'm cutting the blue wire.
9. That dog doesn't look all that mean to me.
10. Don't worry, the bigger they are, the harder they fall.
11. I don't need those depression pills anymore.
12. Hey you, that sign says "No Smoking" for a reason!
Ballerina Costumes
“Costumes are very important for a ballerina. She keeps them in her special tulle box.”
Two bats
Two bats are going for their midnight feed.After an hour or so, one bat gets tired of looking and goes home with no blood.The other bat comes home with blood dripping from its mouth. The first bat says enviously, "Where did you get all that blood from?"
The second bat replies, "Follow me. I'll show you."
After awhile the second bat leads them to a cave. He says, "You see that wall over there?"
The hungry bat excitedly says, "Yes!"
Other bat says, "I didn't."
dumb blondes
10 blondes and 1 brunette were mountain climbing one day. so they were climbing and they got into trouble at a spot one of them had to give up there life so they could continue on so the brunette said i'll do it so you girls can go on so she jumped to the jagged rocks below (ouch) the dumb blondes felt sorry for the brunette so they jumped of toTHE END
A tough looking group of hairy...
A tough looking group of hairy bikers are riding when they see a girl about to jump off a bridge, so they stop. The leader, a big burly man, gets off his bike and says, "What are you doing?" "I'm going to commit suicide," she says. While he doesn’t want to appear insensitive, he also doesn’t want to miss an opportunity, so he asks, "Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a kiss?" She does, and it is a long, deep, lingering kiss. After she's finished, the tough, hairy biker says, "Wow! That was the best kiss I’ve ever had! That's a real talent you’re wasting. You could be famous. Why are you committing suicide?" "My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl…"Dan Cummins: Greeting Card Writer
I dont just write jokes. You know what Im best at? Greeting cards. Im a really good greeting card writer. And Im going to prove it with a little sample of my work Im going to share for you: As each day passes, you grow older, weaker. Ive been working out. Revenge is near. Happy Fathers DayZach Galifianakis: Waking Up With an Erection
Guys, have you ever woken up with an erection, and then you realize youre just in a massage chair in a Brookstone?News headlines 04
Man Minus Ear Waives HearingNew Vaccine May Contain Rabies
Deaf College Opens Doors to Hearing
Arson Suspect is Held in Massachusetts Fire
Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
Air Head Fired
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge
Bank Drive-in Window Blocked by Board
Deer Kill 17,000
Old School Pillars are Replaced by Alumni
War Dims Hope for Peace
It was a baby mosquito's firs...
It was a baby mosquito's first day to fly out from home.When the mosquito came back home later that day, the father mosquito asked, "How was your journey?"
The baby mosquito replied, "It went great, everyone was clapping for me!"
Pork at a July 4th Picnic
A priest and a rabbi met at the annual July 4th picnic. They were old friends and loved to tease one another. "This baked ham is really good,” said the priest. “You really ought to break down and try some.”"I will, I will,” replies the rabbi, smiling, “at your wedding.”A friend tried to ma...
“A friend tried to make me say animal puns today but I thought they were boaring.”