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Jokes of the day for Saturday, 20 June 2020

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Saturday, 20 June 2020

The mus

The museum is unveiling a mural of the great Stooge's most famous quotations. Make sure to visit this fantastic Moe-say-ic.
#joke #short
The mus">Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 2.86/10

Rating: 2.9/10 (7)

A Personal Trainer

I decided to quit my job as a personal trainer because I don't feel I'm fit enough for the job...
I’ve handed in my 'Too Weak' notice.

#joke #short
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 5.83/10

Rating: 5.8/10 (12)

 A Very Interesting Fact


Doctor: Did you know that there are more than 1,000 bones in the human body?
Larry: Shhh, doctor! There are three dogs outside in the waiting room!

Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 4.41/10

Rating: 4.4/10 (17)

Common Famous Last Words

Common Famous Last Words

1. Hey yall, watch this!

2. Hey you! Yeah, you. You got a problem?

3. Honey, wait, I can explain!

4. Does that smell like gas to you?

5. I'm telling you, that sign says we're going the wrong way!

6. Officer, this not a gun, it's just my comb.

7. Are you sure you gave the ambulance our new address?

8. Okay, roger that. I'm cutting the blue wire.

9. That dog doesn't look all that mean to me.

10. Don't worry, the bigger they are, the harder they fall.

11. I don't need those depression pills anymore.

12. Hey you, that sign says "No Smoking" for a reason!

Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 6.17/10

Rating: 6.2/10 (6)

Ballerina Costumes

“Costumes are very important for a ballerina. She keeps them in her special tulle box.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 2.69/10

Rating: 2.7/10 (13)

Two bats

Two bats are going for their midnight feed.After an hour or so, one bat gets tired of looking and goes home with no blood.
The other bat comes home with blood dripping from its mouth. The first bat says enviously, "Where did you get all that blood from?"
The second bat replies, "Follow me. I'll show you."
After awhile the second bat leads them to a cave. He says, "You see that wall over there?"
The hungry bat excitedly says, "Yes!"
Other bat says, "I didn't."
#joke #animal #bat #food #hungry
Joke | Source: jokes warehouse - Animal jokes, Blonde jokes, doctor jokes, drunk jokes and jokes of the day
  • Currently 8.36/10

Rating: 8.4/10 (14)

Why are the blinds drawn...

As the lawyer slowly came out of the anesthesia after surgery, he said, "Why are all the blinds drawn, doctor?"

"There's a big fire across the street", the doctor replied. "We didn't want you to think the operation was a failure."

Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 03 July 2017
  • Currently 6.89/10

Rating: 6.9/10 (19)

dumb blondes

10 blondes and 1 brunette were mountain climbing one day. so they were climbing and they got into trouble at a spot one of them had to give up there life so they could continue on so the brunette said i'll do it so you girls can go on so she jumped to the jagged rocks below (ouch) the dumb blondes felt sorry for the brunette so they jumped of to

THE END

#joke #blonde
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 20 June 2011
  • Currently 2.24/10

Rating: 2.2/10 (74)

A tough looking group of hairy...

A tough looking group of hairy bikers are riding when they see a girl about to jump off a bridge, so they stop. The leader, a big burly man, gets off his bike and says, "What are you doing?" "I'm going to commit suicide," she says. While he doesn’t want to appear insensitive, he also doesn’t want to miss an opportunity, so he asks, "Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a kiss?" She does, and it is a long, deep, lingering kiss. After she's finished, the tough, hairy biker says, "Wow! That was the best kiss I’ve ever had! That's a real talent you’re wasting. You could be famous. Why are you committing suicide?" "My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl…"
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 20 June 2015
  • Currently 8.28/10

Rating: 8.3/10 (50)

Dan Cummins: Greeting Card Writer

I dont just write jokes. You know what Im best at? Greeting cards. Im a really good greeting card writer. And Im going to prove it with a little sample of my work Im going to share for you: As each day passes, you grow older, weaker. Ive been working out. Revenge is near. Happy Fathers Day
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 20 June 2010
  • Currently 4.61/10

Rating: 4.6/10 (41)

Zach Galifianakis: Waking Up With an Erection

Guys, have you ever woken up with an erection, and then you realize youre just in a massage chair in a Brookstone?
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 20 June 2012
  • Currently 3.86/10

Rating: 3.9/10 (37)

News headlines 04

Man Minus Ear Waives Hearing

New Vaccine May Contain Rabies

Deaf College Opens Doors to Hearing

Arson Suspect is Held in Massachusetts Fire

Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide

Air Head Fired

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge

Bank Drive-in Window Blocked by Board

Deer Kill 17,000

Old School Pillars are Replaced by Alumni

War Dims Hope for Peace

#joke #policeman #animal #deer
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 20 June 2012
  • Currently 4.21/10

Rating: 4.2/10 (29)

5 shots

One day a guy walks in a bar and asks for five shots of whiskey.

The bartender asks why.

The guy says, "I found out my brother is gay."

The same guy, comes in the next day and asks for ten shots of whiskey.

The bartender asks why.

The guys says, "I found out my other brother is gay."

The next day, the same guy comes in and asks for fifteen shots of whiskey.

The bartender asks why.

The guy says, "I found out my other brother is gay."

The bartender says, "Doesn't anyone like pussy anymore?"

The guy says, "Yeah, my sister."

#joke #drinks #whiskey
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 15 December 2010
  • Currently 5.61/10

Rating: 5.6/10 (57)

I'm Working

Just seen a burglar kicking his own door in.
I asked: “What are you doing?”
He said: “Working from home.”

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 19 April 2020
  • Currently 8.12/10

Rating: 8.1/10 (17)

Bribe

Taking his seat in his chambers, the judge faced the opposing lawyers.

"So," he said, "I have been presented, by both of you, with a bribe."

Both lawyers squirmed uncomfortably.

"You, attorney Leon, gave me $15,000. And you, attorney Campos, gave me $10,000."

The judge reached into his pocket and pulled out a check. He handed it to Leon. "Now then, I'm returning $5,000, and we're going to decide this case solely on its merits!"

#joke #lawyer
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 30 October 2015
  • Currently 9.38/10

Rating: 9.4/10 (8)

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