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Jokes of the day for Saturday, 18 February 2023

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Saturday, 18 February 2023

For a man to be teased by a fl

For a man to be teased by a flightless bird is rather emusculating.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 2.00/10

Rating: 2.0/10 (4)

Worrying Works

Worrying works...
90% of the things I worry about never happen!

#joke #short
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 9.00/10

Rating: 9.0/10 (5)

SLIDESHOW #11 - Funny Photo Slideshow

Adam and Eve...

Sometimes women are overly suspicious of their husbands.... When Adam stayed out very late for a few nights, Eve became upset.

"You're running around with other women," she told her mate.

"Eve, honey, you're being unreasonable," Adam responded. "You know you're the only woman on earth."

The quarrel continued until Adam fell asleep, only to be awakened by a strange pain in the chest. It was his darling Eve poking him rather vigorously about the torso.

"What do you think you're doing?" Adam demanded.

"Counting your ribs," said Eve.

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 07 March 2017
  • Currently 7.91/10

Rating: 7.9/10 (11)

Lost Rooster

The priest in a small Irish village was very fond of the chickens he kept in the hen house out the back of the parish manse. He had a cock rooster and about ten hens.
One Saturday night the cock rooster went missing and as that was the time he suspected cock fights occurred in the village he decided to do something about it at church the next morning.
At Mass, he asked the congregation "Has anybody got a cock?" - all the men stood up.
"No No" he said "That wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen a cock?" - all the women stood up.
"No No" he said "That wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen a cock that doesn't belong to them." - half the women stood up.

"No No" he said "That wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen my cock?" - all the nuns stood up.

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 18 February 2013
  • Currently 7.89/10

Rating: 7.9/10 (56)

A man walking down the street ...

A man walking down the street noticed a small boy trying to reach the doorbell of a house. Even when he jumped up, he couldn't quite reach it.The man decided to help the boy, walked up on to the porch and pushed the doorbell. He looked down at the boy, smiled and asked, "What now?"
The boy answered, "Now we run like crazy!"
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 18 February 2011
  • Currently 7.98/10

Rating: 8.0/10 (49)

Pickup truck full of penguins...

A police officer sees a man driving around with a pickup truck full of penguins. He pulls the guy over and says, "You can't drive around with penguins in this town! Take them to the zoo immediately."

The guy obliges and drives away.

The next day, the officer sees the same guy driving around with the truck full of penguins again. This time, though, all the penguins are wearing sunglasses.

The police officer pulls the guy over and says, "I thought I told you to take these penguins to the zoo yesterday?"

The guy replies, "I did, and today I'm taking them to the beach."

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 18 February 2017
  • Currently 8.60/10

Rating: 8.6/10 (42)

How do white fairytales st

How do white fairytales start? "Once upon a time,"
How do black fairytales start? "N*** you ain't gonna believe this!"

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 18 February 2021
  • Currently 4.10/10

Rating: 4.1/10 (39)

Brian Regan: One Eye Set Higher

My eye doctor told me this, Im not making this up. He goes, You know you have one eye set a little bit higher than your other eye? No, I didnt know that. He goes, Its no big deal; it doesnt affect your vision or anything. I just thought you might want to be self-conscious for the rest of your life.
#joke #short #doctor
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 18 February 2012
  • Currently 5.55/10

Rating: 5.5/10 (31)

Love and beer

I love you.

Is it you or the beer talking?

It’s me. Talking to my beer.

Funny Metal Sign sold on Amazon

#joke #short #beer
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 09 August 2019
  • Currently 8.44/10

Rating: 8.4/10 (9)

Stool sample

I went to see my doctor and he asked for a stool sample.

So i decided to take a basic woodworking course.

#joke #pun #short #doctor
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 10 June 2020
  • Currently 2.86/10

Rating: 2.9/10 (7)

Partner Takes Vacation

Signs Your Partner Needs A Vacation:
9. Every Tuesday he insists it's his turn to be the siren.
8. He wants to transfer to a K-9 unit because he thinks he'd look good in a collar.
7. He wants you to call him "Judge Dredd", and he insists that all suspects should be executed right there on the spot.
6. He talk to himself. Half of him is the "good cop", and the other half is the "bad cop".
5. He keeps asking you if his bullet proof vest makes him look fat.
4. He is exchanging donut recipes with complete strangers.
3. The perpetrators beg him to stop talking about his relationship troubles.
2. He wants to hear less talk and more music on the police channel.
1. He keeps handcuffing himself by accident!!
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 30 July 2015
  • Currently 3.17/10

Rating: 3.2/10 (6)

Ski Buddies

Three guys go on a skiing holiday together and to save money they rented only one room. After a full day on the slopes, they return to their room, exhausted and cold.
To keep warm, they all sleep in the same bed. The next morning, the guy on one side of the bed says he had a funny dream that some one was jerking him off. The guy on the other side of the bed said that he had the same dream!
The the guy in the middle said, "I had a dream last night, too. But I only dreamt that I was skiing."  

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 20 September 2015
  • Currently 6.17/10

Rating: 6.2/10 (6)

International Plastic Bag Free Day Joke

July 3rd is International Plastic Bag Free Day! Find joke about it!

Why did the plastic bag go to therapy? It couldn't handle the pressure and felt all crumpled up inside.

#internationalplasticbagfreeday #plasticbagfreeday

#joke #short
  • Currently 3.00/10

Rating: 3.0/10 (2)

Home is

Home is where your WiFi connects automatically

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 08 June 2015
  • Currently 8.33/10

Rating: 8.3/10 (3)

There were two buddies, one wi...

There were two buddies, one with a Doberman Pinscher and the other with a Chihuahua. The guy with the Doberman Pinscher says to his friend, "Let's go over to that restaurant and get something to eat."
The guy with the Chihuahua says, "We can't go in there. We've got dogs with us."
The buddy with the Doberman Pinscher says, "Just follow my lead."
They walk over to the restaurant, the guy with the Doberman Pinscher puts on a pair of dark glasses and he starts to walk in. The bouncer at the door says, "Sorry, mac, no pets allowed."
The man with the Doberman Pinscher says, "You don't understand. This is my seeing-eye-dog."
The bouncer says, "A Doberman Pinscher?"
He answers, "Yes, they're using them now; they're very good and protect me from robbers, too."
The man at the door says, "Come on in."
The buddy with the Chihuahua figures, "What the heck," so he puts on a pair of dark glasses and starts to walk in.
Once again the bouncer says, "Sorry, pal, no pets allowed."
The guy with the Chihuahua says, "You don't understand. This is my seeing-eye dog."
The bouncer at the door says, "A Chihuahua?"
The man with the Chihuahua says, "A Chihuahua?????? They gave me a Chihuahua?!"
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 30 June 2015
  • Currently 8.70/10

Rating: 8.7/10 (66)

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