Popular jokes (19516 to 19530)Jokes sorted by popularity on social networks. Popularity is sum of all all comments, likes, pluses, tweets, etc. is new measure, independant from rating with our star rating system. |
I went to a horticultural conf
I went to a horticultural conference and they said ‘Please be seeded.'Knock Knock Collection 103
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Joan!
Joan who!
Joan you remember me?
!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Joan!
Joan who!
Joan call us we'll call you!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Joanna!
Joanna who!
Joanna big kiss!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Joanne!
Joanne who!
Joanne tell!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Joe Namath!
Joe Namath who!
Joe Namath not on the door thats why I knocked!
Fishermen Meet
When Fishermen Meet
"Hiyamac"
"Lobuddy"
"Binearlong?"
"Coplours"
"Cetchenny?"
"Goddafew"
"Kindarthay?"
"Bassencarp"
"Ennysizetoom?"
"Couplapowns"
"Hittinhard?"
"Sordalike"
"Wachoosen?"
"Gobbawurms"
"Fishanonaboddum?"
"Rydononaboddum"
"Whatchadrinkin?"
"Jugajimbeam"
"Igoddago"
"Tubad"
"Seeyaroun"
"Yeahtakideezy"
"Guluck"
Frugal...
Mary's fourth grade homework assignment was to make sentences using the words in her spelling list, along with the definition. Coming across the word "frugal" in the list, she asked her father what it meant.
He explained that being frugal meant you saved something.
Her paper read: "Frugal: to save."
Sentence: "Maid Marion fell into a pit when she went walking in the woods so she yelled for someone to come get her out. She yelled 'Frugal me, Frugal me!'"
Answering Machine Message 76
French monologue in the background: Around the world today, millions still speak French as either a first or second language. But with your continued support and help, we can wipe out French in our lifetime. Please leave a message in English at the tone, and remember, if someone tries to speak French to you, just say, "non".
“Moonlighting at stan
“Moonlighting at stand-up comedy, the baker was known for his rye humor.”
Tolkien your language
Tolkien your language
#joke #short
Advertising Lingo
Ever wonder what all those advertising terms really mean?
———————————————————-
NEW – Different colour from previous design.
ALL NEW – Parts are not interchangeable with previous design.
EXCLUSIVE – Imported product.
UNMATCHED – Almost as good as the competition.
FOOLPROOF OPERATION – No provision for adjustments.
ADVANCED DESIGN – The advertising agency doesn't understand it.
IT'S HERE AT LAST – Rush job. Nobody knew it was coming.
FIELD TESTED – Manufacturer lacks test equipment.
HIGH ACCURACY – Unit on which all parts fit.
FUTURISTIC – No other reason why it looks the way it does.
REDESIGNED – Previous flaws fixed – we hope.
DIRECT SALES ONLY – Factory had a big argument with distributor.
YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT – We finally got one to work.
BREAKTHROUGH – We finally figured out a use for it.
MAINTENANCE FREE – Impossible to fix.
MEETS ALL STANDARDS – Ours, not yours.
SOLID-STATE – Heavy as hell.
HIGH RELIABILITY – We made it work long enough to ship it.
TOP TEN SIGNS YOU HIRED THE WRONG KID TO MOW YOUR LAWN
10.He shows up with a pair of nail clippers and a Ziploc bag9. On the side of his mower you notice the stenciled silhouettes of thirteen cats
8. Stops frequently to nap inside the grass-catcher
7. Always trying to impress you by stopping the mower blades with his head
6. You notice him shoving the last of his clothes into the mulcher
5. He's fascinated by the details of you home security system
4. Stops every couple of minutes to smoke some clippings
3. Somehow manages to mow the hood ornament off your Lexus
2. Turns a goat loose and says he'll be back in three weeks
1. No toes
What do Saddam Hussien and General Custer ...
What do Saddam Hussien and General Custer have in common? They were wondering where all of those Tomahawks were coming from.Teacher: Today, we're going t
Teacher: Today, we're going to talk about the tenses. Now, if I say "I am beautiful", which tense is it?Student: Obviously it is the past tense.
