Popular jokes (19816 to 19830)Jokes sorted by popularity on social networks. Popularity is sum of all all comments, likes, pluses, tweets, etc. is new measure, independant from rating with our star rating system. |
How many puns until you are af
How many puns until you are afraid of puns? A: Approx. one pun-dread.#joke #short
Mrs. Golden was shopping at a
Mrs. Golden was shopping at a produce stand in her neighborhood. She approached the vendor and asked, "How much are these oranges?""Two for a quarter," answered the vendor.
"How much is just one?" she asked.
"Fifteen cents," answered the vendor.
"Then I'll take the other one," said Mrs. Golden.
Dealing with unwanted calls
Tina says to her friend, Mick, "I am tired of these marketing calls and promotional offers that I keep getting on my cellphone."
Mick says, "You should follow my idea. Every time I get such a call, I answer 'This is the local sperm bank. You jack it, we pack it. How may I help you?'"
#joke #short
What is so great about being a
What is so great about being a test tube baby? You get a womb with a view.#joke #short
“If you see cattle we
“If you see cattle wearing shin pads then you know they are on a weight loss program to reduce grazing.”
#joke #short
Complain here!
In a hotel in Athens: Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily.
#joke #short
View
What is the only bad thing about the '69' position?The view.
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Calamjo
#joke #short
Answering Machine Message 181
(From a distance:) Hello I'm far very away from the phone at the moment and can't get to it to take your message, but I'll get back to you as soon as I get nearer to the phone!#joke #short
A guy goes to the doctor with
A guy goes to the doctor with an excrucitaing pain in his dick.He says to the doctor, "Doc, I've got this terrible pain in my dick, you've gotta take a look."
The doctor tells him to drop his pants, then his undies. The doc grabs his dick and pulls out a magnifying glass and examines the guy's dick.
"That's incredible," he says, "You've got a tiny steering wheel growing out of the end of your prick!"
The patient replies, "Yeah, it's been driving me nuts."
#joke #doctor
The Sub-Rhyme Crisis <...
The Sub-Rhyme Crisis of 2007 was caused by bad poetry.#joke #short
How does the Devil welcome you
How does the Devil welcome you down to Hell? “Watch out, a soul!”#joke #short
Diamond Ring
A cop saw a young blonde woman down on her knees under a streetlight. "Can I help you?" he asked.Replied the woman, "I dropped my diamond ring and I'm looking for it."
Asked the cop "did you drop it right here?"
"No," responded the blonde, "I dropped it about a block away, but the light's better here."
#joke #blonde
What did Tonto put on his sush
What did Tonto put on his sushi when undergoing cancer treatment?#joke #short
Alphabet Letters
How many letters are there in the alphabet?
Noel, noel, noel, noel ... the angels did say...
E.T. went home.
Get rid of X. There's too many unknowns in the world already!
(Only one vowel left, or is that "Anly ana vawal laft" This may be stretching it a bit, but not unless you consider, as our good friends in Canada say: Good day, A!
And we all know that M&Ms melt in your mouth, so it's safe to count them out.
And of course, Y not.
We might as well put off using U until later in the year: See U in September
TWA just took off!!
#joke
