Popular jokes (25861 to 25875)Jokes sorted by popularity on social networks. Popularity is sum of all all comments, likes, pluses, tweets, etc. is new measure, independant from rating with our star rating system. |
A southern farmer got in his p
A southern farmer got in his pickup and drove several miles to a neighboring farmand knocked on the farmhouse door. A young boy, about 12, opened the door. "Is yerpa home?" he asked."No sir, he sure ain't," the boy replied. "He went to town."
"Well," said the farmer. "Is yer ma home?"
"No, she ain't here either. She went to town with Pa."
"Well, then, how about yer brother, Joe, is he here?"
"No sir, he went with Pa and Ma."
The farmer stood there for a few minutes, shifting from onefoot to the other, and mumbling to himself.
"Is there anything I kin do fer ya'?" inquired the young boy politely. "I know whereall the tools are, if you want to borry one; Or maybe I could take a message ferPa."
Well," said the farmer uncomfortably, "I really wanted to talk to yer Pa. It's aboutyour brother Joe getting my daughter, Pearly Mae, pregnant."
The boy considered for a moment. "You would have to talk to Pa about that," he finallyconceded. "I know that Pa charges $500 for the bull and $250 for the boar hog, butI really don't know how much he gets for Joe."
Why is a government worker lik...
Why is a government worker like a broken shotgun? It won't work and you can't fire it.You Don't Believe All That Stuff, Do You?
The lady replied, "Of course I do. It's the Bible." He said, "Well, what about that guy that was swallowed by that whale?"She replied, "Oh, Jonah. Yes, I believe that. It's in the Bible." He asked, "Well, how do you suppose he survived all that time inside the whale?" The lady said, "Well, I don't really know. I guess when I get to heaven, I will ask him." "What if he isn't in heaven?" the man asked sarcastically. "Then you can ask him." replied the lady.A salesman, who had completed
A salesman, who had completed a trip earlier than expected, left his wife a message on their answering machine. When he got home, he found his wife in bed with another man. Being a non-violent type, he went to his father-in-law and told him what happened. "I'm sure there must be an explanation," his father-in-law assured him.The next day, the husband came back to the father-in-law smiling. "I knew it! I knew there was an explanation," he said. "She forgot to check her phone messages."
“If you're really ou
“If you're really out of sorts, I might have a couple that you could borrow.”
Good on ya mate
A Kiwi guy decides to travel around the Greek Islands.He walks into a bar and Jill (the Kiwi Barmaid) takes his order, a Speights, and notices his accent.
Over the course of the night they get to know each other.
At the end of Jill's shift he asks her if she wants to come back to his place and have sex with him.
Although she is attracted to him she says no.
He then offers to pay her $200 for sex.
Jill is travelling the world and because she is short of funds she agrees.
The next night the guy turns up again, orders a Speights and after showing her plenty of attention throughout the night he asks if she will sleep with him again for $200.
Jill remembers the night before and is only too happy to agree.
This goes on for 5 nights.
On the 6th night the guy comes in, orders a Speights and sits in the corner.
Jill thinks that if she pays him more some attention then maybe she can then shake some more cash out of him again, so she goes over and sits next to him.
She asks him where he's from in New Zealand and he tells her: "Nelson".
"So am I... What suburb in Nelson?"
"Wakatu" he replies.
"That's amazing..." she says, "So am I - what Street?"
"Leach Place" he replies.
"This is unbelievable..." she says,"What number?"
He says "Number 7" and she is totally astonished.
"You are not going to believe this but I'm from Number 9! My parents still live there!"
"I know..." he says, "Your Father gave me $1,000 to give to you"
HE WHO DRINKS KIWI THINKS KIWI!
Good on ya mate
“What part of the Uni...
“What part of the United States produces the largest number of cardiologists? The heartland.”
When I was at school, I was as...
When I was at school, I was as smart as the next fellow. Too bad the next fellow was such an idiot."Do you know the present value
"Do you know the present value of your husband's policy?" the life insurance salesman asked his client."What do you mean?" countered the woman.
"If you should lose your husband, what would you get?" asked the salesman.
The woman thought a minute, then brightened up and said, "Probably a poodle."
