Popular jokes (31906 to 31920)Jokes sorted by popularity on social networks. Popularity is sum of all all comments, likes, pluses, tweets, etc. is new measure, independant from rating with our star rating system. |
Pa Won't Like It
A farm boy accidentally overturned his wagonload of corn. The farmer who lived nearby heard the noise and yelled over to the boy, "Hey Willis, forget your troubles. Come in and visit with us. I'll help you get the wagon up later.""That's mighty nice of you," Willis answered, "but I don't think Pa would like me to."
"Aw come on boy," the farmer insisted.
"Well okay," the boy finally agreed, and added, "but Pa won't like it."
After a hearty dinner, Willis thanked his host. "I feel a lot better now, but I know Pa is going to be real upset."
"Don't be foolish!" the neighbor said with a smile. "By the way, where is he?"
"Under the wagon."
My friend drowned in a bowl of...
My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. He was pulled in by a strong currant.Slept with
An old couple were talking. The wife asked her husband, "How many women have you slept with?"
"Only you, Darling,” the man replied proudly. “With all the others I was awake."
Tennis Shoes
Two hunters are walking through a forest looking for deer. When all of a sudden, a giant bear jumps out and scares the shit out of them. They drop their guns and run like hell.
One of the hunters stopped, opened up his backpack and laced up a pair of tennis shoes. His buddy looked at him and said, "What are you doing? Are you crazy? You can't outrun the bear!"
To this the hunter said, "I know, all I have to do is outrun you!"
With all my love
A jeweler was approached by his regular client, Mrs. Havers with a strange request.
Mrs. Havers, who was divorced, asked the jeweler to make two earrings from her inscribed wedding band - while one earring read 'with all', the other one read, 'my love.'
The jeweler was curious and asked her why she wanted it like that.
Mrs. Havers replied, "Its only to remember that the next time someone says that to me, I should let it go in one ear and out the other."
Crocodile Is Longer
Prove that the crocodile is longer than it is wide.
Lemma 1. The crocodile is longer than it is green: Let's look at the crocodile. It is long on the top and on the bottom, but it is green only on the top. Therefore, the crocodile is longer than it is green.
Lemma 2. The crocodile is greener than it is wide: Let's look at the crocodile. It is green along its length and width, but it is wide only along its width. Therefore, the crocodile is greener than it is wide.
From Lemma 1 and Lemma 2 we conclude that the crocodile is longer than it is wide.
Helping Your Father
A clergyman walking down a country lane and sees a young farmer struggling to load hay back onto a cart after it had fallen off.
"You look hot, my son," said the cleric. "why don't you rest a moment, and I'll give you a hand."
"No thanks," said the young man.
"My father wouldn't like it."
"Don't be silly," the minister said.
"Everyone is entitled to a break. Come and have a drink of water."
Again the young man protested that his father would be upset. Losing his patience, the clergyman said, "Your father must be a real slave driver. Tell me where I can find him and I'll give him a piece of my mind!"
"Well," replied the young farmer, "he's under the load of hay."
The Israeli PM likes to surf t
The Israeli PM likes to surf the Net and Yahoo.I have learned that if you ups...
I have learned that if you upset your wife she nags you...If you upset her even more you get the silent treatment...
Don't you think it's worth the extra effort?
Knock Knock
Who's there?...
Knock KnockWho's there?
Alex
Alex who?
Alexplain later now let me in.
