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Doctor jokes - jokes about doctors (301 to 315)Jokes about doctor. These are funny jokes with doctors! These are the jokes listed 301 to 315. |
A girl goes into the doctor's
A girl goes into the doctor's office for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a red "H" on her chest."How did you get that mark on your chest?" asks the doctor.
"Oh, my boyfriend went to Harvard and he's so proud of it that he never takes off his Harvard sweatshirt, even when we make love," she replies.
"I guess it just leaves an impression."
A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a blue "Y" on her chest.
"How did you get that mark on your chest?" asks the doctor.
"Oh, my boyfriend went to Yale and he's so proud of it that he never takes off his Yale sweatshirt, even when we make love," she replies.
A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a green "M" on her chest.
"Do you have a boyfriend at Michigan?" asks the doctor.
"No, but I have a girlfriend at Wisconsin. Why do you ask?"
#joke #doctor
A man went to the doctor compl
A man went to the doctor complaining of insomnia. The doctor gave him a thorough examination, found absolutely nothing physically wrong with him, and then told him, "Listen, if you ever expect to cure your insomnia, you just have to stop taking your troubles to bed with you.""I know," said the man, "but I can't. My wife refuses to sleep alone."
#joke #doctor
Late Appointment
Doctor: "I see you're over a month late for your appointment. Don't you know that nervous disorders require prompt and regular attention? What's your excuse?"
Patient: "I was just following your orders, Doc."
Doctor: "Following my orders? What are you talking about? I gave you no such order."
Patient: "You told me to avoid people who irritate me."
#joke #doctor
Why So Expensive?
Patient- Dr. How much it will cost me to extract my two teeth?
Dentist- $300 US dollars
Patient- How much time it will take?
Dentist- Five minutes
Patient- Five minutes only & it's $300 US dollars! Don't you think that is too expensive?
Dentist- I can do it in 30 minutes if you want?
Its pissing down and this midg
Its pissing down and this midget goes to the doctors and says "Every time it rains my fanny gets sore".He tells her to hop onto the examining couch. He bends over and looks up her skirt. "I see the problem," he says. And taking a pair of scissors shoves them up her skirt. Snip snip snip snip he goes with the scissors. "There that's fixed it" he says. "Your fanny wont be sore any more"
"Did you operate on my fanny doctor?" asks the midget.
"No" said the doctor, "I cut 2 inches off the tops of your wellingtons".
#joke #doctor
Question And Answer Animal Jokes
Q: Why did the turtle cross the road?
A: To get to the Shell station!
Q: Why did the chicken scientist cross the road?
A: To invent the other side.
Q: Why did the chicken lawyer cross the road?
A: To corrupt the other side.
Q: Why did the chicken IRS representative cross the road?
A: To bankrupt the other side.
Q: Why did the chicken lawyer cross the road?
A: To get to the car accident on the other side.
Q: Why did chicken Dr. Kevorkian cross the road?
A: To help the patient find the other side.
Q: Why did chicken Jim Morrison cross the road?
A: To break on through to the other side.
Q: Why do birds fly South?
A: Because it's too far to walk.
A hunter was rushed into the e
A hunter was rushed into the emergency room with a bear trap clamped onto his testicles. As the horrified doctor was examining him, he said "Man, how did this happen?"The hunter explains that he was out in the woods and felt the call of nature. Bending down by a tree, the bear trap was triggered and snapped shut on his testicles.
"Oh," exclaims the doctor, "The pain must have been excruciating!"
"It was," said the hunter. "The second worst pain in my life."
"Second worst? What could have been worse than that?"
"Coming to the end of the chain" said the hunter.
A redneck couple, both bona fi...
A redneck couple, both bona fide rednecks, had 9 children. They went to the doctor to see about getting the husband 'fixed'.The doctor gladly started the required procedure and asked them what finally made them make the decision. Why after nine children would they choose to do this?
The husband replied that they had read in a recent article that one out of every ten children being born in the United States was Mexican, and they didn't want to take a chance on having a Mexican baby because neither of them could speak Spanish.
A man enters the hospital for
A man enters the hospital for a circumcision. When he comes to after the procedure, he's perturbed to see several doctors standing around his bed."Son, there's been a bit of a mix-up," admits the surgeon. "I'm afraid there was an accident, and we were forced to perform a sex-change operation. You now have a vagina instead of a penis."
"What?!" gasps the patient. "You mean I'll never experience another erection?"
"Oh, you might, " the surgeon reassures him. "Just not yours."
#joke #doctor
The mother of a 17-year-old gi...
The mother of a 17-year-old girl was concerned that her daughter was having sex. Worried the girl might become pregnant and adversely impact the family's status, she consulted the family doctor.The doctor told her that teenagers today were very willful and any attempt to stop the girl would probably result in rebellion. He then told her to arrange for her daughter to be put on birth control and until then, talk to her and give her a box of condoms.
Later that evening, as her daughter was preparing for a date, the woman told her about the situation and handed her a box of condoms.
The girl burst out laughing and reached over to hug her mother saying: "Oh Mom! You don't have to worry about that! I'm dating Susan!"
