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Short jokes - funny one liners (3801 to 3840)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 3801 to 3840. |
"Who likes music?" asks a comm
"Who likes music?" asks a commander.Two soldiers step forward.
"OK you two. I bought a piano. Take it to my apartment on the fourth floor."
“He fought against th
“He fought against the whirlpool until he was completely drained.”
“The liquor store was
“The liquor store was burgled with no sign of a break in, no fingerprints and only spirits were taken. Police suspect it was a polter-heist.”
“I have a seamstress
“I have a seamstress friend whose job is hanging by a thread yet she is able to keep her sense of humor. She is sew funny she always has me in stitches.”
“Since I changed the
“Since I changed the color of my favorite monastic robes they have been stiff and uncomfortable. I guess old habits dye hard.”
A man boarded a plane with 6 k
A man boarded a plane with 6 kids. After they got settled in their seats a woman sitting across the aisle from him leaned over to him and asked, "Are all of those kids yours?"He replied, "No. I work for a condom company. These are customer complaints."
Answering Machine Message 45
You just dialed into the North American Air Defense Contract Center. Stand by at the tone to give coordinates and destination of incoming bogey. TNR Surveillance will scramble. If you do not respond, this unit will assume incoming, non-urgent.
“When two orthopedist
“When two orthopedists started a new surgery, it was a joint operation.”
The horny midget found that th
The horny midget found that the best way to make time with women was to be direct about it. So he went up to the tallest blondest woman at the party and said, "Hey, honey, whaddaya say to a little f*ck?"She looked down at him and promptly replied, "Hello, you little f*ck!"
“As I scent her out t
“As I scent her out to a choir cheep denim genes I waived good buy.”
The angry wife met her husband
The angry wife met her husband at the door. There was alcohol on his breath and lipstick on his cheek."I assume," she snarled, "that there is a very good reason for you to come waltzing in at six o'clock in the morning?"
"There is." he replied, "Breakfast."
“When the tree surgeo
“When the tree surgeon and his girlfriend broke up, he pined for her for months. Knock on wood, they will someday get back together.”
Answering Machine Message 90
Pink Floyd's "Nobody Home":
You have reached 587-8783. Please leave a message. ("Ohhhhhhhhh, babe... When I pick up the phone... There's still... Nobody home.")
One winter morning, an employe
One winter morning, an employee explained why he had shown up for work 50 minutes late: "It was so slippery out that for every step I took ahead, I slipped back two."The boss eyed him suspiciously, "Oh, yeah? Then how did you ever get here?"
"I finally gave up," he said, "and started for home."
“My sister fell in lo
“My sister fell in love with a circus trapeze artist. At first, we all thought she was attracted to his net worth, but she said it was his gravity-defying leaps of thought. They are both flying high now.”
Answering Machine Message 19
(MacIntosh Plus with MacIntalk program:) Hello, it's obvious you have bad timing, because nobody is home. Please leave your name, telephone number, and a brief message in a voice similar to mine, and your call will be returned as soon as humanly possible.
“My church has a well
“My church has a well-respected bell choir. I started to audition for it but the long practice sessions did not appeal to me. I am sorry now I did not inquire more about it out because now my chance is gong forever.”
“The fashion woman cl
“The fashion woman clothing manufacturer moved to their operation to the country so they could sell outskirts.”
Poverty Line
Politician wanted to (bring/uplift) poor peopleliving below poverty line. He thought that
simplest way will be to tie that poverty line
2 feet below from the existing level so that
those poor people can be brought up quickly
and they will be richer.
