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Short jokes - funny one liners (3761 to 3800)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 3761 to 3800. |
“Whenever the boy fou
“Whenever the boy found himself in hot water his temper would boil.”
“When words newly coi
“When words newly coined are included in the dictionary, it brings about many a change!”
Exit sign manufactur...
“Exit sign manufacturers are reporting a shortage of the stencils needed to create the signs. In the meantime, price increases for the signs have become an exit stencil reality.”
A Recently Spotted Bumper Sticker:
"My other car is a broomstick."“What did the narcoti
“What did the narcotics agent say when he arrested the tailor? 'You're basted.'”
A woman comes home and finds h
A woman comes home and finds her husband in bed with a female midget. Furious, she screams, "You promised me you wouldn't cheat on me again!"The husband replies, "Darling, can't you see I'm trying? I've cut down."
The meat market had...
“The meat market had a special on pork prices, the sign said ham me downs.”
Sincerity is everything.
Sincerity is everything. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
Friar George Burns
This garment is made...
“This garment is made out of the feathers of starving parrots. It's polypropylene.”
2 Men in 1 Night
My sister was with two men in one night.
She could hardly walk after that.
Can you imagine? Two dinners!
In the vinyl analysi...
“In the vinyl analysis, plastic waste in the ocean poses a serious threat to marine life.”
I was on the Subway
I was on the subway, sitting on a newspaper, and a guy comes over and asks ‘Are you reading that?'
I didn’t know what to say. So I said yes. I stood up, turned the page, and sat down again.
Pierced Ears and Marriage
Q. Why are Jewish men with pierced ears well prepared for marriage? A. Because they’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.- Joke shared by Beliefnet member BeliefnetSabeeDead Atheist
Q: What do you call a dead atheist? A: Someone all dressed up with nowhere to go! - Joke shared by Beliefnet member sharohioA Puzzle for Darwin
On the sixth day, God created the platypus. And God said: Let's see the evolutionists try and figure this one out. I always look for a woman who has a tattoo
If I see a woman with a tattoo, and I’m thinking, okay, here’s a gal who’s capable of making a decision she’ll regret in the future.
Row, Row, Row Your Boat?
A student was asked if he knew what Roe v. Wade was about. He answered that he thought it was the decision George Washington had to make when he decided to cross the Delaware.Calling home, the traveling va...
Calling home, the traveling vacuum cleaner salesman complained to his wife that he'd gotten two orders that day."But darling," she declared, "that's wonderful!"
"Not so wonderful," he glumly corrected. "The first was 'Get out' and the second was 'Stay out.'"
Friendly Pastor
After the birth of their child, an Episcopal priest, wearing his clerical collar, visited his wife in the hospital. He greeted her with a hug and a kiss, and gave her another hug and kiss when he left. Later, the wife's roommate commented, “Your pastor is sure friendlier than mine.”I applied for a job...
“I applied for a job as a weatherman, but my knowledge of meteorology was a little cloudy.”
Big Mouth!
A Jewish gentleman stood before a delicatessen display counter and pointed to a tray. "I'll have a pound of that salmon," he said."That's not salmon," the clerk said. "It's ham.""Mister," the customer snapped, "in case nobody ever told you, you got a big mouth!"“Why did the watch ma
“Why did the watch make a quick trip to the dry cleaners? It was pressed for time!”
What Did the Cannibal Say…
Q. What did the cannibal say when he came upon a sleeping missionary.A. "Ah! Breakfast in bed."If Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder...
“If absence makes the heart grow fonder,” said a minister, “a lot of folks must really love our church.”“Quite a few people l
“Quite a few people left the office to attend Ash Wednesday services at lunch - it was a mass exodus!”
Eve's Steep Price
God noticed that Adam was lonely. He said to him "Adam, I am going to give you the perfect companion. She'll cook and clean and listen, she's perfect."Adam replied, "What will she cost me?"God said, "An arm and a leg."Shocked, Adam said, "Well, what can I get for a rib?"