The best jokes (17596 to 17610)The best jokes rated by site visitors. Top rated jokes. These are the best jokes rated 17596 to 17610. NOTE jokes sometimes might seem not to be in order. Due to better performance joke top list is refreshed only once daily. |
Greg Warren: Cheating at Chess
Everything in my parents house is broken. We play chess, and there are six pieces missing from our chess set. So, we replace them with pieces from my moms nativity scene. Were playing chess with the Virgin Mary and goats and wise men, and my Uncle Earl cheats. Its like: Uncle Earl, thats a pawn. Youre not supposed to move him backwards. Thats the son of God, boy! You move him wherever the hell he wants to go.Stewed Tomatoes
A guy is going on an ocean cruise, and he tells his doctor that he's worry about getting seasick.The doctor suggests, ''Eat two pounds of stewed tomatoes before you leave the dock.''
The guy replies, ''Would that keep me from getting sick, Doc?''
The doctor says, ''No, but it'll look real pretty in the water.''
#joke #doctor
Witches On Brooms
Q. Why donât witches wear underwear?A. To get a better grip on the broom!
#joke #short
Darrell Hammond: Wrong Number
Women solve problems faster than men. Ever see a woman dial a wrong number? Operator tells her to check the number and dial again, shell check the number and dial again. There aint a man in this room that will check the number and dial again. Were gonna dial the same damn number, only this time push the buttons a whole lot harder.#joke
The nightclubbing lifestyle is...
The nightclubbing lifestyle is so incredible, it involves a suspension of disco ball ief.#joke #short
Daniel Kilpatrick: Pimp My Ride
For those of you over the age of 25, Pimp My Ride is a show where they take people with bad cars like mine and they give them all this stuff that they dont need. Like, if I went on that show, Id have very simple instructions. Id be like, Hey, I dont need a hot tub or a water slide or a popcorn maker or an ice machine or a place to perform surgery in my Cutlass. Fix my reverse.#joke
The visiting Bible school supe...
The visiting Bible school supervisor asks little Johnny during Bible class, "Who broke down the walls of Jericho?"Little Johnny replies, "I dunno, but it wasn't me!"
The supervisor, taken aback by Johnny's lack of basic Bible knowledge goes to the school principal and relates the whole incident.
The principal replies, "I know Little Johnny as well as his whole family and can vouch for them; if Little Johnny said that he did not do it, then I, as principal is satisfied that it is the truth."
Even more appalled, the inspector goes to the regional Head of Education and relates the whole story...
After listening he replies: "I can't see why you are making such a big issue out of this; just get three quotes and fix the damned wall!"
#joke
Knock Knock Collection 130
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Mira!
Mira who?
Miracle on 34th Street!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Mischa!
Mischa who?
Mischa a lot!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Missouri!
Missouri who?
Missouri loves compnay!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Mitzi!
Mitzi who?
Mitzi door shut, you'll never know!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Monkey!
Monkey who?
Monkey won't fit that's why I knocked!
#joke #animal #monkey
Idiot
Don't argue with an idiot!People watching may not be able to tell the difference.
#joke #short
Hilarious jokes-Marriage counselor
A couple was having marital difficulties and consulted a marriage counselor. After meeting with them, the counselor told them that their problems could all be traced to a lack of communication. "You two need to talk," he said. "So, I recommend that you go to a jazz club. Just wait until it's time for the bass player to solo. Then you'll be talking just like everyone else."
#joke
