The best jokes (19096 to 19110)

Which bird is most easily emba

What does a Pope say to an What does a Pope say to an Anti-Pope? “See you in halo.”

#joke #short

“Doctor Otto Focus re

“Doctor Otto Focus represented the very squintessence of bad optometry.”

So… I beat my boss over

Some punk teenager with bad skin always eczema house.

#joke #short

“Shirts are pressed f

“Shirts are pressed for cash.”

When my kidnappers shoved a s

“My horse was on the

“My horse was on the small side, so I decided to make him larger. I used a broncodilator.”

I broke out in a waltz today.

Just because I kissed an Irish

“Circus dogs fly thro

“Circus dogs fly through the air with the greatest of fleas.”

Limited Knowledge

As we were putting out cookies for Santa on Christmas Eve, I accidentally dropped one.
'No problem,' I said, picking it up and dusting it off before placing it back on the plate.
'You can’t do that,' argued my four-year-old.
'Don’t worry. Santa will never know.'
He shot me a look. 'So he knows if I’ve been bad or good, but he doesn’t know the cookie fell on the floor?'

The bridegroom, who was in a h

“Why should you never

“Why should you never throw away an old dolphin? Because they can easily be re-porpoised!”

The Important Of Moaning

Morris comes home to find his wife, Sadie, crying.
“I found out from the neighbors that you’ve been having an affair with that cheap secretary in your office! Why would you do that to me? Haven’t I always been a good wife? I’ve cooked for you, raised your children, and I’ve always been by your side for thirty-five years. What haven’t I done to make you happy?”
Embarrassed, Morris confesses, “It’s true, Sadie, you’ve been the best wife a man could hope for. You make me happy in all ways but one. You don’t moan when we make love!”
Sadie questions: “If I moaned when we had sex, you’d stop running around?! All right, come to the bedroom so I can show you that I, too, can moan!”
So they retire to the bedroom, get undressed, and climb beneath the sheets. As they begin to kiss, Sadie asks, “Now, Morris, should I moan now?”
“No, not yet.”
Morris begins fondling Sadie. “What about now, Morris? Should I moan now?”
“No, I’ll tell you when!”
He climbs on top of Sadie and begins to have intercourse.
“Is it time for me to moan, Morris?”
“Wait, I’ll tell you when.”
Moments later, in the heat of passion, Morris yells “Now, Sadie, moan! MOAN!”
“OY! OY!” Moans Sadie. “You wouldn’t BELIEVE what a day I’ve had!”