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28 Morbidly Amusing Dark Humor Jokes to Tickle Your Macabre Side

If you find these jokes funny, something is probably wrong with you!

I was digging in the garden and happened to find a chest with a lot of gold coins.
I wanted to run home to tell my wife about it.
Then I remembered why I was digging in the garden.

What's yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of children.

The doctor gave me one month to live, so I shot him with my gun.
The judge gave me 15 years.

What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't matter what you call him, anyway he won't come.

Cremation is my final hope for a smoking-hot body.

What's the last thing in a fly's head as it hits the windshield of a car going 100 mph?
It's behind.

What's worse than biting an apple and then discovering a worm?
Biting the apple, then discovering half a worm.

When ordering dinner at a restaurant, I asked the waiter how they prepared their chicken.
He explained.
"We just tell them they're going to die."

An apple a day keeps the doctor away only if you throw it hard enough.

Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where their home is.

Welcome back to Plastic Surgery Anonymous.
It's nice to see new faces here today!

Why can't you have a book on how to commit suicide in a library?
Because you wouldn't return it back.

What makes sad people jump?

I don't have any carbon footprint.
I drive everywhere.

I wished to die, but then I got a job.
Now I want to pass out.

What do you call a bacterial disease that is caused by two grizzlies?

My doctor told me to stop eating red meat,
so now I dye it orange.

Why are overweight babysitters an awful idea?
The babies always get crushed when they sit on them.

How do you stop a baby from choking?
Let go of his neck.

When I see the lovers' names written on a tree, I don't find it romantic or cute.
I find it weird how people would take knives on their dates.

I was shocked when I found out my toaster was not waterproof.

A dark joke is like food,
which many people don't get.

If you think I am joking about Alzheimer's,
forget it.

Where did Lucy go during the bombing?

It's important to have a perfect vocabulary.
If I had known to distinguish between anecdote and antidote, one of my good friends would still be alive.

You're not useless.
You can always be used as a bad example.

I have jokes about unemployed people,
but sadly, none work.

What did the frog say at his puppeteer's funeral?
Not a word.

Why makes this Joke funny?

The humor in these jokes stems from their dark, often morbid nature, juxtaposing serious, grim, or taboo topics with unexpected punchlines to create a stark contrast that can provoke laughter. Here are explanations for ten of these jokes that might need the most elucidation, focusing on why they might be considered funny within the context of dark humor:

  1. I was digging in the garden ...: This joke sets up a scenario that quickly turns from a typical treasure discovery story into a dark punchline about why the speaker was digging in the garden, implying they were burying their wife.
  2. What`s yellow and ...: This joke plays on the expectation of a light-hearted answer to a seemingly innocent question, only to deliver a shocking, dark punchline.
  3. The doctor gave me one month to live, so I shot him with my gun...: Here, the joke twists the expectation of a patient accepting a grim prognosis into an absurd overreaction to the diagnosis, with the legal consequences ironically extending far beyond the original death sentence.
  4. What do you call a dog ...: This joke uses misdirection by setting up for a punchline that seems like it will be a name, only to pivot to a literal interpretation of the dog`s inability to come when called, deriving humor from the bluntness of the observation.
  5. Cremation is ...: This joke plays on the dual meaning of "smoking-hot body" - both as a desirable physical attribute and literally becoming hot due to cremation, finding humor in the grim prospect of achieving an attractive trait through death.
  6. What`s the last thing to ...: The humor in this joke comes from the literal interpretation of a figurative expression, with the punchline providing a morbidly graphic image of the fly`s death.
  7. What`s worse than finding a worm ...: This joke plays on the revulsion of accidentally eating a worm, with the implication that finding half a worm means you`ve already eaten the other half, amplifying the disgust factor for comedic effect.
  8. When ordering dinner at ...: The humor here lies in the unexpected answer that personifies the chickens in a human-like situation, applying a serious concept (being informed of one`s imminent demise) to a mundane context, highlighting the absurdity of the situation.
  9. Why can`t orphans play ...: This joke uses a play on words linking the concept of "home" in baseball to the personal situation of orphans lacking a family home, drawing humor from the dark juxtaposition.
  10. Welcome back to Plastic ... : The humor stems from the literal and figurative interpretation of "seeing new faces" in the context of a plastic surgery support group, playing on the idea of changing one`s appearance so drastically as to be unrecognizable.

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Joke of the day - 28 Morbidly Amusing Dark Humor Jokes to Tickle Your Macabre Side

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