31 Dad Jokes to Start the Week with a Smile on Your Face
I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon.
I’ll let you know…
Is there anything worse than when it’s raining cats and dogs?
Yes! Hailing taxis.
I thought the dryer was shrinking my clothes.
Turns out it was the refrigerator all along.
I can tolerate algebra, maybe even a little calculus,
but geometry is where I draw the line.
If a child refuses to nap, are they guilty of resisting a rest?
Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
It’s OK, he woke up.
My manager told me to have a good day.
So I didn’t go into work.
Whoever stole my depression medication —
I hope you’re happy now.
I lost my job at the bank on my first day.
A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
Why did the drum go to bed?
It was beat.
What do you call a rude cow?
Beef jerky.
How does a penguin build his house?
Igloos it together.
Which bear is the most condescending?
A pan-duh!
Where do you learn to make ice cream?
Sundae school.
I’m afraid for the calendar.
Its days are numbered.
Have you ever had a bad sausage?
It’s the wurst.
What do you call a fish wearing a bow tie?
Sofishticated.
I once had a dream I was floating in an ocean of orange soda.
It was more of a Fanta sea.
My wife said I should do lunges to stay in shape.
That would be a big step forward.
I have a joke about chemistry, but I don’t think it will get a reaction.
I could tell a joke about pizza, but it’s a little cheesy.
I have a joke about construction, but I’m still working on it.
What’s the best kind of bird to work for at a construction company?
A crane.
I used to be addicted to soap, but I’m clean now.
I only know 25 letters of the alphabet.
I don’t know y.
I used to be a personal trainer.
Then I gave my too weak notice.
What’s the best way to watch a fly fishing tournament?
Live stream.
What did the buffalo say to his son when he dropped him off at school?
“Bison!”
What kind of music do chiropractors like?
Hip pop.
Two guys walked into a bar.
The third guy ducked.
It’s inappropriate to make a dad joke if you’re not a dad.
It’s a faux pa.
Why makes this Joke funny?
- I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon` I’ll let you know…
This joke plays on the classic "chicken and egg" causality dilemma, which asks which came first, the chicken or the egg` The humor lies in the modern twist of ordering them online to find out the answer`
- Whoever stole my depression medication — I hope you’re happy now`
This joke uses irony for its humor` Depression medication is meant to make someone feel happier or more stable, and the irony of hoping the thief is now happy because of the stolen medication is what makes it funny`
- Why did the drum go to bed? It was beat`
This is a pun` "Beat" can refer to both the action done to a drum and the state of being very tired`
- What do you call a rude cow? Beef jerky`
Another pun, playing on the dual meaning of "jerky" as both a type of meat and slang for someone who is unpleasant`
- How does a penguin build his house? Igloos it together`
This joke is funny because it uses a play on words, replacing "glues" with "igloos," which is both a structure associated with cold climates and sounds similar to the original word`
- Is there anything worse than when it’s raining cats and dogs? Yes! Hailing taxis`
The humor here comes from the play on the phrase "raining cats and dogs," which means a heavy rain, and the image of taxis literally hailing from the sky as if they were precipitation`
- I can tolerate algebra, maybe even a little calculus, but geometry is where I draw the line`
This joke is a pun on the phrase "draw the line," which means to set a limit` In geometry, drawing lines is a fundamental part of the subject`
- If a child refuses to nap, are they guilty of resisting a rest?
This pun plays on the homophones "rest" and "arrest," creating a humorous double entendre`
- I once had a dream I was floating in an ocean of orange soda` It was more of a Fanta sea`
This is a pun combining "Fanta," a brand of orange soda, with "fantasy," a word for a dream or imaginary scenario`
- Two guys walked into a bar` The third guy ducked`
This joke subverts the classic "walked into a bar" setup by adding an unexpected twist at the end, turning the setup into a literal rather than figurative scenario`
Joke of the day - 31 Dad Jokes to Start the Week with a Smile on Your Face
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