Nut Jokes, to celebrate National Nut Day
National Nut Day is celebrated annually on October 22. Celebrate it with some jokes!
What did one nut say to the nut it was chasing?
"I'm a cashew!"
Why did the nut go to the doctor?
It was feeling a little nutty.
What do you call a nut that sneezes?
A cashew!
How do you make a walnut laugh?
You crack it up!
Why did the peanut get in trouble?
It was acting like a real nutcase.
What did the pecan say to the walnut?
"We're friends because we're both nuts!"
Why are almonds always optimistic?
They always see the glass as half full of nuts.
What is a squirrel's favorite streaming service?
Nut-flix.
Why did the nut go to school?
To become a little smarter.
Why did the squirrel dismantle the clock?
To get to the nuts inside.
What did the nut exclaim when it sneezed?
"Cashew!"
Why did the nut blush?
Because it saw the salad dressing.
Why are nuts so bad at getting along?
They always drive each other nuts.
What do you call a nut in space?
An astro-nut!
Why was the peanut butter upset?
It was feeling a bit salty.
Why did the nut get a job?
It was out of cashew!
What did the nut say when it had a bad day?
"Oh, nuts!"
Why did the walnut win the race?
It was ahead of the pack.
What's a nut's favorite genre of music?
Rock 'n' roll!
Why did the nut go to the bank?
To cashew a check.
What do you call a nut with a hairy lip?
A pistachio!
What do you call a nut in space?
An astronaut!
What's the best way to catch an elephant?
Hide in the grass and pretend to be a peanut.
Where's the best place to find out facts about nuts?
The inter-nut!
What noise did the nut make when it sneezed?
Cashew!
What kind of spread does the Queen like the most?
Peanut butter!
What's the most valuable kind of nut?
A cashew!
What eats nuts and bolts?
A hungry squirrel!
When do peanuts make you feel good?
When they're complimentary!
Which nut wears a bra?
A chestnut!
How do you know if someone's lost their marbles?
They start playing with their nuts instead.
What's the most expensive nut?
An almond leg!
Which nuts are small, brown and hang from branches?
Monkey nuts!
What nuts can you wear on your feet?
Cashews!
Why did the squirrel sit in the same spot all winter?
He'd buried his nuts there.
Which nut cries the most?
An assaulted peanut!
What's the most common name for girl peanuts?
Michelle!
Did you hear the joke about the peanut, pistachio and cashew?
It was nut funny!
What did the nut chasing another nut say?
I'm going to cashew!
Why did the motorist spread peanut butter on the road?
So they'd have something to go with the traffic jam!
Why makes this Joke funny?
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"I`m a cashew!"
This joke is a pun on the word "cashew," which sounds like "catch you." The humor comes from the play on words where the nut chasing another says "I`m a cashew," meaning "I`m going to catch you."
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"Feeling a little nutty."
"Feeling nutty" is an expression meaning acting crazy or eccentric. Since "nutty" also refers to something related to nuts, the joke plays on the double meaning of the word.
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"A cashew!"
The word "cashew" sounds like "a-choo," which is the sound associated with sneezing. The humor arises from this phonetic similarity.
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"You crack it up!"
"Crack up" means to laugh uncontrollably. Since you physically "crack" a walnut to open it, the joke cleverly combines the two meanings.
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"A real nutcase."
"Nutcase" is slang for someone behaving irrationally. Since a peanut is literally a nut, the term "nutcase" serves as a pun.
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"We`re both nuts!"
This joke personifies nuts, emphasizing that pecans and walnuts are both nuts, hence they are friends. It`s a simple, lighthearted play on their shared identity.
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"Glass half full of nuts."
This joke twists the saying "seeing the glass half full," which describes optimism. By adding "of nuts," it makes the expression literal for almonds.
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"Nut-flix."
A pun on "Netflix," replacing "Net" with "Nut" because squirrels are associated with nuts. The humor comes from this clever word substitution.
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"Become a little smarter."
This joke plays on the word "smarter," suggesting the nut wants to gain intelligence. However, it`s a bit of a stretch and might not have a strong pun, making it less effective than the others.
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"To get to the nuts inside."
Clocks often contain "nuts" (small fasteners). The joke imagines a squirrel taking apart a clock to get to these "nuts," playing on the double meaning of the word.
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"Cashew!"
Similar to joke 3, "Cashew" sounds like "a-choo," the sound of a sneeze. The humor is in the pun based on sound-alike words.
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"Saw the salad dressing."
"Dressing" can mean putting on clothes. The nut "blushed" because it saw the salad "dressing" (getting dressed), implying a humorous misunderstanding.
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"Drive each other nuts."
"Drive someone nuts" means to annoy or irritate them. Since they are nuts, the phrase becomes a pun, playing on both meanings.
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"An astro-nut!"
A pun on the word "astronaut," replacing "naut" (which means sailor) with "nut." The joke humorously imagines a nut floating in space.
Joke of the day - Nut Jokes, to celebrate National Nut Day
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