Computer humor...

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Tech Support: 'How much free space do you have on your hard drive?'
Customer: 'Well, my wife likes to get up there on that Internet, and she downloaded ten hours of free space. Is that enough?'

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Tech Support: 'Ok Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen.

Now type the letter 'P' to bring up the Program Manager.'

Customer: 'I don't have a 'P'.'

Tech Support: 'On your keyboard, Bob.'

Customer: 'What do you mean?'

Tech Support: ''P' on your keyboard, Bob.'

Customer: 'I'm not going to do that!'

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Overheard in a computer shop:

Customer: 'I'd like a mouse pad, please.'

Salesperson: 'Certainly sir, we've got a large variety.'

Customer: 'But will they be compatible with my computer?'

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I once received a fax with a note on the bottom to fax the document back to the sender when I was finished with it, because he needed to keep it.

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Customer: 'Can you copy the Internet for me on this diskette?'

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I work for a local ISP. Frequently we receive phone calls that go something like this:

Customer: 'Hi. Is this the Internet?'

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Some people pay for their online services with checks made payable to 'The Internet.'

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Customer: 'So that'll get me connected to the Internet, right?'

Tech Support: 'Yeah.'

Customer: 'And that's the latest version of the Internet, right?

Tech Support: 'Uhh...uh...uh...yeah.'

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Tech Support: 'All right...now double-click on the File Manager Icon.'

Customer: 'That's why I hate this Windows...because of the icons. I'm a Protestant, and I don't believe in icons.'

Tech Support: 'Well, that's just an industry term sir. I don't believe it was meant to-'

Customer: 'I don't care about any 'Industry Terms'. I don't believe in icons.'

Tech Support: 'Well...why don't you click on the 'little picture' of a file cabinet...is 'little picture' ok?'

Customer: [click]

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Customer: 'My computer crashed!'

Tech Support: 'It crashed?'

Customer: 'Yeah, it won't let me play my game.'

Tech Support: 'All right, hit Control-Alt-Delete to reboot.'

Customer: 'No, it didn't crash-it crashed.'

Tech Support: 'Huh?'

Customer: 'I crashed my game. That's what I said before. Now it doesn't work.'

(Turned out, the user was playing Lunar Lander and crashed his spaceship.)

Tech Support: 'Click on 'File,' then 'New Game.''

Customer: [pause] 'Wow! How'd you learn how to do that?'