Vending Machine

After many unhappy replies from our current
vending service we decided that what they
really needed was a different form letter
that was more closely tied to their true
feeling:
 BFD Vending Service
Thank you for your inquiry/comments/complaints
about our vending service.
___ We are aware that _____________ machine
has not been stocked in _____ days.
 __ We are waiting for the weekend.
 __ We are out of items that have expired.
 __ We're busy, don't bother us about this.
 __ We don't care.
___ We are aware that the price for _______
seems high at $_______ but,
 __ we have to make a living.
 __ we use an algorithm 3*retail+your_age.
 __ we charge others more.
 __ we adjust it to allow for spoilage.
___ We are aware that
 __ the sodas are warm
 __ the milk is curdled
 __ sandwiches are stale
 __ gum is hard
 __ candy bars are petrified
 and assure you that that is
 the way it is supposed to be, really.
___ We understand that
 __ the bill changer can't,
 __ coin return won't,
 __ product selection doesn't,
 and believe that
 __ you should relax, it all evens out.
 __ learn to live with it.
 __ bring in your own change next time.
 __ be happy it gave you anything.
 __ quit eating so much junk food.
Thank you and Happy Eating.