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Jokes of the day for Friday, 14 March 2014

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Friday, 14 March 2014

“A high-class Lakota ...

“A high-class Lakota cook is a Sioux chef.”

#joke #short
  • Currently 5.50/10

Rating: 5.5/10 (8)

Doctor jokes-Hiding a $10 bill

Q. How does one hide a $10 bill from a General Surgeon?
A. One needs to hide it in the patient's bills.

Q. How does one hide a $10 bill from an Orthopedic Surgeon?
A. One needs to hide it in a textbook.

Q. How does one hide a $10 bill from a Plastic Surgeon?
A. That's a tricky one - one can't.
#joke #doctor
Joke | Source: Really Funny Jokes - Really Funny jokes, adult jokes, Good jokes, short funny jokes, teacher jokes, affair jokes, kids jokes, doctor jokes, funny pictures
  • Currently 5.38/10

Rating: 5.4/10 (8)

SLIDESHOW #21 - Funny Photo Slideshow

Just a minute

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on.

#joke #short
  • Currently 6.50/10

Rating: 6.5/10 (6)

Funny video of the day - Guinea Pig vs Bag of Popcorn

Guinea Pig vs Bag of Popcorn - Funny guinea pig goes nuts while eating popcorn - link to page video is posted initially.
  • Currently 5.91/10

Rating: 5.9/10 (11)

Fighting Back...

HUSBAND: When I get mad at you, you never fight back. How do you control your anger?

WIFE: I clean the toilet.

HUSBAND: How does that help?

WIFE: I use your toothbrush.

#joke #short
  • Currently 5.44/10

Rating: 5.4/10 (9)

Funny Photo of the day - Future plummer

Future plummer - Needs lots of practice | Source : Jokes of The Day - By Jokes of the day visitor
  • Currently 3.56/10

Rating: 3.6/10 (9)

Hand Me Downs

Q: What do you say to a man with five penises?

A: Your jeans fit like a glove.

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 06 January 2014
  • Currently 3.88/10

Rating: 3.9/10 (8)

Sticky Hair?

Rabbit is hopping along the forest one day, when he comes upon Bear taking a dump.

Bear says, "Rabbit, do you have a problem with shit sticking to your fur?"

Rabbit replies, "No Bear, I don't. Why do you ask?"

So Bear grabs Rabbit and wipes his ass with him.

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 18 July 2012
  • Currently 4.17/10

Rating: 4.2/10 (42)

When Chuck Norris watches a po...

When Chuck Norris watches a pot, it boils immediately.
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 14 October 2011
  • Currently 3.28/10

Rating: 3.3/10 (46)

Pun With Monks

Lost on a rainy night, a nun stumbles across a monastery and requests shelter there. Fortunately, she's just in time for dinner and was treated to the best fish and chips she's ever had.
After dinner, she goes into the kitchen to thank the chefs.
She is met by two brothers, "Hello, I'm Brother Michael, and this is Brother Charles."
"I'm very pleased to meet you. I just wanted to thank you for a wonderful dinner. The fish and chips were the best I've ever tasted. Out of curiosity, who cooked what?"
Brother Charles replied, "Well, I'm the fish friar."
She turns the other brother and says, "Then you must be...?"
"Yes, I'm the chip monk."

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 14 March 2011
  • Currently 5.11/10

Rating: 5.1/10 (37)

There Is A Blind Man Here To See You


A nun in the convent walked into the bathroom where mother superior was taking a shower. "There is a blind man to see you," she says. "Well, if he is a blind man, than it does not matter if I'm in the shower. Send him in."
The blind man walks into the bathroom, and mother superior starts to tell him how much she appreciates him working at the convent for them. She goes on and on and 10 minutes later the man interrupts: "That's nice and all, ma'am, but you can put your clothes on now. Where do you want me to put these blinds?

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 27 January 2010
  • Currently 4.83/10

Rating: 4.8/10 (6)

Confucius Say ...

Confucius say, "When you are angry at neighbor, walk a mile in his shoes. Then you will be a mile away from him, and you will have his shoes!"

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 14 March 2010
  • Currently 5.72/10

Rating: 5.7/10 (46)

Absolutely naked woman enters ...

Absolutely naked woman enters the pub. Barman looks at her very attentively.
Woman: Hey, what's up? Haven't you ever seen naked woman?

Barman: Well, yes I have... I'm only interested - where will you take your cash from?
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 14 March 2010
  • Currently 6.05/10

Rating: 6.1/10 (37)

Pun With Monks

Lost on a rainy night, a nun stumbles across a monastery and requests shelter there. Fortunately, she's just in time for dinner and was treated to the best fish and chips she's ever had.
After dinner, she goes into the kitchen to thank the chefs.
She is met by two brothers, "Hello, I'm Brother Michael, and this is Brother Charles."
"I'm very pleased to meet you. I just wanted to thank you for a wonderful dinner. The fish and chips were the best I've ever tasted. Out of curiosity, who cooked what?"
Brother Charles replied, "Well, I'm the fish friar."
She turns the other brother and says, "Then you must be...?"
"Yes, I'm the chip monk."

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 14 March 2011
  • Currently 5.11/10

Rating: 5.1/10 (37)

A blonde was driving down the ...

A blonde was driving down the road and she looks up and she sees a tree so she swerves to the left.
The tree is still nfront of her so she swerves to the right, this time her car rolls into the ditch.
When the Police Officer came to the scene of the accident the blonde told the Police Officer about the tree that was in front of her. The officer kindly explained that the tree was the green air freshener hanging off her rear view mirror.
#joke #blonde
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 14 March 2009
  • Currently 4.42/10

Rating: 4.4/10 (36)

Wading across the river...

Bill Clinton, Al Gore and George W. Bush died and found themselves standing on the other side of the Jordan River looking across at the Promised Land.

The Archangel Michael was standing on the other side and shouted over to the three surprised Americans, "Contrary to what you have been taught, each of you will have to wade across the Jordan River."

As Michael saw their perplexed looks, he assured them by saying, "Don't worry. You will sink only proportionally, according to your sins on earth. The more you have sinned, the more you will sink into the water."

The three American sages of political lore looked at one another, trying to determine who would be the first brave soul to cross the Jordan River.

Finally, George W. Bush volunteered to go first. Slowly he began to wade out into the river, and slowly the water began to get higher and higher, reaching to his waist. George began to sweat, thinking of all his sins that were coming back to haunt him. He was beginning to wonder if he would ever see the other side. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, he began to emerge on the river's bank.

As he ascended to the other side, he looked behind him to see which one of the other brave souls was going next. A shock of surprise registered on his face, as he saw Al Gore almost in the middle of the river, and the water was only up to his ankles.

He turned to Michael and exclaimed, "I know Al Gore. Al Gore is a friend of mine, and he has sinned much, much more than that!"

Before the Archangel Michael could reply, Al Gore shouted back, "I'm standing on Clinton's shoulders!"

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 14 March 2009
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (18)

Advice from lawyers

George and Lenny decide to cross North America in a hot air balloon. However, neither were particularly experienced balloonists, and Lenny's mind quickly drifted from navigation to thoughts of how clouds look like cuddly little bunny rabbits. Upon realizing that they were lost, George declared, "Lenny -- we are going to have to lose some altitude so we can figure out where we are."

George lets some hot air out of the balloon, which slowly descended below the clouds, but he still couldn't tell where they were. Far below, they could see a man on the ground. George lowered the balloon, to ask the man their location.

When they were low enough, George called down to the man, "Hey, can you tell us where we are?" The man on the ground yelledback, "You're in a balloon, about 100 feet up in the air."

George Called down to the man, "You must be a lawyer." "Gee, George," Lenny replied, "How can you tell?" George answered, "Because the advice he gave us is 100% accurate, and is completely useless".

The man called back up to the balloon, "You must be a client." George yelled back, "Why do you say that?" "Well," the man replied, "you don't know where you are, or where you are going. You got into your predicament through a lack of planning, and could have avoided it by asking for help before you acted. You expect me to provide an instant remedy. The fact is you are in the exact same position you were in before we met, but now it is somehow my fault."

#joke #lawyer
  • Currently 5.40/10

Rating: 5.4/10 (5)

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