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Jokes of the day for Wednesday, 21 June 2017

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Wednesday, 21 June 2017

Anyone who plays heavy metal a

Anyone who plays heavy metal at work is office rocker.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 6.17/10

Rating: 6.2/10 (6)

Police Officer On Trial

A police officer was being cross-examined by a defense attorney during a felony trial.
The lawyer was trying to undermine the police officer's credibility ...
Q: 'Officer --- did you see my client fleeing the scene?'
A: 'No sir. But I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender, running several blocks away.'
Q: 'Officer, who provided this description?'
A: 'The officer who responded to the scene.'
Q: 'A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?'
A: 'Yes, sir. With my life.'
Q: 'With your life? Let me ask you this then officer. Do you have a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?'
A: 'Yes sir, we do!'
Q: 'And do you have a locker in the room?'
A: 'Yes, sir, I do.'
Q: 'And do you have a lock on your locker?'
A: 'Yes, sir.'
Q: 'Now, why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with these same officers?'
A: 'You see, sir, we share the building with the court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room.'
The courtroom EXPLODED with laughter, and a prompt recess was called.

#joke #lawyer
Joke | Source: Friars Club - For over 25 years the Sunshine Committee has been providing entertainment, companionship and love to children's and senior citizens centers in the NY area.
  • Currently 7.09/10

Rating: 7.1/10 (11)

SLIDESHOW #9 - Funny Photo Slideshow

“Photos used to sell

“Photos used to sell rice are usually grainy.”

#joke #short
  • Currently 6.00/10

Rating: 6.0/10 (8)

Sounds more like a nightmare...

An older couple wakes up in the morning and the husband looks over at his wife and says, " Wow! You wouldn't believe the dream I had..."

The wife replies, "Yes, go on tell me."

So the husband says "I had a dream that you left me after 20 years of being married."

The wife says, "Oh, it sounds more like a nightmare."

The husband says, "No, I am sure it was a dream."

#joke
  • Currently 7.62/10

Rating: 7.6/10 (21)

 A Collection Of Insults

A brief synopsis... When you're at a loss for words but want to tell someone that he or she is stupid, remember some these quips from our collection here at Aha! Jokes.


Takes his imagination out for a walk and ends up being dragged around the block by it.
Talks to plants on their own level.
Team player... No chance he'll develop a personality on his own.
Teflon brain -- nothing sticks. -- Lilly Tomlin
The best part of him ran down his mother's legs. -- Jackie Gleason
The butter slipped off his noodle.
The cheese slid off his cracker.
The definitive answer is: Her glass is half empty.
The fan is working but the freon's leaked out.
The going got weird, and he turned pro.
The heater's plugged in but the rheostat's shot.
The perfect personality to write software manuals.
The space between his ears powers vacuum pumps.
The spit valve's fallen off his trumpet again.
The twinkle in his eyes is actually the sun shining between his ears.
#joke
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 2.33/10

Rating: 2.3/10 (3)

Deep within a forest, a little

Deep within a forest, a little turtle began to climb a tree...
After hours of effort, he reached the top, jumped into the air waving his front legs and crashed to the ground. After recovering, he slowly climbed the tree again, jumped, and fell to the ground. The turtle tried again and again, while a couple of birds sitting on a branch watched his sad efforts.
Finally, the female bird turned to her mate.
"Dear," she chirped, "I think it's time to tell him he's adopted."
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 22 October 2015
  • Currently 6.71/10

Rating: 6.7/10 (7)

roNG>Would you like to have

roNG>Would you like to have the Joke of the Day on your site? One line of HTML will put an automatically updated Joke of the Day wherever you like. For more information,
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 08 September 2015
  • Currently 3.00/10

Rating: 3.0/10 (2)

A biology teacher wished to de...

A biology teacher wished to demonstrate to his students the harmful effects of alcohol on living organisms. For his experiment, he showed them a beaker with pond water in which there was a thriving civilization of worms. When he added some alcohol into the beaker the worms doubled-up and died.
"Now," he said,” what do you learn from this?"
An eager student gave his answer.
"Well the answer is obvious," he said " if you drink alcohol, you'll never have worms."
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 21 June 2015
  • Currently 8.67/10

Rating: 8.7/10 (51)

Wet pussy

One spring day, a fish was swimming about a foot below the surface of a lake and saw a fly hovering just out of striking distance.

The fish said to itself, "If that fly comes six inches closer, I'll jump up and have myself a meal." Just then, a bear on the shore of the lake looked up and said to itself, " If that fly gets any closer to that fish, the fish will jump up, and I'll catch the fish and have myself a meal."

As luck would have it, a hunter saw what was happening. He thought to himself, "If that fly moves closer to the fish, the fish will jump, the bear will lean over to grab the fish, and I'll shoot the bear."

Just then, a rat was standing behind the hunter saying to itself," If that fly moves closer to the fish, the fish will jump, the bear will lean over to grab the fish, the hunter will lean over to shoot the bear, and I'll grab the sandwich from the back pocket of the hunter.

However, unbeknownst to the rat, a cat was observing everything and thinking, "If that fly moves closer to the fish, the fish will jump, the bear will grab the fish, the hunter will shoot the bear, the rat will grab the sandwich, and I'll snatch the rat."

At that very moment, the fly dropped a few inches, the fish grabbed the fly, the bear grabbed the fish, the hunter shot the bear, the rat grabbed the sandwich, the cat jumped, missed the rat and landed in the lake.

The moral of this story is:

If the fly drops six inches the pussy will get wet.

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 21 June 2010
  • Currently 5.08/10

Rating: 5.1/10 (51)

A boy was teaching a girl arit...

A boy was teaching a girl arithmetic, he said it was his mission. He kissed her once; he kissed her twice and said, "Now that's addition." In silent satisfaction, she sweetly gave the kisses back and said, "Now that's subtraction." Then he kissed her, she kissed him, without an explanation. And both together smiled and said, "That's multiplication." Then her Dad appeared upon the scene and made a quick decision. He kicked that boy three blocks away and said, "That's long division!"
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 21 June 2010
  • Currently 6.37/10

Rating: 6.4/10 (38)

Proud Of Daddy

Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging about their fathers.

The first boy says, "My dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, and they give him $50."

The second boy says, "That's nothing. My dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a song, and they give him $100."

The third boy says, "I got you both beat. My dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, calls it a sermon, and it takes eight people to collect all the money!"

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 21 June 2011
  • Currently 6.47/10

Rating: 6.5/10 (36)

You look familiar

You look familiar, did I see you in the zoo parade ?

I think you may have seen me at the zoo, I was the one who was feeding you peanuts.

I understand that's Animal Magic is your favorite show because so many of your relatives are on it.

I know your trying to insult me, but I know you like me. I can see your tail wagging.

That's funny you calling me an animal, and it's you that has the webbed feet.

You look familiar too, but that's not surprising, I collect bugs for a hobby.

You look familiar too, have I ever seen you hanging by the tail from the tree in my garden ?

Didn't I dissect you in a biology class one time?

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 21 June 2012
  • Currently 3.52/10

Rating: 3.5/10 (31)

A man has a racehorse that nev...

A man has a racehorse that never won a race. The man says in disgust, "Horse, you win today or you pull a milk wagon tomorrow morning."
The starting gate opens and all the horses take off running except for the man's horse which is lying there asleep on the track.
He kicks the horse and asks, "Why are you sleeping?"
The sleepy horse raises his head and says, "I have to get up at 3 o'clock in the morning."
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 07 June 2016
  • Currently 7.70/10

Rating: 7.7/10 (10)

An inebriated man and his drun...

An inebriated man and his drunken friend were sitting at a bar.
"Do you know what time it is?" asked the drunk.
"Sure" said the man.
"Thanks" said the drunk.
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 28 November 2009
  • Currently 5.89/10

Rating: 5.9/10 (9)

Small wooden ball at barbershop

A man enters a barbershop for a shave. While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the problems he has getting a close shave around the cheeks.

"I have just the thing," says the barber taking a small wooden ball from a nearby drawer. "Just place this between your cheek and gum."

The client places the ball in his mouth and the barber proceeds with the closest shave the man has ever experienced. After a few strokes, the client asks in garbled speech, "And what if I swallow it?"

"No problem," says the barber. "Just bring it back tomorrow like everyone else does."

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 05 April 2015
  • Currently 8.36/10

Rating: 8.4/10 (14)

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