Jokes of the day for Wednesday, 24 June 2020
Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Wednesday, 24 June 2020 |
Fast birthday party
![Fast birthday party](/jokes-archive/2020/06/24/Fast-birthday-party.jpg.400.jpg)
My wife and I just celebrated her 32nd birthday yesterday.
It was the fastest birthday party we’ve ever had.
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If you don't get it, read it out loud ... several times if needed.
Gave a bum five whole dollars
![Gave a bum five whole dollars](/jokes-archive/2020/06/24/Gave-a-bum-five-whole-dollars.jpg.400.jpg)
A woman was chatting with her next-door neighbor. "I feel really good today. I started out this morning with an act of unselfish generosity. I gave a five dollar bill to a bum."
"You gave a bum five whole dollars? That's a lot of money to just give away. What did you husband say about it?"
"Oh, he thought it was the proper thing to do. He said, 'Thanks.'"
if my bowels had moved
“When the hospital nurse asked me if my bowels had moved, I assured her that they had come with me as I headed to the toilet.”
Tailor-made suit
![Tailor-made suit](/jokes-archive/2020/06/24/Tailor-made-suit.jpg.400.jpg)
A young banker decided to get his first tailor-made suit. So he went tothe finest tailor in town and got measured for a suit. A week later hewent in for his first fitting. He put on the suit and he looked fabulous,he felt that in this suit he can do business.
As he was preening himself in front of the mirror he reached down to puthis hands in the pockets and to his surprise he noticed that there were nopockets. He mentioned this to the tailor who asked him, "Didn't you tellme you were a banker?"
The young man answered, "Yes, I did."
To this the tailor said, "Whoever heard of a banker with his hands in hisown pockets?"
Some Sort of Game
My wife said last night: "You treat our marriage like it's some sort of game."
Unfortunately, this cost her 12 points and a bonus chance.
Whats My Name?
![Whats My Name?](/jokes-archive/2017/07/07/Whats-My-Name-3F.jpg.400.jpg)
The manager of a large office noticed a new man one day and told him to come into his office. "What's your name?" he asked the new guy.
"John," the new guy replied.
The manager scowled, "Look... I don't know what kind of a namby-pamby place you worked before, but I don't call anyone by their first name. It breeds familiarity and that leads to a breakdown in authority. I refer to my employees by their last name only ... Smith, Jones, Baker ... That's all. I am to be referred to only as Mr. Robertson. Now that we got that straight, what is your last name?"
The new guy sighed, "Darling. My name is John Darling."
"Okay John, the next thing I want to tell you is . . . "
Crocodile Is Longer
Prove that the crocodile is longer than it is wide.
Lemma 1. The crocodile is longer than it is green: Let's look at the crocodile. It is long on the top and on the bottom, but it is green only on the top. Therefore, the crocodile is longer than it is green.
Lemma 2. The crocodile is greener than it is wide: Let's look at the crocodile. It is green along its length and width, but it is wide only along its width. Therefore, the crocodile is greener than it is wide.
From Lemma 1 and Lemma 2 we conclude that the crocodile is longer than it is wide.
Every time an Indian walks int...
Every time an Indian walks into the chief's teepee he sees that the chief is masturbating. They finally realize this is a serious problem, so they fix him up with a nice woman, and she starts living with him in his teepee.One day, one of the Indians walks into to chief's teepee and there's the chief masturbating again. He says, "Chief, what are you doing? We fix you up with a beautiful woman."
The chief says, "Her arm get tired."
vampire lesbians
What did one lesbian vampire say to the other?. Same time next month?.Chuck Norris can win at solita...
Chuck Norris can win at solitaire with only 18 cards.12- Pack
![12- Pack](/jokes-archive/2010/06/24/12-Pack.jpg.400.jpg)
The strong young man at the co...
![The strong young man at the co...](/jokes-archive/2010/06/24/The-strong-young-man-at-the-co-.jpg.400.jpg)
Hugs are powerful
![Hugs are powerful](/jokes-archive/2015/09/13/Hugs-are-powerful.jpg.400.jpg)