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Jokes of the day for Sunday, 14 March 2021

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Sunday, 14 March 2021

A man walks up to the drugstor

A man walks up to the drugstore counter and asks for some condoms. The man behind the counter tells him to go see Edna in aisle 4.
So the man finds Edna. Edna grabs him by the crotch, then gets on the PA system and says, "Medium condom. Medium condom."
The man is very embarrassed, but goes to the counter to get his condoms.
Later, a second man goes up to the counter to get some condoms. The druggist tells him to go see Edna in aisle 4.
Same thing happens, Edna grabs his crotch, gets on the PA and says, "Large condom, this man needs a large condom."
The man is quite pleased, and goes to pick up his condoms.
Next a teenager goes into the drugstore to buy some condoms for the very first time. He's told to go see Edna is aisle 4.
Edna grabs his crotch, gets on the PA and says, "Clean-up in aisle 4, clean-up in aisle 4."
#joke
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 3.86/10

Rating: 3.9/10 (14)

I Don't Want Any Kids

I had a vasectomy because I didn't want any kids...
When I got home, they were still there.

#joke #short
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 6.80/10

Rating: 6.8/10 (10)

Bill, wake up!

Bill & Hillary Clinton were sleeping one night at the White House. Hillary wakes up and starts shaking Bill to wake him up. "Bill, Bill wake up."

Bill stays sleeping. Hillary continues, "Bill, Bill wake up."

Bill finally wakes up and says, "What do you want?"

Hillary responds, "I have to go use the bathroom."

To which Bill says, "Please tell me you didn't wake me up just to tell me you have to go to the bathroom."

Hillary says, "No, I just wanted to tell you to save my spot."

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 01 April 2015
  • Currently 7.06/10

Rating: 7.1/10 (17)

I believe that earlier this ye

I believe that earlier this year the US Postal Service also issued a set ofstamps featuring american racehorses.
This must be one of the great ironies of the horse racing industry. If ahorse wins its races it gets put on the front of a postage stamp. If itloses it gets put on the back!
#joke #short #animal #horse
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 14 March 2015
  • Currently 1.57/10

Rating: 1.6/10 (7)

Confucius Say ...

Confucius say, "When you are angry at neighbor, walk a mile in his shoes. Then you will be a mile away from him, and you will have his shoes!"

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 14 March 2010
  • Currently 5.90/10

Rating: 5.9/10 (48)

How the diet going?

"How the diet going?"
"Not good, I had eggs for breakfast."
"Scrambled?"
"No, chocolate."
#joke #short #food #breakfast #egg #chocolate
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 14 March 2017
  • Currently 8.21/10

Rating: 8.2/10 (43)

Absolutely naked woman enters ...

Absolutely naked woman enters the pub. Barman looks at her very attentively.
Woman: Hey, what's up? Haven't you ever seen naked woman?

Barman: Well, yes I have... I'm only interested - where will you take your cash from?
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 14 March 2010
  • Currently 6.26/10

Rating: 6.3/10 (39)

Pun With Monks

Lost on a rainy night, a nun stumbles across a monastery and requests shelter there. Fortunately, she's just in time for dinner and was treated to the best fish and chips she's ever had.
After dinner, she goes into the kitchen to thank the chefs.
She is met by two brothers, "Hello, I'm Brother Michael, and this is Brother Charles."
"I'm very pleased to meet you. I just wanted to thank you for a wonderful dinner. The fish and chips were the best I've ever tasted. Out of curiosity, who cooked what?"
Brother Charles replied, "Well, I'm the fish friar."
She turns the other brother and says, "Then you must be...?"
"Yes, I'm the chip monk."

#joke #animal #fish #food #dinner
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 14 March 2011
  • Currently 5.24/10

Rating: 5.2/10 (38)

A blonde was driving down the ...

A blonde was driving down the road and she looks up and she sees a tree so she swerves to the left.
The tree is still nfront of her so she swerves to the right, this time her car rolls into the ditch.
When the Police Officer came to the scene of the accident the blonde told the Police Officer about the tree that was in front of her. The officer kindly explained that the tree was the green air freshener hanging off her rear view mirror.
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 14 March 2009
  • Currently 4.42/10

Rating: 4.4/10 (36)

I recently had a visitor from...

I recently had a visitor from the state of Texas. For three days all I heard from him was "In Texas we have the best this, the largest that, the fastest that," etc. It eventually became very annoying.
Being from Niagra Falls, I thought I could outdo him by showing him the "Mighty Niagara", knowing there was nothing in Texas that could compare to this "Wonder of Water and Power".
While standing at the brink watching millions of gallons of water rushing over, I noticed the look of awe in his eyes. It was then I asked him: "Do you have anything like this in Texas?"
He waited a moment before he answered: "No, but we have a plumber that could fix it."
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 02 February 2016
  • Currently 6.71/10

Rating: 6.7/10 (7)

How many people yelled into this door?

How many people yelled into this door? (April Fools' Day pranks)
#joke #short #aprilfoolsday #prank
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 15 March 2016
  • Currently 7.70/10

Rating: 7.7/10 (10)

Fishing in a puddle

The rain was pouring and there was a big puddle in front of the pub.

A ragged old man was standing there with a rod and hanging a string into the puddle.

A tipsy- looking, curious gentleman came over to him and asked what he was doing.

'Fishing,' the old man said simply.

'Poor old fool,' the gentleman thought and he invited the ragged old man to a drink in the pub.

As he felt he should start some conversation while they were sipping their whiskey, the gentleman asked,

'And how many have you caught?'

‘You're the eighth.‘

Found on Tell Funny Stories - A willing victim letting himself be caught joke, posted October 24, 2010

#joke #drinks #whiskey #sport #fishing
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 15 August 2019
  • Currently 8.72/10

Rating: 8.7/10 (18)

Why do we close our eyes when we pray, cry, kiss, dream?

Why do we close our eyes when we pray, cry, kiss, dream?
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 02 December 2015
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (1)

Not everybody has to like me

Not everybody has to like me. I can't force people to have a good taste.
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 30 April 2016
  • Currently 5.33/10

Rating: 5.3/10 (3)

International Day of the Tropics Joke

June 29th is International Day of the Tropics! Find jokes about it!

Why don't scientists trust atoms when vacationing in the tropics?
Because they make up everything, even the "sandy" beaches!

I once spent ten years marooned on a tropical shore...
I lived on nothing but coconuts and seafood. I fashioned sandals out of leaves, a hut out of grass and sticks, and I kept myself healthy with wild plants.
One day I was scouring the beach for copper wire to build the radio I was working on, and I came across a small white spheroid about 2" in diameter that I had difficulty biting.
The mystery was solved when a man stepped out of the trees and said, "That's mine." Astonished,
I asked him, "Where did you come from?"
He said, "From the golf resort just the other side of those trees."

#internationaldayofthetropics #dayofthetropics

#joke #fruit #coconut #sport #golf
Joke | Source: Hand picked jokes - Daily Jokes hand picked from various locations
  • Currently 3.82/10

Rating: 3.8/10 (11)

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