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Jokes of the day for Sunday, 26 March 2023

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Sunday, 26 March 2023

Preach A Good Sermon

The preacher's 5-year-old daughter noticed that her father always paused and bowed his head for a moment before starting his sermon. One day, she asked him why.
"Well, Honey," he began, proud that his daughter was so observant of his messages, "I'm asking the Lord to help me preach a good sermon."
"How come He doesn't answer it?" she asked.

#joke #food #honey #father
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 9.30/10

Rating: 9.3/10 (20)

Talking Frog

A guy is 86 years old and loves to fish. He was sitting in his boat the other day when he heard a voice say,
"Pick me up."
He looked around and couldn't see any one. He thought he was dreaming when he heard the voice say again,
"Pick me up." He looked in the water and there, floating on the top was a frog.
The man said, "Are you talking to me?"
The frog said, "Yes, I'm talking to you. Pick me up.
Then, kiss me and I'll turn into the most beautiful woman you have ever seen.
I'll make sure that all your friends are envious and jealous because you will have me as your bride."
The man looked at the frog for a short time, reached over, picked it up carefully, and placed it in his front breast pocket.
Then the frog said, "What, are you nuts? Didn't you hear what I said?
I said kiss me and I will be your beautiful bride."
He opened his pocket, looked at the frog and said,
"Nah, at my age I'd rather have a talking frog."   

#joke #animal #frog #fish #wedding #bride
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Originally taken from site that work no more - Get Frank - NZ's Online Men's Lifestyle Magazine for Fashion, Health, Lifestyle, Recreation Articles & Reviews, Funny jokes and photos updated daily
  • Currently 7.44/10

Rating: 7.4/10 (9)

If you don’t have anything nice to say…

An aspiring Yogi wanted to find a Guru. He went to an Ashram and his preceptor told him, "You can stay here but we have one important rule: all students observe Mouna or a vow of silence. You will be allowed to speak in 12 years." After practicing for 12 long years, the day came when the student could say his one thing or ask his one question.He said: "The bed is too hard."He kept going for another 12 years of austere discipline, meditation and silence and finally got the opportunity to speak again. He said: "The food is not good."Twelve more years of hard work and he got to speak again. Here are his words after 36 years of practice: "I quit."His Guru quickly answered: "Good, all you have been doing anyway is complaining."
#joke #food
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 09 November 2022
  • Currently 6.71/10

Rating: 6.7/10 (7)

I'm the greatest hitter in the world...

A little boy was overheard talking to himself as he strutted through the backyard, wearing his baseball cap and toting a ball and bat.

"I'm the greatest hitter in the world," he announced. Then, he tossed the ball into the air, swung at it, and missed. "Strike One!" he yelled.

Undaunted, he picked up the ball and said again, "I'm the greatest hitter in the world!" He tossed the ball into the air. When it came down, he swung again and missed. "Strike two!" he cried.

The boy then paused a moment to examine his bat and ball carefully. He spit on his hands and rubbed them together. He straightened his cap and said once more, "I'm the greatest hitter in the world!" Again, he tossed the ball up in the air and swung at it. He missed. "Strike three!"

"Wow!" he exclaimed. "I'm the greatest pitcher in the world!"

#joke #animal #bat #sport #baseball
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 12 April 2017
  • Currently 8.05/10

Rating: 8.0/10 (21)

Inflation in China is

Inflation in China is yuan big problem.
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 10 June 2015
  • Currently 2.00/10

Rating: 2.0/10 (4)

Animal Orgasms

A farmer and his wife were lying in bed one evening; she was knitting, he was reading the latest issue of Animal Husbandry. He looks up from the page and says to her,

"Did you know that humans are the only species in which the female achieves orgasm?"

She looks at him wistfully, smiles, and replies, "Oh yeah? Why don't you prove it."

He frowns for a moment, then says, "Okay."

He then gets up and walks out, leaving his wife with a confused look on her face.

About a half an hour later, he returns all tired and sweaty and proclaims, "Well I'm sure the cow and sheep didn't, but the way that pig's always squealing, how can you tell?"

#joke #animal #sheep #cow
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 26 March 2011
  • Currently 4.95/10

Rating: 4.9/10 (55)

A man walks into a bar and say...

A man walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I bet you fifty dollars that I can bite my right eye." The bartender says, "Yeah, right! I've never seen anyone do that!" So the man takes out his glass eye and bites it.
The angry bartender pays the man his fifty dollars and the man walks away. He comes back half an hour later and says, "I bet you fifty dollars I can bite my left eye." Now the bartender becomes really skeptical. She says, "I just saw you walk in here -- you can't be blind!" So he takes out his fake teeth and bites his left eye. The bartender pays him his money and he walks away.
#joke #walksintoabar
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 26 March 2010
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (49)

A woman is walking on the road...

A woman is walking on the road and a voice shouts out, "Don't take a step further." She obeys and suddenly a ton of bricks fall on the place where she would have otherwise been. She thinks she imagined it and keeps walking until suddenly the voice calls out again. "Don't take a step further." She stops and a car skids past. Then suddenly she hears the voice saying "I am your guardian angel, and I will warn you before something bad happens to you. Now do you have any questions to ask me?" Yes! Shouts the woman, "Just where were you on my wedding day!"
#joke #wedding
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 26 March 2010
  • Currently 6.72/10

Rating: 6.7/10 (47)

What's round and bad tempered?

What's round and bad tempered? A vicious circle.
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 26 March 2010
  • Currently 5.82/10

Rating: 5.8/10 (45)

A little girl asked her father...

A little girl asked her father, "Daddy? Do all Fairy Tales begin with Once Upon A Time?"
He replied, "No, there is a whole series of Fairy Tales that begin with 'If Elected I promise...'"
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 07 November 2016
  • Currently 8.70/10

Rating: 8.7/10 (73)

When you truly don't care

When you truly don't care when anyone thinks of you, you have reached a dangerously awesome level of freedom.
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 05 March 2016
  • Currently 8.25/10

Rating: 8.3/10 (8)

Louis Katz: Hippie Roommate

I made the mistake of moving in with a hippie. Hippie roommate -- horrible mistake. Apparently, when they say peace and love, what they really mean is filthy and annoying.
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 09 November 2010
  • Currently 4.30/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (46)

High seas

I don't like the high seas. If I ever went on a pirate ship, they would clock me in the groin, and call me ‘gland clubber!‘
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 2.33/10

Rating: 2.3/10 (3)

My North Korean Friend

I asked my North Korean friend how it was to live in North Korea.
He said he can’t complain.

#joke #short
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 8.44/10

Rating: 8.4/10 (9)

One-Legged People

Q: Where do one-legged people eat?

A: IHOP.

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 02 January 2015
  • Currently 7.44/10

Rating: 7.4/10 (9)

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