Jokes of the day for Tuesday, 29 August 2023
Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Tuesday, 29 August 2023 |
The bodybuilding punster
The bodybuilding punster pumped irony.Dentist
![Dentist](/jokes-archive/2023/08/29/Dentist.jpg.400.jpg)
A guy and a girl meet at a bar. They get along so well that they decide to go to the girl's place.
A few drinks later, the guy takes off his shirt and then washes his hands.
He then takes of his trousers and washes his hands again.
The girl has been watching him and says, "You must be a dentist."
The guy, surprised, says "Yes! How did you figure that out?"
"Easy," she replied, "you keep washing your hands."
One thing led to another and they make love.
After they have done, the girl says, "You must be a good dentist."
The guy, now with a boosted ego says, "Sure, I'm a good dentist, How did you figure that out?"
"Didn't feel a thing!"
Writes and Wrongs
![Writes and Wrongs](/jokes-archive/2023/08/29/Writes-and-Wrongs.jpg.400.jpg)
Teacher: "Your spelling is really improving, Henry, I only counted three mistakes."
Henry: "That's great!"
Teacher: "And now, let's check the second sentence."
What do you like best about me....
I asked my wife the other day what she liked best about me....
"Is it my firm, trim, athletic, body? Or, rather, is it my astounding intellect?"
She replied....
"Your sense of humor, dear."
The Gift
![The Gift](/jokes-archive/2012/08/29/The-Gift.jpg.400.jpg)
On the first day of school, the children brought gifts for their teacher. The florist's son brought the teacher a bouquet of flowers. The candy-store owner's daughter gave the teacher a pretty box of candy. Then the liquor-store owner's son brought up a big, heavy box. The teacher lifted it up and noticed that it was leaking a little bit. She touched a drop of the liquid with her finger and tasted it.
"Is it wine?" she guessed.
"No," the boy replied. She tasted another drop and asked, " Champagne ?
"No," said the little boy... "It's a puppy!"
Put it back
What do you do in case of fallout?Put it back in and take shorter strokes.
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Calamjo
Begin by standing on a comfort...
![Begin by standing on a comfort...](/jokes-archive/2015/08/29/Begin-by-standing-on-a-comfort-.jpg.400.jpg)
After a couple of weeks, move up to 10-lb potato sacks. Then try 50-lbpotato sacks and then eventually try to get to where you can lift a 100-lbpotato sack in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute. (I'm at this level.)
After you feel confident at that level, put a potato in each of the sacks.
Emily Heller: Using Feminism
![Emily Heller: Using Feminism](/jokes-archive/2012/08/29/Emily-Heller-3A-Using-Feminism.jpg.400.jpg)
Kathleen Madigan: Figure Skating
![Kathleen Madigan: Figure Skating](/jokes-archive/2010/08/29/Kathleen-Madigan-3A-Figure-Skating.jpg.400.jpg)
A couple are rushing into the...
![A couple are rushing into the...](/jokes-archive/2016/02/04/A-couple-are-rushing-into-the-.png.400.jpg)
Yo momma's so ugly, the gover...
![Yo momma's so ugly, the gover...](/jokes-archive/2014/11/05/Yo-momma-27s-so-ugly-2C-the-gover-.jpg.400.jpg)
An engineer was crossing a roa...
![An engineer was crossing a roa...](/jokes-archive/2016/07/19/An-engineer-was-crossing-a-roa-.jpg.400.jpg)
The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week."
The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket.
The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want."
Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.
Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"
The engineer said, "Look I'm an engineer.
I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."
TIME
![TIME](/jokes-archive/2008/09/08/TIME.png.400.jpg)
A man had been driving all night and by morning was still far from his destination. He decided to stop at the next city he came to, and park somewhere quiet so he could get an hour or two of sleep. As luck would have it, the quiet place he chose happened to be on one of the city's major jogging routes. No sooner had he settled back to snooze when there came a knocking on his window. He looked out and saw a jogger running in place.
“Yes?”
“Excuse me, sir,” the jogger said, “do you have the time?”
The man looked at the car clock and answered, “8:15″. The jogger said thanks and left. The man settled back again, and was just dozing off when there was another knock on the window and another jogger.
“Excuse me, sir, do you have the time?”
“8:25!”
The jogger said thanks and left. Now the man could see other joggers passing by and he knew it was only a matter of time before another one disturbed him. To avoid the problem, he got out a pen and paper and put a sign in his window saying, “I do not know the time!”
Once again he settled back to sleep. He was just dozing off when there was another knock on the window.
“Sir, sir? It's 8:45!”