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Jokes of the day for Monday, 01 April 2024

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Monday, 01 April 2024

Good News & Bad News

Doctor: "Do you want to hear the good news or the bad news first?"
Patient: “Good new please!”
Doctor: “Well, we’re naming a disease after you...”

#joke #short #doctor
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 9.50/10

Rating: 9.5/10 (10)

2024 April Fools’ Day pranks - get your pranks up to date

AI prank
Ask something on about well-known person/celebrity a href="https://gemini.google.com" target="_blank">gemini.google.com or chat.openai.com or any other Chat Bot or AI tool.
Take Screenshot and then edit the name and put name of your friend instead and send it to a friend saying: “Look what ChatGPT (or Gemini or whatever…) has on you!”
They will for sure go and check themselves!

Juice pranks – fill glass with jelly instead of juice
Care for a drink?
When your family tries to take a sip of this juice, they'll find out it’s really Jell-O.

Parking prank
Fake parking ticket onto windshield is classic prank.

Some April Fools’ Day pranks get better with age!
Check these Classic April Fools’ Day pranks to make this one of the best April Fools’ Days ever!

Delivery prank
Save the delivery boxes for a few weeks and then on April 1 set them all out by the front door.

Fake Remote Batteries
Replace your remote batteries with fake or dead batteries.
The person using the remote while watching television won't be able to change the channel.
You can sit and laugh at them while they are struggling to fix the remote.

Cookie monster
Unscrew several Oreo cookies and replace the filling with toothpaste.
Sandwich the cookies back together and serve with milk to make it look like a totally normal snack.

Put an air horn behind a door prank
Put an air horn behind a door, then run for cover when someone opens it.

I'm Moving Away Prank
Ideally, take a photo of new neighbor moving in/out so the truck is visible and your neighborhood recognizable on the photo.
If you can't find photo in your neighborhood, just find stock photo of Full-Service Movers so only truck and workers are visible, but not surrounding. Share photo to let your friends know you are moving out.

Need more April Fools’ Day pranks?
Check older April Fools’ Day pranks, they are still good today!

Wool in shoes prank
Stuff someone’s shoes with cotton wool.
They will be so confused when they don’t fit anymore!

Veggies for breakfast prank
Play with quirky twist on breakfast by substituting veggies for the expected doughnuts. Purchase a box from your nearby doughnut shop, but discreetly empty it of its contents before returning home.
Instead, fill it with nutritious options like carrots, celery, and broccoli, then seal it and place it on the table.
Watch as your family anticipates indulging in doughnuts for breakfast, only to discover a pleasant surprise of fresh salad ingredients.
This clever swap can also bring a healthy touch to your workplace when left in the communal kitchen area.

Pretend it’s someone’s birthday when it’s not prank
Then get everyone to sing Happy Birthday to them, and watch the embarrassment unfold.

#joke #aprilfoolsday #prank
  • Currently 5.40/10

Rating: 5.4/10 (5)

SLIDESHOW #99 - Funny Photo Slideshow

April Fools’ Day Jokes - prank or get pranked

April Fools’ Day is the favorite holiday of which animal?
The silly goose!

April Fools’ Day is a great day to pull pranks.
Except on me, if you’re smart.

Believe nothing and trust no one this April Fools’ Day.
So it’s just like any other day.

You are here for pranks, not jokes? Check some classic April Fools’ pranks on our April Fools’ archives page

Excuse me, sir. Do you think they named April Fools’ Day in your honor?

How is April Fools’ Day like a huge open mic night?
Millions of people go out of their way to demonstrate how unfunny they are.

I’m going to pull an April Fools’ Day prank on my landlord by not paying rent.
Just kidding—rent isn’t due today!

Joke’s on you, April Fools’ Day.
I can be fooled any day of the year.

Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Noah.
Noah who?
Noah good April Fools' joke?

Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Boo.
Boo who?
Don't cry, it's just an April Fools' joke.

Who needs April Fools’ Day when your whole life is a joke?
April fools.

Who needs a day for the fools?
I’m surrounded by them all year.

Why can April jump so high?
It’s spring!

Why should you avoid the stairs on April Fools' Day?
Because they're always up to something.

Why shouldn't you tell ducks jokes on April Fools' Day?
They'll quack up.

Why was everyone so tired on April 1?
Because they just finished a long 31-day March.

Why was the donkey annoying his friend?
It was April Mules’ Day.

What do you call a hammer bought on April 1?
An April tool.

What do you call a realistic prankster?
A practical joker.

What do you call a research organization on April Fools' Day?
A think prank.

What do you call a sunny day that follows two rainy April days?
Monday.

What do you call a realistic prankster?
A practical joker.

What do you call an overflowing toilet on April Fools' Day?
A septic prank.

What do you call a research organization on April Fools' Day?
A think prank.

What do you call a stepladder’s favorite holiday?
April Stools’ Day.

What do you call an open-toad's favorite holiday?
April Fools’ Day.

What do you call an umbrella's favorite holiday?
April Showers Day.

Some April Fools’ Day pranks never get old!
Check these Pranks you can play on people to make this one of the best April Fools’ Days ever!

What do you call a hammer bought on April 1?
An April tool.

What did April Fools’ Day say after it won an award?
Prank you very much!

What did the calendar say after April Fools' was declared a holiday?
"Prank you, prank you very much."

What did you say when it’s raining chickens and ducks on April Fools’ Day?
It’s fowl spring weather.

What do you call a sunny day that follows two rainy April days?
Monday.

What's the April Fool’s lucky card in the deck?
The Joker.

What’s the biggest difference between Thanksgiving and April Fools’ Day?
On one you’re thankful, and on the other you’re prankful.

Why do omelettes love April Fools' Day?
They enjoy practical yolks.

Why is everyone so tired on April 1?
Because they just finished a long 31-day March.

Why was the donkey annoying his friend?
It was April Mules’ Day.

You should know that no one understood it was an April Fools’ joke.
No one expected you to have a sense of humor.

#joke #thanksgiving #monday #aprilfoolsday #prank
Joke | Source: Jokes of The Day - By Jokes of the day visitor
  • Currently 6.50/10

Rating: 6.5/10 (4)

Fear of alligators

While sports fishing off the Florida coast, a tourist capsized his boat. He could swim, but his fear of alligators kept him clinging to the overturned craft. Spotting and old beachcomber standing on the shore, the tourist shouted,"Are there any gators around here?!"

"Naw," the man hollered back, "they ain't been around for years!"

"Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming leisurely toward the shore.

About halfway there he asked the guy,"How'd you get rid of the gators?"

"We didn't do nothin'," the beachcomber said.

"The sharks got 'em."

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 02 May 2015
  • Currently 8.23/10

Rating: 8.2/10 (13)

An Atheist's Holiday

An atheist became incensed over Christmas holiday preparations. He filed a lawsuit about the constant celebrations given to Christians and Jews while atheists had no holiday to celebrate. The case was brought before a judge.

After listening to the long, passionate presentation by the atheist's lawyer, the judge banged his gavel and declared, "Case dismissed!"

The lawyer immediately stood and objected to the ruling. "Your honor, how can you possibly dismiss this case? The Christians have Christmas, Easter, and many other observances. Jews have Passover, Yom Kippur, and Hanukkah. Yet, my client and all other atheists have no such holiday!"

The judge leaned forward in his chair and simply said, "Obviously, your client is too confused to know about, much less celebrate, his own atheist holiday!"

The lawyer pompously said, "Your honor, we are unaware of any such holiday for atheists. Just when might that holiday be?"

The judge replied, "Well, it comes every year on exactly the same date. Psalm 14:1 states, 'The fool says in his heart, there is no God.' Thus, if your client says there is no God then, according to the Bible, he is a fool. April Fool's Day is his holiday. Now, get out of my courtroom!"

- Joke shared on Beliefnet's Religious Humor page

#joke #lawyer #christmas #
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 01 April 2018
  • Currently 4.75/10

Rating: 4.8/10 (73)

Bingo sign

How do you get 500 old cows in a barn?

Put up a Bingo sign.

Submitted by Curtis

Edited by Calamjo

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 01 April 2011
  • Currently 5.41/10

Rating: 5.4/10 (51)

A Recently Spotted Bumper Sticker:

"God is coming --
and is SHE pissed!"

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 01 April 2011
  • Currently 3.91/10

Rating: 3.9/10 (46)

Jo Koy: When Monkeys Get Mad

When monkeys get mad, they crap in their hand and they throw it. How cool is that? Whos going to fight a guy with a lump of crap in his hand?
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 01 April 2012
  • Currently 4.19/10

Rating: 4.2/10 (42)

1. "Weather at our destination...

1. "Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken
clouds, but we'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and
remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than Southwest Airlines."

2. "Your seat cushions can be used for flotation, and, in the
event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take
them with you with our compliments."

3. "As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your
belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among
the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses."

4. And from the pilot during his welcome message: "Delta airlines
is pleased to have some of the best flight attendants in the
industry. Unfortunately, none of them are on this flight!"

5. Overheard on an American Airlines flight into Amarillo, Texas, on a particularly
windy and bumpy day: During the final approach, the Captain was really having to
fight it. After an extremely hard landing, the Flight Attendant said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Amarillo. Please remain in your seats with your seat belts fastened
while the Captain taxis what's left of our airplane to the gate
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 01 April 2010
  • Currently 6.53/10

Rating: 6.5/10 (34)

Marriage Certificate

Wife: 'What are you doing?'
Husband: Nothing.
Wife: 'Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.'
Husband: 'I was looking for the expiration date.'
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 18 December 2008
  • Currently 8.08/10

Rating: 8.1/10 (25)

Johnny Depp jokes

June the 9th is Johnny Depp’s Birthday!
Wish him happy birthday with these jokes.

Did Johnny Depp just win the defamation case
or was it…
misheard​​?

Amber Heard's net worth is $2.5 million and she now has to pay Johnny Depp $15 million...
Yeah, she's forever going to be in Depp​​.

What did Johnny Depp's bed say when Amber Heard walked in?
You've got to be shitting me​.

Why don't you ever see a group of Johnny Depp fans?
They don't like Heards​.

Johnny Depp's the one guy ...
that could have used an Amber alert​​.

Why did Johnny Depp skip getting a booster shot?
Because he now has "Heard immunity"​.

What is Johnny Depp’s go-to workout video?
Pilates of the Caribbean

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 09 June 2023
  • Currently 5.43/10

Rating: 5.4/10 (7)

Heads or tails

The blonde reported for her university final examination that consists of yes/no type questions.

She takes her seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes and then, in a fit of inspiration, takes out her purse, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin, marking the answer sheet: Yes for heads, and no for tails.

Within half an hour she is all done, whereas the rest of the class is still sweating it out.

During the last few minutes she is seen desperately throwing the coin, muttering and sweating.

The moderator, alarmed, approaches her and asks what is going on.

"I finished the exam in half an hour, but now I'm rechecking my answers."

Submitted by Calamjo

Edited by Curtis

#joke #blonde
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 15 July 2015
  • Currently 7.13/10

Rating: 7.1/10 (8)

How much?

A man meets a woman at a bar and asks her

"Would you have sex with me for 10 million dollars?"

Without skipping a beat she screams

"Yes!"

The man then asks

"What about for $20?"

She looks at him sideways and says

"What do you think I am, a whore?"

The man says

"We've already established that you are, now we're just negotiating."

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 07 June 2016
  • Currently 7.17/10

Rating: 7.2/10 (24)

At the movie theater, a young...

At the movie theater, a young man returning to his seat taps the arm of a woman in the last seat in the row. “Excuse me,” he says, “but did I step on your toe on the way out?” “As a matter of fact, you did,” says the woman, expecting an apology.
“Oh good,” says the man, “then this is my row.”
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 22 October 2015
  • Currently 8.60/10

Rating: 8.6/10 (10)

McPherson walked into a bar an...

McPherson walked into a bar and ordered martini after martini, each time removing the olives and placing them in a jar. When the jar was filled with olives and all the drinks consumed, the Irishman started to leave.
"Excuse me," said another bar patron, who was puzzled over what McPherson had done. "What was that all about?"
"Nothing," said the Irishman, "my wife sent me out for a jar of olives."
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 01 May 2018
  • Currently 8.00/10

Rating: 8.0/10 (16)

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