Jokes of the day for Sunday, 25 January 2026
| Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Sunday, 25 January 2026 |
Scripture?
An elderly woman had just returned to her home from an evening church service when she was startled by an intruder. She caught the burglar red-handed, and yelled, "Stop! Acts 2:38 (meaning, repent and be baptized...)!"
The burglar stopped dead in his tracks. The woman then calmly called the police and explained what she had done.
As the officer cuffed the burglar, he asked, "Why did you just stand there? All the old lady did was yell a scripture to you."
"Scripture?" replied the burglar, "I thought she said she had an axe and two 38's!"
A woman decided to have her po...
A woman decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, "Paint me with diamond rings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets, a ruby broach, and gold Rolex.""But you are not wearing any of those things," he replied.
"I know," she said. "It's in case I should die before my husband. I'm sure he will remarry right away, and I want his new wife to go crazy looking for the jewelry."
I get angry, i yell, i cry
I get angry, i yell, i cry, i speak my mind, i stand up for what i believe in and i'll never apologize for being me. 
Kyle Kinane: This Is America
This is America. It is my God given right to be loudly opinionated about something I am completely ignorant of. Don't Let Me Be Late!
A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as she could, trying not to be late for Bible class. As she ran, she prayed, "Dear Lord, please don't let me be late! Dear Lord, please don't let me be late!"
As she was running and praying, she tripped on a curb and fell, getting her clothes dirty and tearing her dress.
She got up, brushed herself off, and started running again. Again, she prayed, "Dear Lord, please don't let me be late!...But don't shove me either!"
The End Is Near!
A local priest and a pastor were fishing on the side of the road. They thoughtfully made a sign saying, "The End is Near! Turn yourself around now before it's too late!" and showed it to each passing car. One driver who drove by didn't appreciate the sign and shouted at them, "Leave us alone, you religious nuts!"
All of a sudden they heard a big splash, looked at each other, and the priest said to the pastor, "You think maybe we should have just said 'Bridge Out' instead?"
Tenses
A teacher says, “Okay, class. Today we’re going to be talking about the tenses. If I say ‘I’m beautiful,’ which tense is it?”
Little Johnny raises his hand and says, “Obviously past tense, Miss.”
Better write it down
My Grandpa and Grandma were sitting on their porch swing enjoying the nice evening breeze, when Grandpa lovingly leaned over and said, "Hey Ma, I'm gonna have some ice cream, would you like some?"
"Yeah, Pa, but you'd better write it down or you'll forget", says Grandma.
Grandpa replies, "I won't forget." "Alright then", says Grandma, "I'd like nuts and whipped cream and a cherry on mine.
You'd better write that down, Pa you're gonna forget it." Disgruntled, Grandpa storms off to the kitchen mumbling that he wouldn't forget.
Well he's in there a long time, and when he finally does return, he has the best lookin' plate of scrambled eggs you ever saw. He smiles his best smile and leans over to give it to Grandma.
She just smiles back and says, "I told you that you'd better write it down, you old coot, you forgot my bacon!!!"...
Good news...bad news...
"I have good news and bad news," a defense attorney told his client.
"First the bad news: The blood test came back, and your DNA is an exact match with the sample found on the victim's dress."
"Oh, no - I'm ruined!" cried the client. "What's the good news?"
"Your cholesterol is down to 140!"
National Hug a Plumber Day Jokes
It’s National Hug a Plumber Day on April 25! Find few sort jokes and one bit longer joke about Plumbers What do plumbers and teachers have in common?
They both gotta deal with little crap all day.
What does a plumber say in a library?
"Pipe Down!"
What vegetable do plumbers hate?
Leeks.
What do plumbers and economists have in common?
They both deal with gross domestic product.
Why was the plumber tired after a day's work?
Because the work had been too draining!
What is the similarity between a plumber and a bodybuilder?
They both like to pump irons!
When the plumber had a near-death experience, he almost saw his entire life flush before his eyes!
What do you call a plumber who has become super and has his own game?
Super Mario!
A plumber received a call from a woman, requesting his help with a leaky pipe in her apartment. When he arrived, he was pleasantly surprised to find that the woman was quite attractive and had a stunning figure. As the afternoon progressed, the two grew increasingly close and intimate.
Around 5:30 p.m., the phone rang, interrupting their passionate rendezvous. The woman answered the call and then informed the plumber, "That was my husband. He's on his way home, but he'll be heading back to the office around 8 p.m. If you come back then, we can continue where we left off."
The union plumber stared at the woman in disbelief and responded, "What? On my own time?"
A man walks into a piano store...
A man walks into a piano store and says, "I would like to buy a hairy piano." Perplexed, the sales clerk asked, "Why do you want a hairy piano?!" Nonchalantly, the customer responded, "Well, the last piano store only had Baldwins." When I was married, my wife us...
When I was married, my wife used to call me handsome. As a matter of fact, we are now divorced but she STILL calls me handsome.Every time I have some money, she says, HANDSOME OVER.
