Jokes of the day for Tuesday, 25 April 2023
| Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Tuesday, 25 April 2023 |
National Hug a Plumber Day Jokes
It’s National Hug a Plumber Day on April 25! Find few sort jokes and one bit longer joke about PlumbersWhat do plumbers and teachers have in common?
They both gotta deal with little crap all day.
What does a plumber say in a library?
"Pipe Down!"
What vegetable do plumbers hate?
Leeks.
What do plumbers and economists have in common?
They both deal with gross domestic product.
Why was the plumber tired after a day's work?
Because the work had been too draining!
What is the similarity between a plumber and a bodybuilder?
They both like to pump irons!
When the plumber had a near-death experience, he almost saw his entire life flush before his eyes!
What do you call a plumber who has become super and has his own game?
Super Mario!
A plumber received a call from a woman, requesting his help with a leaky pipe in her apartment. When he arrived, he was pleasantly surprised to find that the woman was quite attractive and had a stunning figure. As the afternoon progressed, the two grew increasingly close and intimate.
Around 5:30 p.m., the phone rang, interrupting their passionate rendezvous. The woman answered the call and then informed the plumber, "That was my husband. He's on his way home, but he'll be heading back to the office around 8 p.m. If you come back then, we can continue where we left off."
The union plumber stared at the woman in disbelief and responded, "What? On my own time?"
14 Physics Jokes that Scientist will love!
Why does a burger have less calories than a steak?
Because it is in its “GROUND” state!
Have you heard of the physicist who got chilled to absolute zero.
He’s 0K now.
A photon checks into a hotel and the bell boy asks what luggage he carries. What could be Photon’s reply?
“I did not bring any luggage, I am travelling ‘LIGHT’.
How many general relativity theorists does it take to change a light bulb?
It takes two: One will hold the light bulb, and another will “rotate the space”.
Why can't you trust an atom?
Because atoms ‘make up everything’.
Why can’t you bring ‘electricity’ to parties?
Because it does not know how to ‘conduct’ itself.
You are in a high school and you see an experiment. How will you know which class it is?
If green and wiggly things are placed inside, then it's a biology lab. If it stinks, it's obviously the ‘Chemistry lab. However, if the experiment fails, it's a “physics” lab.
A neutron walks into a bar and asks about the price.
“For you sir, No charge at all!”
What does the male magnet say to the female magnet?
I saw you from the back, and thought you were ‘repulsive’, but now that I see from the front, I find you ‘attractive’.
What did a quantum physicist say before a bar duel?
Let me at-om!
What can a duck say to a physicist?
QUARK! QUARK! QUARK!
What did the Uranium-238 nucleus say to his partner?
We gotta ‘split’!
Two cats fall off a terrace at the same time, at the same speed. Which one did fall off first?
The one with the smaller “mew”.
What can a beginner’s guide to physics include?
Relativity: When the family gets bigger
Black hole: What you get in black socks
Critical mass: a group of film reviewers
Hyperspace: the place where you park your car at a megastore!
Southwest
A mother and her very young son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago. The little boy (who had been looking out the window) turned to his mother and asked, "If big dogs have baby dogs, and big cats have baby cats, why don't big airplanes have baby airplanes?" "Well, then, you go and tell your mother that there are no baby airplanes because Southwest always pulls out on time. Have your Mom explain that to you."
The mother (who couldn't think of an answer) told her son to ask the stewardess.
So the boy went down the aisle and asked the stewardess. The stewardess, who was very busy at the time, smiled and said, "Did your Mom tell you to ask me?"
The boy said, "yes she did."
A Puzzle for Darwin
On the sixth day, God created the platypus. And God said: Let's see the evolutionists try and figure this one out. Any questions?
Mommy has told her little girl all about the making of babies. Little Annie is now silent for a while.
"You understand it now?" Mommy asks.
"Yes," replies her daughter.
"Do you still have any questions?"
"Yes, how about little kittens? How does that work?"
"In exactly the same way as with babies."
"Wow!" the girl exclaims. "My daddy can do ANYTHING!"
Lighting a lantern is
Lighting a lantern is pure torcher.Used Car
It was a small town and the patrolman was making his evening rounds As he was checking a used car lot, he came upon two little old ladies sitting in a used car. He stopped and asked them if they were stealing the car. They said "Heavens no, we bought it."
He said, "Then why don't you drive it away".
Each of the women said "We can't drive".
The officer momentarily shook his head and then asked "Then why did you buy it?"
They answered, "We were told if we bought a car here, we'd get screwed, so we are just waiting.
I'm Working At the Moment
My boss texted me, "Send me one of your funny jokes, Pete."
I replied, "I'm working at the moment, Sir, I will send you one later."
He replied, "That was fantastic, send me another one."
You are meant to be together
Sometimes, you find the right person at the wrong time. Sometimes it’s the wrong person at the right time. But when you find the right person, at the right time, in the right situation, it’s because you are meant to be together. Fate has grabbed both of your hands. Don’t let go. A couple pulled into the drive...
A couple pulled into the driveway after their first date. The guy leans over and gives the girl a long, slow kiss. While he's kissing her, he quietly unzips his pants, takes her hand, and puts it on his penis.When she realizes what it is, she screams, jumps out of the car, and yells back at him as she starts closing the car door, "I've got just two words for you, Drop Dead!!"
"And I've got two words for you too," the guy shrieks, "LET GO!!!!"
