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Jokes of the day for Wednesday, 25 April 2012

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Wednesday, 25 April 2012

Four high school boys afflicte...

Four high school boys afflicted with spring fever skipped morning classes.

After lunch, they reported to the teacher that they had a flat tire.
Much to their relief she smiled, and said, "Well, you missed a test today so take seats apart from one another and take out a piece of paper."
Still smiling, she waited for them to sit down.

Then she said, "First Question: Which tire was flat?"
#joke #food #lunch
Joke | Source: MHINTZ0929's Blog - New funny joke each day
  • Currently 5.33/10

Rating: 5.3/10 (6)

Hilarious jokes-Things not to say to a cop

Top 10 things not to say to a cop when he pulls you over
I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.
Hey, is that a 9mm? That's nothing compared to this 44 magnum.
Hey, you must have been doing 125 to keep up with me, good job.
Sorry officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.
What do you mean have I been drinking? You are the trained specialist.
Wow, you look just like the guy in the picture on my girlfriends night stand.
I thought you had to be in relatively good physical shape to be a police officer.
I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes I know there is no other car around, that's how far they are ahead of me.
Is it true that people become cops because they are too dumb to work at McDonalds?
Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off of my lap and got lodged between the brake and the gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.
Joke | Source: Really Funny Jokes - Really Funny jokes, adult jokes, Good jokes, short funny jokes, teacher jokes, affair jokes, kids jokes, doctor jokes, funny pictures
  • Currently 4.50/10

Rating: 4.5/10 (6)

Questions of Logic

Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as “4′s”?

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

When someone asks you, “A penny for your thoughts,” and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?

Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It's just stale bread to begin with.

Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?

If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

#joke #animal #pig #food #bread
Joke | Source: Joke Diary - Really Funny Jokes Daily
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (7)

Funny Photo of the day - I Plunged the Depths Looking For a Good iPad Prop

I Plunged the Depths Looking For a Good iPad Prop | Source : There I fixed it - photos of ur handiwork!
  • Currently 5.14/10

Rating: 5.1/10 (7)

The Icelandic parliament is in...

The Icelandic parliament is in recess. Althings must come to an end.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 5.71/10

Rating: 5.7/10 (7)

Imagine that

Can u believe what people do in the church these days?

I was in the church listening tothe priest's sermon when i saw a guy smoking cigarettes inside the church.

I was so amazed that i didn't know when the bottle of beer i was holding fell on the floor.

Joke | Source: Jokes of the day - Taken from Bartender's guide to Jokes, Drinks, and Poker - once good site, no longer active.
  • Currently 4.65/10

Rating: 4.7/10 (46)

How much wood would a woodchuc...

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? ...All of it.
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 31 August 2011
  • Currently 3.16/10

Rating: 3.2/10 (63)

Jessi Klein: Sexy Librarian

I have brown hair and I wear these glasses, and I usually have my hair up in a bun, so the other thing guys have often said to me is, Youre like a sexy librarian. Youre like a sexy librarian type. Youre a sexy librarian. And Im like, Ive always thought of myself as more of a bookish whore. Sort of, you know, less of a nerd, more of a slut.
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 27 March 2011
  • Currently 3.80/10

Rating: 3.8/10 (64)

Moshe Reads an Arab Newspaper

A story is told of a Jewish man who was riding on the subway reading an Arab newspaper. A friend of his, who happened to be riding in the same subway car, noticed this strange phenomenon. Very upset, he approached the newspaper reader.
"Moshe, have you lost your mind? Why are you reading an Arab newspaper?"Moshe replied, "I used to read the Jewish newspaper, but what did I find? Jews being persecuted, Israel being attacked, Jews disappearing through assimilation and intermarriage, Jews living in poverty. So I switched to the Arab newspaper. Now what do I find? Jews own all the banks, Jews control the media, Jews are all rich and powerful, Jews rule the world. The news is so much better!"

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 28 November 2010
  • Currently 6.84/10

Rating: 6.8/10 (56)

Four high school boys afflicte...

Four high school boys afflicted with spring fever skipped morning classes. After lunch they reported to the teacher that they had a flat tire.
Much to their relief she smiled and said: "Well, you missed a test today so take seats apart from one another and take out a piece of paper."
Still smiling, she waited for them to sit down. Then she said:
"First Question: Which tire was flat?"
#joke #food #lunch
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 19 June 2010
  • Currently 3.09/10

Rating: 3.1/10 (11)

There was a competition to cro...

There was a competition to cross the English channel doing only the breaststroke, and the three women who entered the race were a brunette, a redhead and a blonde.
After approximately 14 hours, the brunette staggered up on the shore and was declared the fastest. About 40 minutes later, the redhead crawled up on the shore and was declared the second place finisher.
Nearly 4 hours after that, the blonde finally came ashore and promptly collapsed in front of the worried onlookers.
When the reporters asked why it took her so long to complete the race, she replied, "I don't want to sound like I'm a sore loser, but I think those two other girls were using their arms..."
#joke #blonde
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 17 December 2009
  • Currently 5.77/10

Rating: 5.8/10 (70)

Little Johnny learns to count...

The teacher asks little Johnny if he knows his numbers.

"Yes," he says, "I do. My father taught me."

"Good. What comes after three."

"Four," answers little Johnny.

"What comes after six?"

"Seven."

"Very good," says the teacher. "Your dad did a good job. What comes after ten?"

Little Johnny smiles and says, "Jack."

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 14 May 2009
  • Currently 4.33/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (9)

Knock Knock Collection 057


Knock Knock
Who's there?
Egypt!
Egypt who?
Egypt you when he sold you a broken door bell!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Elaine!
Elaine who?
Elaine of the freeway!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Eileen!
Eileen who?
Eileen over to tie up my shoes!

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Elektra!
Elektra who?
Elektra circus!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Elias!
Elias who?
Elias a terrible thing!

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 25 April 2011
  • Currently 3.10/10

Rating: 3.1/10 (10)

Pap smear

Why is a pap smear called a pap smear? Because women wouldn't do them if they were called cunt scrapes.

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 25 April 2011
  • Currently 2.10/10

Rating: 2.1/10 (10)

A traveler wandering on an isl...

A traveler wandering on an island inhabited by cannibals comes upon a butcher shop. This shop specialized in human brains sorted out according to source.

The sign in the shop read:
Artists' Brains $9/lb
Philosophers' Brains $12/lb
Scientists' Brains $15/lb
Blondes' Brains $100/lb

Upon reading the sign, the traveler noted, "My, those beekeepers' brains are expensive - they must be very powerful!"

The butcher replied, "Not really. They're expensive because it takes so many Blondes to get one pound of brains!!"
#joke #blonde
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 25 April 2009
  • Currently 4.67/10

Rating: 4.7/10 (9)

Bloopers from Sunday School Students

  • The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still and he obeyed him.
  • Solomon, one of David's sons, has 300 wives and 700 porcupines.
  • Jesus enunciated the Golden Rule, which says to do one to others before they do one to you. He also explained, "Man doth not live by sweat alone."
  • It was a miracle when Jesus rose from the dead and managed to get the tombstone off the entrance.

    #joke
  • Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 25 April 2009
    • Currently 5.38/10

    Rating: 5.4/10 (8)

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