Popular jokes (16396 to 16410)Jokes sorted by popularity on social networks. Popularity is sum of all all comments, likes, pluses, tweets, etc. is new measure, independant from rating with our star rating system. |
Placing Your Order
A friend and I were standing in line at a fast-food restaurant, waiting to place our order.
There was a big sign posted. "No bills larger than $20 will be accepted."
The woman in front of us, pointing to the sign, remarked, "Believe me, if I HAD a bill larger than $20, I wouldn't be eating here."
How do you make five pounds of
How do you make five pounds of fat look good? Put a nipple on it!#joke #short
One day a man was walking in t
One day a man was walking in the woods when he got lost. For two days he roamed around trying to find a way out. He had not eaten anything during this period and was famished. Over on a rock ledge he spotted a bald eagle. He killed it, and started to eat it. Surprisingly, a couple of park rangers happen to find him at that moment, and arrested him for killing an endangered species. In court, he pleads innocent to the charges against him, claiming that if he didn't eat the bald eagle he would have died from starvation. The judge ruled in his favor. In the judge's closing statement he asked the man, "I would like you to tell me something before I let you go. I have never eaten a bald eagle, nor ever plan on it, but what did it taste like?" The man answered, "Well, it tasted like a cross between a whooping crane and a spotted owl!"#joke #animal #owl
We live in a society today whe...
We live in a society today where pizza delivery comes to your house before the policeI told my oral hygiene profess...
I told my oral hygiene professional that I wash my mouth with plaque. He looked at me like I was dentally retartared.#joke #short
Hymns for Senior Citizens
"Precious Lord, Take My hand and Help Me Up”"It Is Well With My Soul, but My Knees Hurt”
"Just a Slower Walk with Thee”
"Go Tell It on the Mountain, but Please Speak Up”
"Nobody Knows the Trouble I Have Seeing”
This joke was reprinted from "Laugh Yourself Healthy" by Charles and Frances Hunter, with permission of Strang Communications. Copyright 2008. All rights reserved.
#joke
“I don't know why my
“I don't know why my eyeglass lenses were steamed up. I was mystified.”
#joke #short
I love watching beards flouris
I love watching beards flourish. I'm a neck-grow philiac.#joke #short
Lover's Lane
At a paternity trial, the blonde's lawyer asked, "On the night of July 16th last, at approximately 11:45 p.m., in the locale known generally as 'Lover's Lane' did the defendant have sexual relations with you?"
"Yes," whispered the girl, her head bowed.
"And did the defendant on that occasion, to the best of your knowledge, have a climax?"
the lawyer continued.
"Oh no," she replied, "I'm pretty sure... he had one of them fancy Mitsubishis."
#joke #lawyer
“I saw a great comedy
“I saw a great comedy show in London. Folks were rolling in the isles.”
#joke #short
Scary Collection 52
A witch jokeWhy do witches ride on broomsticks?
Because it's quicker than walking!
A witch joke
What are baby witches called?
Halloweenies!
A witch joke
What do little witches do after school?
Their gnomework!
A witch joke
What do witches say when they overtake each other?
Broom, broom, broom!
A witch joke
What is the difference between a deer running away and a small witch?
One's a hunted stag and the other is a stunted hag!
A witch joke
Why do witches get good bargains?
Because they like to haggle!
A witch joke
Why did the witch consult an astrologer?
She wanted to know her horror-scope!
#joke #animal #deer
A Recently Spotted Bumper Sticker:
"God said it, I believe it, that settles it!"#joke #short
