Popular jokes (16411 to 16425)Jokes sorted by popularity on social networks. Popularity is sum of all all comments, likes, pluses, tweets, etc. is new measure, independant from rating with our star rating system. |
I told my oral hygiene profess...
I told my oral hygiene professional that I wash my mouth with plaque. He looked at me like I was dentally retartared.Hymns for Senior Citizens
"Precious Lord, Take My hand and Help Me Up”"It Is Well With My Soul, but My Knees Hurt”
"Just a Slower Walk with Thee”
"Go Tell It on the Mountain, but Please Speak Up”
"Nobody Knows the Trouble I Have Seeing”
This joke was reprinted from "Laugh Yourself Healthy" by Charles and Frances Hunter, with permission of Strang Communications. Copyright 2008. All rights reserved.
“I don't know why my
“I don't know why my eyeglass lenses were steamed up. I was mystified.”
I love watching beards flouris
I love watching beards flourish. I'm a neck-grow philiac.Lover's Lane
At a paternity trial, the blonde's lawyer asked, "On the night of July 16th last, at approximately 11:45 p.m., in the locale known generally as 'Lover's Lane' did the defendant have sexual relations with you?"
"Yes," whispered the girl, her head bowed.
"And did the defendant on that occasion, to the best of your knowledge, have a climax?"
the lawyer continued.
"Oh no," she replied, "I'm pretty sure... he had one of them fancy Mitsubishis."
“I saw a great comedy
“I saw a great comedy show in London. Folks were rolling in the isles.”
Scary Collection 52
A witch jokeWhy do witches ride on broomsticks?
Because it's quicker than walking!
A witch joke
What are baby witches called?
Halloweenies!
A witch joke
What do little witches do after school?
Their gnomework!
A witch joke
What do witches say when they overtake each other?
Broom, broom, broom!
A witch joke
What is the difference between a deer running away and a small witch?
One's a hunted stag and the other is a stunted hag!
A witch joke
Why do witches get good bargains?
Because they like to haggle!
A witch joke
Why did the witch consult an astrologer?
She wanted to know her horror-scope!
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Three Aussie guys were working...
Three Aussie guys were working on a high-rise building project - Steve, Bruce and Kevin.Steve falls off and is killed instantly.
As the ambulance takes the body away, Bruce says, "Someone should go and tell his wife."
Kevin says, "OK, I'm pretty good at that sensitive stuff, I'll do it."
Two hours later, he comes back carrying a case of Fosters.
Bruce says, "Where did you get that, Kev?"
"Steve's wife gave it to me,"
Bruce replies. "That's unbelievable, you told the lady her husband was dead and she gave you the beer?"
"Well not exactly," Kevin said. "When she answered the door, I said to her, 'You must be Steve's widow'.
She said, 'No, I'm not a widow.'
And I said, 'I'll bet you a case of Fosters you are'."
Blonde Convention
80,000 blondes meet in the Kansas City Chiefs Stadium for a “Blondes Are Not Stupid” Convention. The leader says, “We are all here today to prove to the world that blondes are not stupid. Can I have a volunteer?” A blonde gingerly works her way through the crowd and steps up to the stage. The leader asks her, “What is 15 plus 15?” After 15 or 20 seconds she says, “Eighteen!”Obviously everyone is a little disappointed. Then 80,000 blondes start cheering, “Give her another chance! Give her another chance!” The leader says, “Well since we've gone to the trouble of getting 80,000 of you in one place and we have the world-wide press and global broadcast media here, gee, uh, I guess we can give her another chance.” So he asks, “What is 5 plus 5?”
After nearly 30 seconds she eventually says, “Ninety?”
The leader is quite perplexed, looks down and just lets out a dejected sigh — everyone is disheartened, the blonde starts crying and the 80,000 girls begin to yell and wave their hands shouting, “GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE! GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE!”
The leader, unsure whether or not he is doing more harm than damage, eventually says, “Ok! Ok! Just one more chance — What is 2 plus 2?”
The girl closes her eyes, and after a whole minute eventually says, “Four?”
Throughout the stadium pandemonium breaks out as all 80,000 girls jump to their feet, wave their arms, stomp their feet and scream…
“GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE! GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE!”
