Popular jokes (19906 to 19920)

A Taliban was sitting in a cav...

A Taliban was sitting in a cave when he hears over a dune the voice of one American solider: "One American solider is better then 10 Taliban fighters" so the Taliban angry sent over ten of his high-ranking soldiers. After a lot of gun fire and yelling and screams of agony the Taliban heard the voice again. "One American solider is better then 100 Taliban fighters" So the Taliban sends over 100 of his highest ranked soldiers sure of victory. After a lot of gun fire and yelling and screams of agony the Taliban heard the voice again. "One American solider is better then 1000 Taliban fighters" So the Taliban sent his toughest, meanest, personal guards over the dune. After hundreds of bullets fired, and explosions and the screaming and crying, it was over. The Taliban now wondering what happened goes over the dune where he finds a wounded Taliban solider who says "don't send anymore men it's really a trap there is really two of them!"

Show-and-Tell

A kindergarten teacher gave her class a "show and tell" assignment. Each student was instructed to bring in an object to share with the class that represented their religion.

The first student got up in front of the class and said, "My name is Benjamin and I am Jewish and this is a Star of David."The second student got up in front of the class and said, "My name is Mary. I'm a Catholic and this is the Crucifix."

The third student got in up front of the class and said, " My name is Tommy and I am Baptist and this is a casserole."

I Deserve A First Class Seat

A blonde gets on an airplane and sits down in the first class section of the plane. The stewardess rushes over to her and tells her she must move to coach because she doesn't have a first class ticket. The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, I'm smart, I have a good job, and I'm staying in first class until we reach Jamaica."
The disgusted stewardess gets the head stewardess who asks the blonde to leave. The blonde yet again repeats "I'm blonde, I'm smart, I have a good job and I'm staying in first class until we reach Jamaica." The head stewardesses doesn't even know what to do at this point because they still have to get the rest of the passengers seated to take off; the blode is causing a problem with boarding now, so the stewardess gets the copilot.
The copilot goes up to the blonde and whispers in her ear. She immediately gets up and goes to her seat in the coach section. The head stewardess asks the copilot in amazement what he said to get her to move to her correct seat. The copilot replies, "I told her the front half of the airplane wasn't going to Jamaica."

Tired of the boring "straights

Tired of the boring "straights" she'd been laying, a gal decided she'd find out if bikers were really the heavy "cocksmen" that she heard they were.
So she picked up a gigantic biker and went with him up to his pad. Stripped and ready, anxiously awaiting some real action, she was astonished to see that his fully erect dick was only two inches long.
"Who," she demanded scornfully, "do you think you're gonna satisfy with that?"
Grinning confidently, the biker replied, "Me!"

So what if I deleted you from

So what if I deleted you from my address book? You're taking it entirely out of contacts.

Blonde Bob was asked, "How man

Blonde Bob was asked, "How many seconds there are in a year?"
He answered, "It's gotta be 12 seconds in a year - January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd..."

The Sub-Rhyme Crisis <...

The Sub-Rhyme Crisis of 2007 was caused by bad poetry.

Yo momma’s so ugly, when the

Yo momma’s so ugly, when they took her to the beautician it took 12 hours – for a quote!

Harry came home from Sunday sc...

Harry came home from Sunday school and asked his mother, “Do people really come from dust?” “In a way said,” said his mother. “And do they go back to dust?” “Yes, in a way.” She replied. “Well, mother, I looked under my bed, and somebody’s either coming or going.”

More Law...

More Laws of Work

1 Don't be irreplaceable - if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

2 It doesn't matter what you do, it only matters what you say you're going to do.

3 You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.

4 Everything can be filed under "miscellaneous."

5 If it weren't for the last minute, nothing would get done.

6 When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.

7 The last person that left will be held responsible for everything that goes wrong.

8 A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the pants.

9 When the bosses talk about improving productivity, they never mean themselves.

10 Keep your boss's boss off your boss's back.

Alphabet Letters

How many letters are there in the alphabet?
Noel, noel, noel, noel ... the angels did say...
E.T. went home.
Get rid of X. There's too many unknowns in the world already!
(Only one vowel left, or is that "Anly ana vawal laft" This may be stretching it a bit, but not unless you consider, as our good friends in Canada say: Good day, A!
And we all know that M&Ms melt in your mouth, so it's safe to count them out.
And of course, Y not.
We might as well put off using U until later in the year: See U in September
TWA just took off!!

Breast augmentation will fix e

Breast augmentation will fix everything; all your problems a distend mammary.

411

You're so stupid you had to call 411 to get the number for 911.

Irony

Irony:
Hyphenated
Non-hyphenated

In school, Chuck Norris put "v...

In school, Chuck Norris put "violence" down for every answer on math tests and always got 100% because he solves all problems with violence.