Popular jokes (31171 to 31185)Jokes sorted by popularity on social networks. Popularity is sum of all all comments, likes, pluses, tweets, etc. is new measure, independant from rating with our star rating system. |
Good jokes-Habit
A nun is walking down the street , when a priest stops her to ask, "Can I walk you to the Convent?"
The Nun replies, "Ok, Just this time."
On reaching the Convent, he asks her, "Can I kiss you?"
She says, "Ok, fine with me, but do not get into the habit."
The Nun replies, "Ok, Just this time."
On reaching the Convent, he asks her, "Can I kiss you?"
She says, "Ok, fine with me, but do not get into the habit."
#joke #short
You might be a redneck if 54
You might be a reneck if...Your best coat is a black and red checkered.
You put your Christmas lights up 2 weeks after taking them down.
You consider duct tape and tarp straps necessities for auto body repair.
You raise the confederate flag in the bed of your truck whenever you go for a drive.
You can't wait for the Saturday night square dance.
You refer to your truck as if it had a legal first name.
You've ever been given a gun as a present.
Flannel is your favorite color.
You or one of your relatives is named Cletus.
Your grandfather can sense a storm coming by a mysterious twitching in his knee.
#joke #christmas #redneck
A man refused a drink in pub w...
A man refused a drink in pub was told it was because of the trouble he caused the night before.Train Station
Three priests were in a train station on their way home to Pittsburgh. Behind the ticket counter was a very sexy, shapely, well endowed woman wearing a very tight sweater. She made the three priests very nervous so they drew straws to determine who would get the tickets. The first priest approached the window.. "Young lady, I would like three pickets to titsburg." He completely lost his composure and fled.The second priest goes to the window. "Young lady, I would like three tickets to Pittsburgh and I would like the change in nipples and dimes." Mortified, he too fled.
The third priest moves to the window. "Young lady, I would like three tickets to Pittsburgh and I would like the change in nickels and dimes. And, I must say, if you insist on dressing like that, when you get to the pearly gates, St. Finger is going to shake his Peter at you.
#joke
Leader Of The HMO
Three people die, a Doctor a school teacher and the head of a large HMO, when met at the pearly gates by St. Peter he asks the Doctor 'what did you do on Earth?'
The Dotor replied, I healed the sick and if they could not pay I would do it for free. St. Peter told the Doctor, 'you may go in.'
St. Peter then asked the teacher what she did, she replied, I taught educationally challenged children. St. Peter then told her 'you may go in.'
St. Peter asked the third man, 'what did you do?' The man hung his head and replied, 'I ran a large HMO.' To which St. Peter replied, 'you may go in, but you can only stay 3 days.'
#joke #doctor
“When I opened the fi...
“When I opened the first snow-pea pod, one fell out and rolled under the fridge. One might say it was an escapea.”
#joke #short
Insurance Company
A Ch...
Insurance CompanyA Charlotte, North Carolina man, having purchased a case of rare, very expensive cigars, insured them against .... get this .... fire. Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of fabulous cigars, and having yet to make a single premium payment on the policy, the man filed a claim against the insurance company. In his claim, the man stated that he had lost the cigars in "a series of small fires." The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason that the man had consumed the cigars in a normal fashion. The man sued ... and won!! In delivering his ruling, the judge stated that since the man held a policy from the company in which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable, and also guaranteed that it would insure the cigars against fire, without defining what it considered to be "unacceptable fire," it was obligated to compensate the insured for his loss. Rather than endure a lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance company accepted the judge's ruling and paid the man $15,000 for the rare cigars he lost in "the fires." After the man cashed his check, however, the insurance company had him arrested... on 24 counts of arson! With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case being used as evidence against him, the man was convicted of intentionally burning the rare cigars and sentenced to 24 consecutive one year terms.
#joke
Steve complained to his friend
Steve complained to his friend Al that lovemaking with his wife was becoming routine and boring."Get creative buddy. Break up the monotony. Why don't you try playing doctor for an hour?"
"Sounds great," Steve replied, "but how do you make it last for an hour?"
"Hell, just keep her in the waiting room for 45 minutes!"
#joke #doctor
Did you hear about the farmer ...
Did you hear about the farmer who wanted to buy a thousand hens, but didn't have the money...so...He put them on a layaway plan!#joke #short
“I told the psychiatr...
“I told the psychiatrist that I was afraid of strangers talking about the founder of stoicism. He said I had zenophobia.”
#joke #short
Shane Mauss: Freakishly Skinny
Ive been freakishly skinny my entire life because theres a hole in my butt.#joke #short
