Popular jokes (32386 to 32400)Jokes sorted by popularity on social networks. Popularity is sum of all all comments, likes, pluses, tweets, etc. is new measure, independant from rating with our star rating system. |
Questions for the Ages...
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Questions for the Ages...A stitch in time saves nine what?
After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before getting out of the water?
What do chickens think we taste like?
What do people in China call their good plates?
Do crematoriums give discounts to burn victims?
What is the speed of dark?
A Drink Problem
I have got a drink problem.....I've got two hands, but only one mouth.....
A tourist stopped a local in a...
A tourist stopped a local in a village he was visiting and asked; “what is the quickest way to the lake? The local thought for a while. “Are you walking or driving?” he asked the tourist. “I’m driving.” “That is the quickest way!” the local said.Scary Collection 51
A witch joke
What do witches cats like for breakfast?
Mice krispies!
A witch joke
Who went into a witche's den and came out alive?
The witch!
A witch joke
What do you get if you cross a witches cat with a canary?
A peeping tom!
A witch joke
Why is "S" the witches favourite letter?
Because he turns cream into scream!
A witch joke
What do you get if you cross a sorceress with a millionaire?
A very witch person!
A witch joke
What is a witches favorite drink?
Tea-hee-hee!
A witch joke
What's a witches favorite film?
My Fear Lady!
Survival techniques
A Scout Master was teaching his boy scouts about survival in the desert.
"What are the three most important things you should bring with you in case you get lost in the desert?" he asked. Several hands went up, and many important things were suggested such as food, matches, etc.
Then one little boy in the back eagerly raised his hand. "Yes Timmy, what are the three most important things you would bring with you?" asked the Scout Master.
Timmy replied: "A compass, a canteen of water, and a deck of cards."
"Why's that Timmy?"
"Well," answered Timmy, "the compass is to find the right direction, the water is to prevent dehydration..."
"And what about the deck of cards?" asked the Scout Master impatiently.
"Well, Sir, as soon as you start playing Solitaire, someone is bound to come up behind you and say, "Put that red nine on top of that black ten!"
“When the spammer's c...
“When the spammer's computer exploded, it blew him to kingdom.com.”
Business one-liners 18
By the time you can make ends meet, they've moved the ends.By the time you have the right answers, no one is asking you questions.
By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to work twelve hours a day. - Robert Frost
Cant produces countercant.
Capitalism is based on the assumption that you can win.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
Chipped dishes never break.
Clearly stated instructions will consistently produce multiple interpretations.
Cocaine is nature's way of telling you you have too much money.
Commit suicide. A hundred thousand lemmings cannot be wrong.
The story about the boy who ha...
The story about the boy who had imaginary insect friends was very knew antsed.Scarecrows
Scarecrows don't frighten me nor do their empty threads.Sounds effects pioneer
Sounds effects pioneer Thomas Dolby graduated from university magna cum loud. #joke #short
Can I Take His Place?
An attorney telephoned the governor just after midnight, insisting that he talk to him regarding a matter of utmost urgency.
An aide eventually agreed to wake up the governor.
"So, what is it?" grumbled the governor.
"Judge Garber has just died" said the attorney, "and I want to take his place."
The governor replied: "Well, it's OK with me if it's OK with the undertaker."
