Popular jokes (4441 to 4455)Jokes sorted by popularity on social networks. Popularity is sum of all all comments, likes, pluses, tweets, etc. is new measure, independant from rating with our star rating system. |
You see a gorgeous girl at a p...
You see a gorgeous girl at a party.You go up to her and say, "I am very rich. Marry me!"
That's Direct Marketing.
Youre at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl.
One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you and says,
"He's very rich. Marry him."
That's Advertising.
You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her and get her telephone number.
The next day you call and say, "Hi, Im very rich. Marry me."
That's Telemarketing.
You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl.
You get up and straighten your tie; you walk up to her and pour
her a drink.
You open the door for her; pick up her bag after she drops it,
offer her a ride, and then say,
"By the way, I'm very rich. Will you marry me?"
That's Public Relations.
You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl.
She walks up to you and says, "You are very rich."
That's Brand Recognition.
You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her and say, "I'm rich. Marry me"
She gives you a nice hard slap on your face.
That's Customer Feedback!!!!
Two elderly gentlemen from a r...
Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a palm tree when one turns to the other and says... "Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you' re about my age, how do you feel?" Slim says, "I feel just like a new-born baby."
"Really!? Like a new-born baby!?"
"Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants."
Two Irishmen robbed a bank
Two Irishmen robbed a bank and messed it up, managing to escape with two sacks that they found on the floor. And they take one sack each. After awhile they meet again and one asks the other, "What did you find in your sack?"
"Ten million pounds!"
"Wow... that's a lot! What did you do with the cash?"
"I bought a house. How about your sack?"
"Bah... it was full of bills."
"And what did you do with them?"
"Eh, well... little by little, I'm paying them off..."
A sweet little boy surprised h...
A sweet little boy surprised his grandmother one morning and brought her a cup of coffee. He made it himself and he was so proud. Anxiously, he waited to hear the verdict. The grandmother in all her life had never had such a bad cup of coffee. As she forced down the last sip, his grandmother noticed three of those little green army guys were in the bottom of the cup. She asked, "Honey, why would three of your little army men be in the bottom of my cup?"
Her grandson replied, "You know grandma, it's like on TV. 'The best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup'."
Take the Books Too
The bank robbers tied and gagged the employees in one room and the manager in his office. On their way out they noticed the manager was making desperate noises to catch their attention.
Moved by curiosity, one of the burglars loosened the gag and heard the man’s plead, “Please take the books too, I’m $5000 short!”
Really funny jokes-Struggling actor
“Well,” one of the officer's says, “It seems that your agent came by your house earlier today and while he was here he attacked your wife, assaulted your children, beat your dog and burned your house to the ground.”
The actor is struck speechless, his jaw hanging open in disbelief,“My agent came to my house?”
Chuck Norris doesn't cheat dea...
Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death. He wins fair and square.
Fumbling With His Keys
One night a police officer was staking out a particularly rowdy bar for possible DUI violations. At closing time, he saw a fellow tumble out of the bar, trip on the curb, and try his keys in five different cars before he found his.
Then he sat in the front seat fumbling around with his keys for several minutes. Everyone else left the bar and drove off.
Finally he started his engine and began to pull away. The police officer was waiting for him. He stopped the driver, read him his rights and administered the Breathalyzer test.
The results showed a reading of 0.0. The puzzled officer demanded to know how that could be.
The driver replied, "Tonight I'm the designated decoy.”
Stay out of the dorms...
On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules.
"The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $25 the first time."
He continued, "Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $50. Being caught a third time will incur a hefty fine of $100. Are there any questions?"
At this point, a male student in the crowd inquired:
"How much for a season pass?"
A woman goes into a butcher's...
A woman goes into a butcher's..."I'd like an oxtail please".
"Certainly", replies the butcher, "Once upon a time there was an ox..."
Late for Work
Tom had this problem of getting up late in the morning and was always late for work. His boss was mad at him and threatened to fire him if he didn't do something about it. So Tom went to his doctor who gave him a pill and told him to take it before he went to bed.
Tom slept well and in fact beat the alarm in the morning. He had a leisurely breakfast and drove cheerfully to work. "Boss," he said, "The pill actually worked!"
"That's all fine" said the boss. "But where were you yesterday?"
