Join us on
WhatsApp
Join us on
Telegram
Join us on
Viber

Popular jokes (4516 to 4530)

Jokes sorted by popularity on social networks. Popularity is sum of all all comments, likes, pluses, tweets, etc. is new measure, independant from rating with our star rating system.

Smoking sisters

Two nuns were in the back of the convent smoking a cigarette, when one said,

'It's bad enough that we have to sneak out here to smoke, but it really is a problem getting rid of the butts so that Mother Superior doesn't find them.'

The second nun said, 'I've found a marvelous invention called a condom which works really well for this problem. You just open the packet up, take out the condom, and put the cigarette butt in, roll it up, and dispose of it all later.'

The first nun was quite impressed and asked where she could find them.

'You get them at a chemist, sister. Just go and ask the pharmacist for them.'

The next day the good sister went to the chemist and walked up to the counter.

'Good morning, sister,' the chemist said, 'what can I do for you today?'

'I'd like some condoms please,' said the nun.

The chemist was a little taken aback, but recovered soon enough and asked,

'How many boxes would you like? There are 12 to a box.'

'I'll take six boxes. That should last about a week,' said the nun.

The pharmacist was truly flabbergasted by this time and was almost afraid to ask any more questions. But his professionalism prevailed and he asked in a clear voice.

'Sister, what size condoms would you like? We have large, extra large, and the big liar size.'

The sister thought for a minute and finally said:

'I'm not certain, perhaps you could recommend a good size for a Camel?'

#joke #animal #camel #mother
Joke | Source: Jokes of the day - Taken from Bartender's guide to Jokes, Drinks, and Poker - once good site, no longer active.
  • Currently 7.87/10

Rating: 7.9/10 (15)

Senior Citizen

Two businessmen in Florida were sitting down for a break in their soon-to-be new store. As yet, the store wasn't ready, with only a few shelves set up. One said to the other, ' I bet any minute now some senior citizen is going to walk by, put his face to the window, and ask what we're selling.'
No sooner were the words out of his mouth when, sure enough, a curious senior citizen walked to the window, had a peek, and in a soft voice asked
"What are you sellin' here?"
One of the men replied sarcastically, "We're selling assh*les."
Without skipping a beat, the old timer said, "You're doing well. Only two left."

#joke
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Originally taken from site that work no more - Get Frank - NZ's Online Men's Lifestyle Magazine for Fashion, Health, Lifestyle, Recreation Articles & Reviews, Funny jokes and photos updated daily
  • Currently 7.05/10

Rating: 7.1/10 (20)

Question And Answer

Q: What is the definition of an accountant?
A: Someone who solves a problem, you didn't know you had, in a way you don't understand.


Q: What does an accountant do for birth control?
A. He talks about his business.


Q: What is an extroverted accountant?
A: One who looks at your shoes while he's talking to you instead of his own.


Q: What is an insolvency practitioner?
A: Someone who arrives after the battle and bayonets all the wounded.


There are just three types of accountants:
Those who can count and those who can't.


Q: Why did the auditor cross the road?
A: Because he looked in the file and that's what they did last year.


Q: How do you drive an accountant completely insane?
A: Tie him to a chair, stand in front of him and fold up a road map the wrong way.


Q: What do accountants suffer from that ordinary people don't?
A: Depreciation.


Q: What is the difference between a lawyer and an accountant?
A: The accountant knows he is boring.


Q: How was copper wire invented?
A: Two accountants were arguing over a penny.


Q: What's an auditor?
A: Someone who arrives after the battle and bayonets all the wounded.


Q: When does a person decide to become an accountant?
A: When he realizes he doesn't have the charisma to succeed as an undertaker.


Q: What's the definition of a good tax accountant?
A: Someone who has a loophole named after him.


Q: What's an extroverted accountant?
A: One who looks at your shoes while he's/she's talking to you instead of his/her own.


Accountants don't die, they just lose their balance.


Q: What's an accountant's idea of trashing his/her hotel room?
A: Refusing to fill out the guest comment card.


Q: What's a shy and retiring accountant?
A: An accountant who is half a million shy and that's why he's/she's retiring.


Q: What's an actuary?
A: An accountant without the sense of humor.


Q: Why do some accountants decide to become actuaries?
A: They find bookkeeping too exciting.


Q: What do actuaries do to liven up their office party?
A: Invite an accountant.


Q: What is GAAP (generally accepted accounting principles)?
A: The difference between accounting theory and practice.
#joke #lawyer
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 4.88/10

Rating: 4.9/10 (8)

I'm nervous...

"I'm nervous... I've never been with a prostitute before..."
"It's alright baby, just tell me what you like."
"I like turtles."
#joke #short #animal #turtle
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 7.44/10

Rating: 7.4/10 (9)

When can we see the baby?

With all the new technology regarding fertility, an 88-year-old woman was able to give birth to a baby recently.

When she was discharged from the hospital and went home, various relatives came to visit. “May we see the new baby?” one of them asked.

“Not yet,” said the mother. “I'll make coffee and we can visit for a while first.”

Another half hour passed before another relative asked, “May we see the new baby now?”

“No, not yet,” said the mother.

A while later and again the guests asked, “May we see the baby now?”

“No, not yet,” replied the mother.

Growing impatient, they asked, “Well, when can we see the baby?”

“When it cries!” she told them.

"When it cries?” they gasped. “Why do we have to wait until it cries?”

“Because, I forgot where I put it.”

#joke #drinks #coffee #mother
Joke | Source: Jokes - Used to be - Pacific products joke of the day, but site no longer works.
  • Currently 8.36/10

Rating: 8.4/10 (14)

Only one kiss per yard

Walking up to a department store's fabric counter, the pretty girl said, "I would like to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?"

"Only one kiss per yard," replied the male clerk with a smirk.

"That's fine," said the girl. "I'll take ten yards."

With expectation and anticipation written all over his face, the clerk quickly measured out the cloth, wrapped it up, then teasingly held it out.

The girl snapped up the package, pointed to the old geezer standing beside her, and smiled, "Grandpa will pay the bill."

#joke
Joke | Source: Jokes - Used to be - Pacific products joke of the day, but site no longer works.
  • Currently 8.29/10

Rating: 8.3/10 (24)

When I saw the depressed mathe...

When I saw the depressed mathematician, I asked “What sum adder with you?”
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 6.50/10

Rating: 6.5/10 (4)

The clown with a split persona

The clown with a split personality was a bit of a Juggle and Hyde character.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 5.33/10

Rating: 5.3/10 (3)

First Time at a Unitarian Service

A man goes to a Unitarian Universalist service for the first time, and later is asked what he thought of it. "Darndest church I ever went to," he replies, "the only time I heard the name of Jesus Christ was when the janitor fell down the stairs."
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
  • Currently 8.56/10

Rating: 8.6/10 (16)

The Alphabet

I’m trying to learn the alphabet but I can’t get past X.
I don’t know why.

#joke #short
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 6.85/10

Rating: 6.8/10 (13)

A boy was having a lot of diff...

A boy was having a lot of difficulty in French class. To encourage him, his teacher said, "You'll know you're really beginning to get it when you start dreaming in French."
The boy ran into class all excited one day, saying, "Teacher, teacher! I had a dream last night and everyone was talking in French!" "Great!" said the teacher; "what were they saying?" "I don't know," the boy replied; "I couldn't understand them."
#joke
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 6.17/10

Rating: 6.2/10 (6)

Proof That Man Evolved from Apes

Proof That Man Evolved from Apes
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Friars Club - For over 25 years the Sunshine Committee has been providing entertainment, companionship and love to children's and senior citizens centers in the NY area.
  • Currently 6.17/10

Rating: 6.2/10 (6)

McDonalds Food Ideas

Food Ideas Rejected By McDonalds:

  1. Chicken McBobbitts
  2. Salmon McNella
  3. Tom & Roseanne "Together Forever" Value Meal
  4. Shirley McLean Burger
  5. McMenudo
  6. Filet o' Gefilte Fish
  7. Way Too Happy Meal
  8. Lion King Hairball Happy Meal
  9. Them Ain't Nuggets!
  10. McKitty Sandwich
  11. Boutrous Boutrous Burger
  12. Rocky Mountain McOysters
  13. McSpleen
  14. The Depressed Meal
  15. Filet O' Flesh
  16. McShrooms
  17. Bob Barker's Happy Pants Meal
  18. McTonya Club Sandwich
  19. Grumpy Meal, Dopey Meal, and Sneezy Meal

#joke #animal #lion #chicken #fish #food #sandwich #burger #meal
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 4.10/10

Rating: 4.1/10 (10)

A taekwondo crime fi...

“A taekwondo crime fighter needs a good sidekick.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 6.85/10

Rating: 6.8/10 (13)

Blind Skydivers

Q: Why don't blind people skydive?

A: It scares the crap out of their seeing-eye dogs.

Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 5.33/10

Rating: 5.3/10 (3)

Jokes Archive

<>April 2025
SunMonTueWedThuFriSat
  12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
27282930   
NOTE: All jokes on this web site are property of the sites they are collected from. Web site Jokes of the day is not responsible for content of jokes. We are not trying to offend, just looking for a good laugh!! If you are offended by any of the jokes, please complain to the site jokes are coming from.
This site uses cookies to store information on your computer. Some are essential to help the site properly. Others give us insight into how the site is used and help us to optimize the user experience. See our privacy policy.