Popular jokes (7081 to 7095)Jokes sorted by popularity on social networks. Popularity is sum of all all comments, likes, pluses, tweets, etc. is new measure, independant from rating with our star rating system. |
Chuck Norris knows Victoria's ...
Chuck Norris knows Victoria's Secret.#joke #short #chuck-norris
Confucius Say ...
Confucius say, "When you are angry at neighbor, walk a mile in his shoes. Then you will be a mile away from him, and you will have his shoes!"
#joke #short
Paul Varghese: Buying a Convertible
I was actually thinking about buying a convertible... But then I thought, what if I was at a stoplight -- how would I avoid the homeless guy?#joke #short
Neverland search
Police raided the Neverland ranch of Michael Jackson again.He was reported to be so upset, he dangled himself over a balcony.
#joke #short #policeman
Conversion Dilemma
A Jewish man goes and visits a Rabbi about a personal concern of his."Rabbi," he says, "I am so upset about my son, I don't know what to do. I raised him a good Jew, taught him the Torah, and instructed him about the Sabbath. Well, I just learned at this last Passover that he converted to Catholicism. Please tell me what I should do to reason with him!"The Rabbi answers: "Funny you should mention this. The exact same thing happened to my son. I taught him everything I know to make him follow in my footsteps and become a good Rabbi like me, and the next thing I know, he converted to Catholicism and became a Priest! I truly don't know what to tell you: maybe we should ask Yahweh for some insights."To two men started praying: "Yahweh, G-d almighty, Creator of the Universe, please come to our rescue. Our firstborn sons have converted to Catholicism! What should we do?"A thundering voice responds: "WELL, TELL ME ABOUT IT!!"#joke
An Australian was in Ireland. ...
An Australian was in Ireland. On his way to Belfast, he stoppedat a bar and asked one of the locals, "What's the quickest way
to Belfast?" The Irishmen asked, "Are you walking or driving?"
The Australian replied, "I'm driving!" The Irishman said, "Aye,
that'd be the quickest way!"
#joke #short
The Most Interesting Word In The English Language
The Most Interesting Word In The English Language....#joke #short
Neal Brennan: Shut It Down
If you work in porn, I dont know if you and your coworkers know this, but we have enough porn. You dont have to keep making it. You did a great job, we appreciate your service, but you can shut it down.#joke #short
Adult jokes-Man in the convent
After the morning prayer at the convent of the nuns, the head nun made a startling announcement.
She said, "I have reason to believe a man entered the convent last night."
All the nuns go "Ohhh", except for one who goes "hee hee hee".
The head nun goes on, "We found a condom in the garden."
All the nuns go "Ohhh", except for one who goes "hee hee hee".
The head nun continues "There was a hole in that condom."
All the nuns go "hee hee hee", except for one who goes "Ohhh".
She said, "I have reason to believe a man entered the convent last night."
All the nuns go "Ohhh", except for one who goes "hee hee hee".
The head nun goes on, "We found a condom in the garden."
All the nuns go "Ohhh", except for one who goes "hee hee hee".
The head nun continues "There was a hole in that condom."
All the nuns go "hee hee hee", except for one who goes "Ohhh".
#joke
A Game Of Animal Football
The animals were bored. Finally, the lion had an idea. "I know a really exciting game that the humans play called football. I've seen it on T.V."
He proceeded to describe it to the rest of the animals and they all got excited about it so they decided to play. They went out to the field and chose up teams and were ready to begin.
The lion's team received. They were able to get two first downs and then had to punt. The mule punted and the rhino was back deep for the kick. He caught the ball, lowered his head and charged. First, he crushed a roadrunner, then two rabbits. He gored a wildebeast, knocked over two cows, and broke through to daylight, scoring six.
Unfortunately, they lacked a placekicker, and the score remained 6 - 0.
Late in the first half the lion's team scored a touchdown and the mule kicked the extra point. The lion's team led at halftime 7 - 6. In the locker room, the lion gave a peptalk.
"Look you guys. We can win this game. We've got the lead and they only have one real threat. We've got to keep the ball away from the rhino, he's a killer. Mule, when you kick off be sure to keep it away from the rhino."
The second half began. Just as the mule was about to kick off, the rhino's team changed formation and the ball went directly to the rhino. Once again, the rhino lowered his head and was off running. First, he stomped two gazelles. He skewered a zebra, and bulldozed an elephant out of the way. It looked like he was home free. Suddenly at the twenty yard line, he dropped over dead. There were no other animals in sight anywhere near him. The lion went over to see what had happened. Right next to the dead rhino he saw a small centipede.
"Did you do this?" he asked the centipede.
"Yeah, I did." the centipede replied.
The lion retorted, "Where were you during the first half?"
"I was putting on my shoes."
To Do List
When I returned home from college for a break, I noticed a paper posted on the refrigerator. It listed some goals my dad had set for himself: Help wife more; lose weight; be more productive at work.I promptly added: “Send Michelle money every month.”
A few days later my brother wrote: “Make payments on car for Jason.”
Then my boyfriend joined in with: “Buy Tom a Jeep.”
Finally my father added a new goal to his amended list: “Wean kids.”
#joke #father