Join us on
WhatsApp
Join us on
Telegram
Join us on
Viber
Blonde jokes - jokes about blondes (1 to 15)

Blonde jokes - jokes about blondes (1 to 15)

Jokes about blondes. These are funny jokes with blondes! These are the jokes listed 1 to 15.

Winter is here! Collection of 76 Winter Jokes

1. Why did the snowman hold up his arms?
He was told to freeze.

2. What did the black ice ask the car?
Wanna go for a spin?

3. How do you know when a snowman is scared?
He's sitting in yellow snow.

4. What did the mitten say to the hand?
I've got you covered.

5. Why did the reindeer have a limp?
He took a snowfall.

6. What's the difference between ice and icicle?
Ice has noel.

7. Why is a sled always discouraged?
It's continuously on a downward slide.

8. What do you call a cold thief?
A brrrr-glar.

9. Why was there a puddle in front of the fireplace?
A snowman was trying to warm himself.

10. What is the purpose of bundling up?
Anti-freeze.

11. How does Jack Frost keep warm?
With a thick blanket of snow.

Christmas is almost here, check out Christmas jokes in our Christmas jokes collection

12. Why did the snowman leave?
He had a meltdown.

13. What happens when you catch a cold?
You get cabin fever.

14. Where does a snowman store his cash?
In a snowbank.

15. What is the best way to build a snow fort?
I-gloo it together.

16. Why does Frosty's wife look so young?
She uses cold cream on her face.

17. What happens when a mosquito lands on a snowman?
He gets frostbite.

18. Why did the two snowmen part ways?
One was just too flaky.

19. When is an igloo a bad investment?
During global warming.

20. What are little snowmen called?
Chill-dren.

21. What is a snowman's favorite breakfast cereal?
Frosted Flakes.

22. When does winter begin?
When autumn leaves.

23. How did the snowman get flattened?
Instead of his usual snow shower, he went for an avalanche.

24. Why are polar bears so big?
Because they snack on ice cream and snow cones.

25. How does a snowman lose weight?
He drinks only hot chocolate.

26. What has the best chance of surviving a fall?
Snow.

27. How does Jack Frost stay so thin?
He only eats iceberg lettuce.

28. How does Santa like his cookies?
With lots of ice-ing.

29. What fish do you catch in the winter?
Frozen fish sticks.

30. Why should you invite an ice fisherman to your party?
To help break the ice.

31. What is sure to stop a snowball fight?
A hail storm.

32. How does a snowman travel through town?
On bi-cicle.

33. Who is Frosty's favorite aunt?
Aunt Artica.

34. Why was the snowman looking through the carrots?
He was picking his nose.

35. What do you call a hot-tempered snowman?
A puddle.

36. How did the man feel after being buried under the avalanche?
A bit under the weather.

37. How did the snowman know he was getting sick?
He had the chills.

38. What type of beer is served in Iceland?
Only drafts.

39. How do mountain tops handle the cold?
They put on their snow caps.

40. What's easy to catch and hard to get rid of?
A cold.

41. Knock, knock. Who's there? Snow. Snow who?
Snow body.

42. When will you see snowmen dance?
At a snowball.

43. What did the snowman's wife put over the baby crib?
A snowmobile.

44. What gift should you never give a snowman?
An electric blanket.

45. How do you know when you have angered a snowman?
You'll get the cold shoulder.

46. What do you call a reindeer without eyes?
I have no eye deer.

47. What did a police officer ask a suspect in the Arctic?
Where were you the night of September to March?

48. What do you call 5 snowshoe hares bouncing backward in the snow?
A receding hare line.

49. Who protects snowmen?
Snow angels.

50. Why should you wear a helmet during a hail storm?
So you don't get knocked out cold.

51. Why are snowmen so well-behaved?
They don't want to end up in the greenhouse.

52. What did the scarf say to the hat?
You go on ahead and I'll just hang around.

53. How do snowmen get smarter?
From the winternet.

54. What do the elves eat for lunch in the North Pole?
Cold cuts and chilly.

55. What did one snowflake say to another?
Let's stick together.

56. How can you tell when a snowman is embarrassed?
He begins to slush.

57. What song do you sing to honor a snowman?
Freeze a jolly good fellow.

58. What is the elf's favorite time at the workshop?
Snow and tell.

59. How do you defend yourself against a snowman?
With a heat gun.

60. What do you call a snapshot from the North Pole?
A polaroid.

61. Why is it easy to build a blonde snowman?
It's made up of flakes.

62. What do trees say after winter is over?
What a re-leaf!

63. Why do polar bears live by themselves?
They like the ice-olation.

64. Which is faster, hot or cold?
Hot. You can easily catch a cold.

65. What do you call a penguin in the city?
Lost.

66. What does a snowman take when he's afraid of melting?
A chill pill.

67. What dilemma does a snowman with achy muscles have?
Wondering whether or not IcyHot rub is a good idea.

68. Why do reindeer have fur?
Because snowsuits don't fit them.

69. What are the chances of a white Christmas?
Pretty good. It's Decembrrrrr.

70. What happens when you cross a wizard with a blizzard?
You get a cold spell.

71. Why do ski socks never make plans?
They're afraid they'll get cold feet.

72. How do you stay warm in any room during the winter?
Go into a corner. It's always 90 degrees.

73. How do you get a snowman to disappear?
Give him a warm hug.

74. What happens when you ask Santa for money?
He leaves cold hard cash.

75. Why did the orchestra set up in the snow?
They wanted to play "cool jazz."

76. How do you know when there is a snowman in your bed?
You wake up wet!

#joke #blonde #policeman #christmas #animal #bear #penguin #reindeer #fish #mosquito #food #breakfast #lunch #carrot #chocolate #drinks #beer
Joke | Source: Jokes of The Day - By Jokes of the day visitor
  • Currently 1.57/10

Rating: 1.6/10 (7)

World Pasta Day day jokes

October 25 is World Pasta Day! Have some fun with pasta and pasta jokes!

A blonde walks into a library and she asked the librarian “Do you have pasta?”
The librarian rolled her eyes and answered “Miss, this is the library.”
The blonde whispers “Do you have pasta?”

Why couldn’t the pasta get into his house?
Because he had gnocchi!

What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta.

Those that forget the pasta are doomed to reheat it.

Did you hear about the Italian chef that died?
He pasta way. So sad that he ran out of thyme.

Why did the man get fired from the pasta factory?
He made a fusilli mistakes.

Where did the spaghetti go to dance?
A meat ball!

Why did the pasta call up his friend?
He was feeling canneloni.

What kind of pasta can make all your wishes come true?
Fettugenie.

How come no one ever invites ravioli to a party?
He’s a little square.

Why does pasta always have to pay so much for car insurance?
Because his car always ends up al dente.

Do you have any other pasta jokes?
I’ll give you a penne for your thoughts.

Some pasta puns

I’m such a hopeless ramen-tic.

Noodles are part of my daily rotini.

No need to be ravi-lonely, I’m here.

I’m crazy pho noodles!

I cannelloni do so much

Don’t make fusilli mistakes.

That is tortellini awesome!

Don’t judge me because udon know me

Come and spaghet it.

Spaghett out of my way!

You just spaghet-me!

The battle of spaghettisburg.

I walked right pasta and didn’t even notice!

Life is full of pasta-bilities.

Can you pasta sauce please?

This too shall pasta.

You mac me smile.

#joke #blonde #food #meat
Joke | Source: Jokes of The Day - By Jokes of the day visitor
  • Currently 4.25/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (4)

25 jokes that blend well with coffee

A customer walks into a coffee shop. She asks the barista, “How much for a cup of coffee?”
The barista points to the menu and says, “Five dollars for a cup of coffee and refills are free.”
The customer responds, “Thanks. I’ll have a refill.”

Don’t ever let anyone tell you fairy tales aren’t real. I wake up every morning to drink a potion made from magic beans that brings me back to life.

Every morning, I see this exhausted woman who looks like she would murder someone for a cup of coffee. I really should move that mirror.

Q: What’s it called when you steal someone’s coffee?
A: A mugging!

Q: Why did the espresso keep checking his watch?
A: Because he was pressed for time.

Q: What did the coffee addict name her cats?
A: Cream and Sugar.

Q: What did the coffee say about its late assignment?
A: Better latte than never!

Q: What do you call a sad cup of coffee?
A: A depresso

Q: What happened when one friend forgot to brew her pal a coffee?
A: Their friendship came to a bitter end.

Q: How are coffee beans like teenagers?
A: They are always getting grounded.

Q: What do you call it when you walk into a cafe you’re sure you’ve been to before?
A: Déjà brew.

Thanks a latte for me being my friend

You mocha me very happy.

You’re brew-ti-ful.

A woman walks into a coffee shop carrying a big chunk of asphalt under her arm. At the counter she says, “I’ll take a large latte for myself, please, and one for the road.”

There are two types of people in this world: People who love Starbucks and liars.

If you replace your morning coffee with green tea ….You can lose up to 87% of what little joy you feel in the morning.

She drank so much coffee at work, she considered it part of her daily grind.

I do some of my best thinking over coffee. I tend to have a latte on my mind.

A yawn is just a silent scream for coffee.

Coffee and I are the perfect blend.

If the coffee is decaf, we’re gonna have a latte problems.

A tall blonde walks into Starbucks. The barista says, “Hey, we have a drink named after you!”
The blonde says, “You have a drink named Susan?”

Procaffeinating (n). – the tendency to not start anything until you’ve had your coffee.

I like my men like I like my coffee…Tall, dark and rich

#joke #blonde #animal #cat #food #beans #sugar #drinks #coffee #tea
Joke | Source: Jokes of The Day - By Jokes of the day visitor
  • Currently 8.25/10

Rating: 8.3/10 (8)

Piercing Jokes

June 28th is International Body Piercing Day! Find joke about it!

A man walked into a bar... and a table... and a chair.
Because he had so many piercings in his face he could hardly see where he was going!

How did the blind woman pierce her ear?
Answering the stapler.

How do blondes pierce their ears?
They put tacks in their shoulder pads.

What do you call an actor that can put a hole in anything?
Pierce Brosnan.

How much do pirates charge to pierce someone's ears?
A buck an ear.

Why do blondes pierce their Belly Button?
Somewhere to hang the air freshener.

#internationalbodypiercingday #piercingday

#joke #blonde
Joke | Source: Hand picked jokes - Daily Jokes hand picked from various locations
  • Currently 1.50/10

Rating: 1.5/10 (8)

Fridge Jokes

June 26th is World Refrigeration Day! Find jokes about it!

What do you call an encyclopedia in the fridge?
Cold, hard facts.

What do you get if you cross a stereo and a fridge?
Very cool music.

Why is cold milk always so relaxed?
Because it chills in the fridge.

What did the ranch say to the refrigerator?
Close the door, I'm dressing.

What’s the easiest way to get a six-pack at the gym?
Take the beer from your fridge and smuggle it in.

Why did the freezer never graduate?
Because it was set on 0 degrees.

What is blue, white and cant climb mountains?
A fridge wearing a denim jacket.

How can you tell if there is an elephant in your fridge?
There are footprints in the butter.

Why did the man throw the contents of his fridge out of the window?
He wanted to see the butterfly.

Did you hear the one about the ice cube’s great escape from the freezer?
You could say it was a well thawed out plan.

Why did the freezer run away on its marriage?
It got cold feet

Is your refrigerator running?
Mine too. See you at the refrigerator race tomorrow.

How come the fridge is always emotionally stable?
Because it’s always chill.

What do you call something that runs but never gets anywhere?
A fridge.

Why was the blonde sitting in the fridge?
Because the label on her juice said to refrigerate after opening.

#RefrigerationDay #WorldRefrigerationDay

#joke #blonde #animal #butterfly #elephant #food #drinks #milk #juice #beer #sport #gym
Joke | Source: Hand picked jokes - Daily Jokes hand picked from various locations
  • Currently 1.67/10

Rating: 1.7/10 (6)

14 new blonde jokes

1.Two blondes walk into a bar…
You would have thought one of them would have seen it.

2. Why did the blonde put lipstick on her forehead?
She was desperately trying to make up her mind.

3. Why was the blonde's belly button sore?
Her boyfriend was blonde too.

4. Did you hear about the blonde who tried to blow up her husband's car?
She burnt her lips on the exhaust pipe.

5. What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you?
Pull the pin out and throw it back!

6. What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you?
Run like hell; she's got a grenade in her teeth!

7. Blonde: "Do you have any children?"
Colleague: "Yes, I have one that's just under two."
Blonde: "I might be blonde, but I know how to count."

8. Why did the blonde get fired from her job packaging M&Ms?
She kept throwing out all the ‘Ws'.

9. I found my blonde girlfriend painting the spare bedroom, wearing my coat and hers.
She was sweating buckets.
When I asked her why, she said it was because the can said "best results with two coats"!

10. What's blonde and dead in a closet?
The hide-and-seek champion from 1995.

11. What do you give a blonde who has everything?
Penicillin.

12. Blonde: "What does IDK stand for?"
Brunette: "I don't know."
Blonde: "OMG, nobody does!"

13. Friend: Have you met my identical twin sister yet?
Blonde: No, what does she look like?

14. Why can't you tell a blonde a knock-knock joke?
Because they keep getting up to answer the door.

#joke #blonde
Joke | Source: Jokes of The Day - By Jokes of the day visitor
  • Currently 7.50/10

Rating: 7.5/10 (2)

Why does Ariel wear seashells ... and few more new jokes

Daughter: "dad, why does Ariel wear seashells"
Dad: "because b-shells are too small and d-shells are too big"

A police officer just knocked on my door and told me that my dogs are chasing people on bikes.
That's ridiculous, because my dogs don't even own bikes.

In the past, your last name often reflected your profession.
Tailors - taylor, Blacksmith - Smith, ect.
So what the heck was a Dickinson?

Wife asked, "Can you get some bleach, washing powder and some shake and vac while you're out?"
"Can you not wait until you’ve opened your Birthday presents tomorrow?"

Had a look on a dating site. Possible match, similar interests, described herself as 5 ft 3 blue eyes, blonde hair…
Not sure I want to date someone with 3 blue eyes though!

I hate when my wife gets mad at me for being lazy.
It’s not like I did anything.

Joke | Source: John Chris - Funny jokes collected from all around
  • Currently 9.00/10

Rating: 9.0/10 (14)

25 years of marriage

After 25 years of marriage, I took a look at my wife one day and said:

"Honey, 25 years ago, we had a cheap apartment, a cheap car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10-inch black-and-white TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 25-year-old blonde.

Now, we have a nice house, a nice car, a big bed and a big-screen plasma TV, but I'm sleeping with a 50-year-old woman. It seems to me that you're not holding up your side of things."

But my wife is a very reasonable woman.

She told me to go out and find a hot 25-year-old blonde, and she'd make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap apartment, driving a cheap car and sleeping on a sofa bed. 

#joke #blonde #food #honey
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Originally taken from site that work no more - Get Frank - NZ's Online Men's Lifestyle Magazine for Fashion, Health, Lifestyle, Recreation Articles & Reviews, Funny jokes and photos updated daily
  • Currently 9.07/10

Rating: 9.1/10 (15)

Soda Machine

One day a blonde went up to a soda machine, put in some money, and a soda came out. She got really excited and started to put more money into the machine. The more and more she did it, the more the soda came out.

After a while someone walked up to her and asked if they could please get a soda.

The blonde looked at them angrily and said: "Get out of my face, I'm winning!"

#joke #blonde
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Originally taken from site that work no more - Get Frank - NZ's Online Men's Lifestyle Magazine for Fashion, Health, Lifestyle, Recreation Articles & Reviews, Funny jokes and photos updated daily
  • Currently 6.80/10

Rating: 6.8/10 (10)

Christmas tree search

There were two blondes who went deep into the frozen woods searching for a Christmas tree.
After hours of subzero temperatures and a few close calls with hungry wolves, one blonde turned to the other and said, "I'm chopping down the next tree I see. I don't care whether it's decorated or not!"
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 7.32/10

Rating: 7.3/10 (22)

Jokes Archive

NOTE: All jokes on this web site are property of the sites they are collected from. Web site Jokes of the day is not responsible for content of jokes. We are not trying to offend, just looking for a good laugh!! If you are offended by any of the jokes, please complain to the site jokes are coming from.
This site uses cookies to store information on your computer. Some are essential to help the site properly. Others give us insight into how the site is used and help us to optimize the user experience. See our privacy policy.