Blonde jokes - jokes about blondes (631 to 645)

Post Office

A blonde goes to the post office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards. She says to the clerk, "May I have 50 Christmas stamps?"
The clerk says, "What denomination?"

The woman says, "God help us. Has it come to this? Give me 6 Catholic, 12 Presbyterian, 10 Lutheran and 22 Baptists."

Raking

Q:

How Did The Blonde Break Her Leg While Raking?

A:

She Fell Out Of The Tree

Blonde and Pizza

A blonde orders a pizza and the clerk asks if he should cut it in six or 12 pieces.
She responds, "Six, please. I could never eat 12 pieces."

Blonde on Fire

A blonde's house was on fire. She called 911 and started screaming, "Help me, please! My house is burning! Hurry!"

The operator said, "Okay, calm down and we'll be there soon. How do we get to your house?"

The blonde answered, "Duh, in that big red truck!"

A blonde goes into a music store and...

A blonde goes into a music store and asks the guy who works there where the country music CD's are.

The salesman replies, "Try the other side."

So the blonde moves to his other ear and says, "Where are the country music CD's?"

21, 21, 21

There's a brunette walking down a set of railroad tracks saying,"21, 21, 21..."

Then a blonde pulls up, gets out of her car, and says, "What are you doing?"

The brunette replies, "Just counting."

The blonde says, "May I join you?"

"Yes," replies the brunette.

So the blonde and the brunette are now both walking down the railroad tracks saying," 21, 21, 21..."

A train comes and the brunette jumps off the tracks as the blonde gets hit.

After the train passes, the brunette gets back on the tracks and says,"22, 22, 22..."

Blonde and Missed Bus

She is so blonde, when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice.

What Do You Call A S

What do you call asmart blonde?

A Golden Retriever

Why did the blonde t

Why did the blonde throw bread crumbs down the toilet? To feed the toilet duck!

Bob, a 70-year-old, extremely ...

Bob, a 70-year-old, extremely wealthy widower, shows up at
the Country Club with a breathtakingly beautiful and very sexy
25-year-old blonde-haired woman who knocks everyone's socks off with her
youthful sex appeal and charm and who hangs over Bob's arm and listens
intently to his every word. His buddies at the club are all aghast. At
the very first chance, they corner him and ask, 'Bob, how'd you get the
trophy girlfriend?' Bob replies, 'Girlfriend? She's my wife!' They
are knocked over, but continue to ask. 'So, how'd you persuade her to
marry you?' 'I lied about my age', Bob replies. 'What, did you tell her
you were only 50?' Bob smiles and says, 'No, I told her I was 90.'

Tried to kill myself

There was a blonde and she went to the emergency room because she got shot in the hand.

The doctor asked her how she got shot in the hand. She replied,"I tried to kill myself."

He replies"what?"

She says, "Well,first i put the gun to my chest,then thought '"Wait I have a 500 dollar boob job,and don't want to mess it up", then I put the gun to my chin, and thought "well, I just got new dental work done, don't want that messed up", so I put the gun to my ear,and then thought, it will be really loud, so I put my hand between the gun and my ear and pulled the trigger!"

Olive

A blonde was hunched over the bar, toothpick in hand, spearing futilely at the olive in her drink. A dozen times the olive eluded her. Finally, another patron, who had been watching intently from the next stool, became exasperated and grabbed the toothpick.
"Here, this is how you do it." he said, as he easily skewered the olive.

"Big Deal," muttered the blonde. "I already had him so tired out, he couldn't get away."

Blonde Pulled Over for Speeding

A traffic cop out on patrol for the first time stops a

speeding sports car. Inside is an attractive young blonde

woman. The cop asks for identification and the girl says she

has no identification on her at all. Unsure of what to do

the cop radios for advice.

"Just stick your cock through the window." he is told.

"Are you sure?" he ask.

"Yes, just stick your cock through the window."

So the cop goes back to the car and sticks his cock through

the window.

"Oh no!" says the blonde. "Not another breathalzser test!"

TGIF

A businessman got into an elevator. When he entered, there was a blonde already inside and she greeted him by saying, 'T-G-I-F'

He smiled at her and replied,

'S-H-I-T'

She looked at him puzzled and said, 'T-G-I-F' again.

He acknowledged her remark again by answering, 'S-H-I-T.'

The blonde was trying to be friendly, so she smiled her biggest smile and said as sweetly as possible, 'T-G-I-F' another time.

The man smiled back at her and once again replied with a quizzical expression, 'S-H-I-T.'

The blonde finally decided to explain things and this time she said, 'T-G-I-F. Thank Goodness It's Friday, get it?'

The man answered, 'S-H-I-T, Sorry Honey It's Thursday.'

One-Eyed Blonde

Two blondes are walking down the road when one says "Look at that dog with one eye!"
The other blonde covers one of her eyes and says "Where?"