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Blonde jokes - jokes about blondes (646 to 660)Jokes about blondes. These are funny jokes with blondes! These are the jokes listed 646 to 660. |
Blonde With Top Down
There were two blondes the just came out of the mall. As they walked through the parking lot, they remembered that they had left the keys in the car.Realizing that they were locked out, the blondes got a hanger and tried to open the door. Hard at work, the first blonde stopped to catch her breath.
The other blonde got worried as she looked up a the sky and said, "We've got to hurry up and get in before it starts to rain. I don't want to get the seats wet because the top is down!"
Really funny jokes-Out of place
He asked the old man, How in the world did this place get a name like Hans Olaffsen's Laundry?
Old Man - That's the name of the owner.
Young Man - Who's the owner?
Old Man - I am.
Young Man - How did you get a name like Hans Olaffsen?
Old Man - Many years ago when I came to this country from Hong Kong, I was standing in line at Immigration. A man in front of me was a big blond Norwegian. The lady from Immigration asked him, What is your name? He say "Hans Olaffsen". Lady ask me, What is your name? I say Sam Ting.
Funny jokes-To the extent
...she wanted to check how long she could sleep, so she took a ruler to bed
...she thought General Motors was an army man.
...she thought there was a new CD for cats called Meow Mix.
...she studied hard for a blood test.
...she thought she had to buy a token to get into "Soul Train."
...she sold the car so she could buy gas!
...she took Bus No. 33 twice when she missed Bus No. 66
Deodorant Stick
A blonde walks into a pharmacy and asks the assistant for some bottom deodorant. The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the woman that they don't sell bottom deodorant, and never have.
Unfazed, the blonde assures the pharmacist that she has been buying the stuff from this store on a regular basis, and would like some more.
"I'm sorry," says the pharmacist: "we don't have any."
"But I always get it here," says the blonde.
"Do you have the container it comes in?" the pharmacist asks.
"Yes!" the blonde replies: "I'll go and get it."
She returns with the container and hands it to the pharmacist who looks at it and says: "This is just a normal stick of underarm deodorant."
The annoyed blonde snatches the container back and reads out loud from the container: "To apply, push up bottom."
Question and answer blond jokes
Q: If a blonde and a brunette are tossed off a building, who hits the ground first?A: The brunette. The blonde has to stop to ask for directions.
Q: What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimers disease?
A: Her IQ goes up!
Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot?
A: Bigfoot has been spotted.
Q: What does a blonde make best for dinner?
A: Reservations.
Q: What does a blonde say when you ask her if her blinker is on?
A: It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off.
Q: What do you get when you offer a blonde a penny for her thoughts?
A: Change.
Q: What does a blonde say if you blow in his/her ear?
A: "Thanks for the refill!"
Rider
After a round of golf, four ladies sat around the club house, chatting.
Seeing the ladies, the Pro approached them and asked: "How did your game go?
The first lady, a brunette, said she had a good round ... making the comment that she actually had 25 riders. The Pro was a bit perplexed not knowing what a "Rider" was.
The second was a blonde lady who quickly chimed in and said that she had a very good round as well with 16 riders.
The third lady then said that her round was average and that she only had 10 riders.
The fourth lady admitted that she played the worst round of the day and that she only had 2 riders all day long.
The Pro was completely confused not knowing what the term "rider" meant. But, because he didn't want to look dumb, he made a quick polite remark, wished the ladies well and then left.
He then approached the bartender and asked "Hey, can you tell me what these ladies are talking about when they refer to "Riders"?"
The bartender simply smiled and said..."A 'Rider" is when you hit a shot long enough to ride on the golf cart to your ball.
Policewoman
A blonde was speeding in a 35 mile per hour zone when a local policecruiser pulled her over.
The police officer who walked up to the car also happened to be a blonde.
She asked for the blonde's driver's license.
The driver searched frantically in her purse for a while and finally said to the blonde policewoman, "What does a driver's license look like?'
Irritated, the blonde cop said, "You dummy, it's got your picture on it!"
The blonde driver frantically searched her purse again and found a small, rectangular mirror down at the bottom.
She held it up to her face and said, "Aha! This must be my driver's license", then handed it to the blonde policewoman.
The blonde cop looked in the mirror, handed it back to the driver and said, "You're free to go. And, if I had known you were a police officer too, we could have avoided all of this."
my boobs
(do this on your calculator.) one day there was a Blonde who thought her boobs were 2 2 big so she went to 37th street to building number 8 and talked to Dr. double 00. She left building number eight to find she was boobless. ( turn calculator upside down to see boobless)The Three Women
There were these three women. One blonde, one red, and one brunet. They were all about to be shot. One by one. When the brunet came up, the man asked "Do you have any last words before you die?"The brunet said "No."
Then the man said, "Ok. Ready, aime..."
then before the man could finish the bunet yelled, "Earthquake!!" Then everyone ran and so escaped. Then when the red head came up, the man said, "Do you have any last words before you die?"
The red head said, "No."
Then the man said, "Ok. Ready, aime..."
then before the man could finish the red head yelled, "Tornando!!" Then everyone ran and the red head escaped. Then when the blonde came up, the man said, "Do you have any last words before you die?"
The blonde said, "No."
Then the man said, "Ok. Ready, aime..."
then before the man could finish the blonde yelled, "FIRE!!"
Can You Tell Me the Time?
"Excuse me, could you tell me the time?" asked the blonde ofa man on the street corner.
"Sure....it's three
fifteen,"he replied with a smile.
"Thanks," she said, a
puzzled look crossing her face."You know, it's the weirdest
thing-I've been asking that question all day long, and each
time I get a different answer."
