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Short jokes - funny one liners (4121 to 4160)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 4121 to 4160. |
When Life Begins
There's a big controversy on the Jewish view of exactly when life begins. In Jewish tradition, the fetus is not considered viable until after it graduates from medical school.“If your computer doe
“If your computer doesn't work, I might have some Bits and PCs that could help.”
Gallagher opened the morning n
Gallagher opened the morning newspaper and was dumbfounded to read in the obituary column that he had died.He quickly phoned his best friend, Finney.
"Did you see the paper?" asked Gallagher. "They say I died!!"
"Yes, I saw it!" replied Finney. "Where are ye callin' from?"
The Buddha's Vacuum Cleaner
Q: Why did it take the Buddha forever to vacuum his sofa?A: Because he didn't have any attachments.
A man tells his friend, "I wen
A man tells his friend, "I went to my doctor to see if he could help me give up smoking.""What did he say?"
"He suggested that every time I felt like a smoke I should reach for a bar of chocolate."
"Did that do any good?"
"No I can't get the chocolate to light."
Answering Machine Message 27
Kazoo band playing "Thus Spake Zarathustra": Thinking you were making an ordinary phone call, you have instead reached... (TA-DAAAAA!) the ANSWERING MACHINE! Leave your name and number, and we will get back to you as soon as we can.Two Kinds of People
There are two kinds of people. Those who wake up in the morning and say, "Good morning, Lord," and those who wake up in the morning and say, "Good Lord, it's morning."If you want to deliv...
“If you want to deliver a compliment, you have to address them properly.”
What am I supposed to do with this?
"What am I supposed to do with this?" grumbled a motorist as the policeman handed him a speeding ticket."Keep it," the cop said, "when you collect four of them you get a bicycle."
How accurate is this?
1. The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country.I sent my baby off t...
“I sent my baby off to the army. They put him in the infantry.”
“If someone fails doi
“If someone fails doing the Heimlich, is it fair to say that he choked?”
Knock Knock Collection 137
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Odysseus!
Odysseus who?
Odysseus the last straw!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Ogre!
Ogre who?
Ogre take a flying leap!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Ohio!
Ohio who?
Ohio Silver!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Ohio!
Ohio who?
Ohio feeling!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Okra!
Okra who?
Okra Winfrey!
Answering Machine Message 192
Hello, this is Ron. I'm not home right now, but I can take a message. Hang on a second while I get a pencil. (Open a drawer and shuffle stuff around.) OK, what would you like me to tell me?“My wife found a twen
“My wife found a twenty in my pants pocket after she washed and dried them. I had to turn her in to the authorities for money laundering.”
A recruit who wasn't really m
A recruit who wasn't really meant to be a soldier went out to the rifle range for the first time. He missed every target and most of the hills behind them.Despondent, he said to the sergeant, "I think I'll just go and shoot myself."
The sergeant said, "Better take a couple of extra bullets!"
In the first year of marriage...
In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.
Early Morning Make-Up
A wife started doing her make up as soon as she woke up.
Her husband asked the reason.
She replied, “I have locked my phone with facial recognition. And it’s not recognizing me without makeup.”
I know a lot of joke...
“I know a lot of jokes about bad pole-vaulters, but none of them seem to go over very well.”
Ted walks into a bar and shout...
Ted walks into a bar and shouts out, "So... who's the strongest person in here?"The toughest guy looks at him and says, "I am the strongest person around these parts!"
Ted politely asks, "Can you help me push my car to the gas station?"
Answering Machine Message 43
Militaristic mechanical voice: FOXTROT-LIMA-ALPHA-SIERRA-HOTEL. KEY-DESTRUCT-SEQUENCE-NOW. THIS-TERMINAL-ALSO-ACCEPTS-VOICE-MESSAGES.
Grocery store worker...
“Grocery store workers must let the customer decide if they want paper or plastic because baggers can't be choosers.”
In the Beginning…
In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth, and then He rested.Then God created man, and then they both rested.Then God created woman, and since then neither God nor man has ever rested. “The farmer who got a
“The farmer who got arrested couldn't make bale so he asked his best friend to combine his money with his so he could be set free.”
Before the internet ...
What did our parents do to kill boredom before the internet?
I asked my 26 brothers and sisters and they didn't know either
Author:DwightKSchnute“Sadly my teacher, wh
“Sadly my teacher, who could use two typewriters at one time, got fired for stereotyping.”
