|
Short jokes - funny one liners (4161 to 4200)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 4161 to 4200. |
The Jewish Boy and the Muslim Boy
David, a Jewish boy, and Ali, a Muslim boy, are having a conversation. Ali: I'm getting operated on tomorrow. David: Oh? What are they going to do? Ali: Circumcise me! David: I had that done when I was just a few days old. Ali: Did it hurt? David: I couldn't walk for a year! Can you see me?
An English man, French, Italian and German are standing at the side of a street watching a street performer.
The street performer noticed that they all have poor eye sight so he asked them whether they can see him and they responded: "Yes" "Oui" "Sì" "Ja"
Authore:Melox94Answering Machine Message 166
(Recorded directly from AT&T:) We're sorry, but the number you dialed is disconnected or no longer in service.When the two magicia...
“When the two magicians liked each other on their first date, it was love at first sleight.”
A Silent Bomb in Church
An elderly couple were in church. The wife leaned over and whispered to her husband, "I just let out a long silent fart... what should I do?"The husband replied, "Replace the batteries in your hearing aid."- Joke shared by Beliefnet member eyesoftheworldYou do not know you are dead
Remember, when you are dead, you do not know you are dead. It is only painful for others. The same applies when you are stupid
I like a drink as much as the next man. Unless the next man is Mel Gibson.
Author:Ricky GervaisBee that lives in America
What do you call a bee that lives in America?
A USB.
Author:PM_ME_UR_VULVASAUR_Why Did He Fire You?
Two neighbors were talking about work, when one asked, "Say, why did the foreman fire you?"Replied the second, "Well, you know how a foreman is always standing around and watching others do the work. My foreman got jealous. People started thinking I was the foreman."
Confucius Say ...
Confucius say, "When you are angry at neighbor, walk a mile in his shoes. Then you will be a mile away from him, and you will have his shoes!"Draw attention
“One, who is smart enough to draw attention, can easily canvass his thoughts and ideas!”
Fly for a day or?
Give a man a plane ticket and he’ll fly for a day.
Push a man from a plane and he’ll fly for the rest of his life.
Author:prash_rant
Get in shape New Year’s resolution
My New Year’s resolution is to get in shape.
I choose round
Author: Sarah Millican
What do you call whe...
“What do you call when only one twin survives during pregnancy? Survival of the fetus.”
Should Have Glasses
A policeman stops a lady and asks for her license. He says "Lady, it says here that you should be wearing glasses."The woman answered "Well, I have contacts."
The policeman replied "I don't care who you know! You're getting a ticket!"
It's been my life l...
“It's been my life long vision to become an optometrist, but I just couldn't see a way to make it happen.”
What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?
What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? - One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.
Great at making Sunday lunches
I told my friend that he'd be great at making Sunday lunches.
Because he's an excellent roaster.
Author: UnstoppablePhoenix /@MasterPhoenix
Sermon made him pay income tax
After hearing a sermon about lies and deceit, a man wrote the IRS: "I have been unable to sleep, knowing that I have cheated on my income tax. I have reviewed my taxable income and have enclosed a check for $900. If I still can't sleep, I will send the rest."
DON’T YOU FRET
A musician told me he was going to hit me with the neck of his guitar.
I replied, “Is that a fret?”
Complimentary soft drink
“Serving yourself a complimentary soft drink is a way to get emotional support.”
The art-supply store sold arti...
The art-supply store sold artists' canvas by the yard. It came in either of two widths: 36 inches or 48 inches.Customer: "Can you please cut some canvas for me?"
Clerk: "Certainly, what width?"
Customer: (confused and slightly annoyed) "Scissors?"
