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Short jokes - funny one liners (8121 to 8160)

Short jokes - funny one liners (8121 to 8160)

Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 8121 to 8160.

Everyone joins in

It's strange, isn't it. You stand in the middle of a library and go 'Aaaaaaagghhhh' and everyone just stares at you.

But you do the same thing on an airplane, and everyone joins in.

Submitted by Curtis

Edited by Tantilazing

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the day - Taken from Bartender's guide to Jokes, Drinks, and Poker - once good site, no longer active.
  • Currently 4.20/10

Rating: 4.2/10 (5)

What do you like best about me....

I asked my wife the other day what she liked best about me....

"Is it my firm, trim, athletic, body? Or, rather, is it my astounding intellect?"

She replied....

"Your sense of humor, dear."

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes - Used to be - Pacific products joke of the day, but site no longer works.
  • Currently 6.50/10

Rating: 6.5/10 (6)

SLIDESHOW #153 - Funny Photo Slideshow

Replacing Vanna

Q: Why is it so hard to replace Vanna White?

A: They can't find another blonde who knows the whole alphabet.

Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 6.14/10

Rating: 6.1/10 (7)

A nun went for a half-yearly r...

A nun went for a half-yearly routine medical checkup and the nurse got the urine samples of all patients mixed up.

After the medical checkup, the doctor informed the nun that the urine test shows she is pregnant.

The nun was shocked and cried out, "What? You can't even trust cucumbers these days."
#joke #short #doctor #food #cucumber
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 4.00/10

Rating: 4.0/10 (7)

Parade

What's long, brown and has a cumulative IQ of 80?

A Cinco De Mayo parade.

Submitted by Curtis

Edited by calamjo

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the day - Taken from Bartender's guide to Jokes, Drinks, and Poker - once good site, no longer active.
  • Currently 3.63/10

Rating: 3.6/10 (8)

“A fat pirate is a va...

“A fat pirate is a vast matey.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 6.00/10

Rating: 6.0/10 (7)

Yo mama so old, she has Jesus'...

Yo mama so old, she has Jesus' beeper number.
#joke #short #yomama
Joke | Source: Laugh Factory Network - Watch our huge library of the best stand-up comedy videos, get information on our stand-up comedians, read our joke of the day
  • Currently 4.20/10

Rating: 4.2/10 (5)

Hungry Ham Sandwich

A ham sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve food here."

#joke #short #walksintoabar #food #sandwich #ham
Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 5.88/10

Rating: 5.9/10 (8)

Blonde Cheer

Q: What's the blonde's cheer?

A: " I'm blonde, I'm

blonde, I'm B.L.O...ah, oh well..I'm blonde, I'm blonde, yea

yea yea..."

Joke | Source: Jokes of the day - Taken from Bartender's guide to Jokes, Drinks, and Poker - once good site, no longer active.
  • Currently 5.36/10

Rating: 5.4/10 (11)

Another

It is becoming a very scary world out there . . . . .

Another Famous American converts to Islam ...

It was announced today that Buckwheat,

Of Our Gang fame, Has converted To

The Muslim faith and changed his name to:

Kareem of Wheat.

I just hope he doesn't become a cereal killer!

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Florida Dude - Welcome To The Beach - new jokes every day
  • Currently 4.75/10

Rating: 4.8/10 (4)

“I had an account wit...

“I had an account with a bank in the North Pole, but they froze all my assets.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 5.86/10

Rating: 5.9/10 (7)

Does it hurt when you do this?

Doctor: Does it hurt when you do this?

Patient: Yes.

Doctor: Well, don't do that.

Joke | Source: Jokes of the day - Taken from Bartender's guide to Jokes, Drinks, and Poker - once good site, no longer active.
  • Currently 6.00/10

Rating: 6.0/10 (10)

Soft Hands

Q. What does a Jewish woman do to keep her hands soft and her nails so long and beautiful?
A. Nothing, nothing at all.
- Joke shared by Beliefnet member BeliefnetSabee
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
  • Currently 5.20/10

Rating: 5.2/10 (10)

“I don't like tops of...

“I don't like tops of stairs. They always bring me down.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 6.25/10

Rating: 6.3/10 (8)

Oooucch!!!!!!!

How do you know a blonde has a bad day?

she's playing a pencil and she cant find her recorder!

Joke | Source: Jokes of the day - Taken from Bartender's guide to Jokes, Drinks, and Poker - once good site, no longer active.
  • Currently 5.67/10

Rating: 5.7/10 (12)

Cliff-Hanger

I hate cliff-hangers! Do you know what I am going to do about it?
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Florida Dude - Welcome To The Beach - new jokes every day
  • Currently 5.67/10

Rating: 5.7/10 (3)

“The junior librarian...

“The junior librarian was reincarnated as a bookmark because he always knew his place.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 5.63/10

Rating: 5.6/10 (8)

Q: What did one tampon say to ...

Q: What did one tampon say to the other? A: Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Laugh Factory Network - Watch our huge library of the best stand-up comedy videos, get information on our stand-up comedians, read our joke of the day
  • Currently 6.14/10

Rating: 6.1/10 (7)

I want to start eating more ce...

I want to start eating more cereal, but I don't know if I'm Shreddie.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 5.17/10

Rating: 5.2/10 (6)

“Cartoons produced by...

“Cartoons produced by the Japanese government are animes of the state.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 6.56/10

Rating: 6.6/10 (9)

While giving a physical the do...

While giving a physical the doctor noticed that his patient's shins were covered with dark bruises.

"Tell me," said the doctor, "do you play hockey or soccer?"

"Neither," said the man. "My wife and I play bridge."
#joke #short #doctor #sport #hockey
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 5.70/10

Rating: 5.7/10 (10)

Teacher and student

Teacher: "What is the chemical formula for water?"
Student: "HIJKLMNO."
Teacher: "What are you talking about?"
Student: "Yesterday you said it's H to O!"
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Laugh Factory Network - Watch our huge library of the best stand-up comedy videos, get information on our stand-up comedians, read our joke of the day
  • Currently 7.53/10

Rating: 7.5/10 (36)

What is sure to ruin a hot-dog...

What is sure to ruin a hot-dog flavoured prophylactic? Condom ants.
#joke #short #animal #dog #ant
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 3.60/10

Rating: 3.6/10 (5)

Redneck Divorce

Q: What do a tornado and a redneck divorce have in common?

A: In the end, someone is going to lose a trailer.

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 4.33/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (6)

Ecumenical Greenbacks

My home church welcomes all denominations, but really prefers tens and twenties.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
  • Currently 5.71/10

Rating: 5.7/10 (7)

Take public transit? Hellz yea...

Take public transit? Hellz yeah, that's how I bus to move.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 3.00/10

Rating: 3.0/10 (6)

Banging

My bloody rude neighbour came over banging on the door at 2.00am last night.

.........Luckily I was still up playing my drums!!
Hat Tip > Roland

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Originally taken from site that work no more - Get Frank - NZ's Online Men's Lifestyle Magazine for Fashion, Health, Lifestyle, Recreation Articles & Reviews, Funny jokes and photos updated daily
  • Currently 7.36/10

Rating: 7.4/10 (11)

Women with duck

Women goes into a bar with a duck under her arm.

Bartenders says "what'll the pig have."

The woman says, "that's not a pig, that's a duck!".

I know says the bartender, "I was talking to the duck."

#joke #short #animal #pig
Joke | Source: Jokes of the day - Taken from Bartender's guide to Jokes, Drinks, and Poker - once good site, no longer active.
  • Currently 5.50/10

Rating: 5.5/10 (6)

There is no smoking in my mens...

There is no smoking in my menswear store. Clothes, but no cigar.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 5.33/10

Rating: 5.3/10 (3)

Is It?

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to commit suicide, is that considered a hostage crisis?
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Florida Dude - Welcome To The Beach - new jokes every day
  • Currently 7.50/10

Rating: 7.5/10 (2)

“The hairless goat wi...

“The hairless goat wished that it had mohair.”

#joke #short #animal #goat
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 2.75/10

Rating: 2.8/10 (8)

Wife: "Our new neighbor always...

Wife: "Our new neighbor always kisses his wife when he leaves for work. Why don't you do that?"
Husband: "How can I? I don't even know her."
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Laugh Factory Network - Watch our huge library of the best stand-up comedy videos, get information on our stand-up comedians, read our joke of the day
  • Currently 5.86/10

Rating: 5.9/10 (7)

Lawyer and Vulture

What''s the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?
Wings.

Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 6.00/10

Rating: 6.0/10 (7)

What Is This?


When the waitress in a New York City restaurant brought him the soup du jour, the Englishman was a bit dismayed. "Good heavens," he said, "what is this?"
"Why, it's bean soup," she replied.
"I don't care what it has been," he sputtered. "What is it now?"

#joke #short #food #soup
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 6.00/10

Rating: 6.0/10 (2)

Lawyer vs. Vulture

Q: What is the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

A: Wings.

Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 5.60/10

Rating: 5.6/10 (5)

Better Than Botox?

Q. What's the name of a face lotion developed for Jewish women?
A. Oil of Oy Vey
- Joke shared by Beliefnet member BeliefnetSabee
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
  • Currently 6.43/10

Rating: 6.4/10 (7)

Waiting to get on a plane make...

Waiting to get on a plane makes me boarder line crazy.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 4.67/10

Rating: 4.7/10 (6)

Success

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you!
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Florida Dude - Welcome To The Beach - new jokes every day
  • Currently 3.67/10

Rating: 3.7/10 (3)

“The divers had to be...

“The divers had to be careful, the octopus was heavily armed.”

#joke #short #animal #octopus
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 6.42/10

Rating: 6.4/10 (12)

Yo momma is so fat she uses a ...

Yo momma is so fat she uses a pillow for a tampon.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Laugh Factory Network - Watch our huge library of the best stand-up comedy videos, get information on our stand-up comedians, read our joke of the day
  • Currently 5.50/10

Rating: 5.5/10 (4)

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