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Short jokes - funny one liners (9001 to 9040)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 9001 to 9040. |
Time Flies
Q: Why did the kid throw the clock out the window?
A: He wanted to see time fly.
Dumb Women
Man says to God: "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?"God says: "So you would love her."
"But God," the man says, "Why did you make her so dumb?"
God says: "So she would love you!"
Just Like Mama Used To Make
Why did the Italian boy want to grow a mustache?
So he could look like his mama.
“The roulette dealer ...
“The roulette dealer had a unique personality. He had a different spin on everything.”
Rollin Down
The better part of you must have rolled down your daddy's leg.Short funny jokes-Real sign of getting old!
Wrinkled skin? No.
Thick eyeglasses? No.
Hair loss? No.
The real sign is - When you begin to love your own wife.
“When the spammer's c...
“When the spammer's computer exploded, it blew him to kingdom.com.”
Change of Pace
An old couple prepares to go to sleep. The man gets in bed, but the woman lies down on the floor.
The old man asks, "Why are you on the floor?"
The old woman says, "Because I want to feel something hard for a change."
“He thinks octopi are...
“He thinks octopi are creepy, and he makes no bones about it.”
During a robbery, one of the r...
During a robbery, one of the robbers mask slid down.He looked at a man and asked. Did you see my face?
The man said yes! The robber shot him.
Then he asked a woman. Did you see my face?
She said no, but my husband over there did.
“I have invented croc...
“I have invented crockery that comes to me when I whistle. My cup runneth over.”
Toilet Paper
Whats dumb? Instructions on toilet paper.Whats dumber than that? reading them.
Whats even dumber? Reading them and learning something.
Dumbest of all? Reading them and having to correct something
you've been doing wrong.
Very funny jokes-Habits
The bride instead of getting upset, said brightly, "I knew it! When our horoscopes matched, I was sure our habits would also match!!"
Zen question-Forest officers
Where do forest officers go to "get away from it all"?
The other day I held...
“The other day I held the door open for a clown. I thought it was a nice jester.”
Lonely Bones
Q: Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance?
A: Because it had no body to go with.
Hand Me Downs
Q: What do you say to a man with five penises?
A: Your jeans fit like a glove.
“Popeye had just fini...
“Popeye had just finished plucking a goose when a gust of wind scattered all of the feathers. He said, 'Well, blow me down.'”
U-turn
A farmer goes for his driving test. During the test the instructor says to the farmer, "Can you make a U - turn?"The farmer replies. "No, but I can make its eyes water."
Submitted by calamjo
Edited by Curtis
Blind date...
How was your blind date?" a college student asked her roommate.
"Terrible!" the room-mate answered. "He showed up in his 1932 Rolls Royce."
"Wow! That's a very expensive car. What's so bad about that?"
"He was the original owner."
Short funny jokes-Women's lives
Reason: Women don't have wives!
“I thought Santa was ...
“I thought Santa was going to be late, but he arrived in the Nick of time.”
Clean Joke, Dirty Joke
You wanna hear a dirty joke? A boy fell in a mud puddle.
You wanna hear a clean one? He took a bath!
