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Short jokes - funny one liners (8961 to 9000)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 8961 to 9000. |
Why did the belt get locked up...
Why did the belt get locked up?He held up a pair of pants!
“This year I made my ...
“This year I made my Christmas wreath out of Franklin Fir branches. I really like a wreath of Franklin.”
“We're expecting fall...
“We're expecting fallout from the recent layoffs at the nuclear plant.”
Lesbian bar
How can you spot a tough lesbian bar?The pool tables don't have balls.
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Yisman
“I simply must find a...
“I simply must find a new podiatrist. My podiatrist has developed such a callus attitude.”
Did you hear about the farmer ...
Did you hear about the farmer who wanted to buy a thousand hens, but didn't have the money...so...He put them on a layaway plan!“Why do people study ...
“Why do people study gravity? It's a pretty attractive field.”
“People who listen to...
“People who listen to long political speeches are bulldozers.”
Jason Kuller: Penal Enlargement
I was actually thinking about getting penal enlargement surgery -- thought I'd share that with everybody. But the surgery is dangerous, and it's really expensive. But I found this great, safe alternative to penal enlargement surgery: the metric system.
Adult jokes-Focus
Anna and Elsa are two Swedish maids who go to the market to get their photograph taken.
Anna asks Elsa, "Why is this guy looking at us in a strange way?"
Elsa said, "He needs to focus."
"Really?" says Anna, "but you tell him he should take the photograph first."
“What is it called wh...
“What is it called when Legolas takes his own picture? An elfie.”
“Yesterday I was on t...
“Yesterday I was on the computer, I couldn't find the Esc and I lost Ctrl.”
Bar... Duckman
A man walks into a bar with a duck on his head. The bartender says, "May I help you, sir?"
The duck says, "Yeah. Help me get this human out of my ass."
Profiting from Mistakes
"Is it proper for a man to profit from the mistakes of another?" a parishioner asked his minister.
"Definitely not," was the preacher's answer.
"Are you absolutely certain?"
"Yes, my son, absolutely."
"Okay. In that case, I wonder if you'd mind returning that $25 I gave you after my wedding last year?"
Womens breasts
What do toys and womens breasts have in common?They were both originally made for kids, but dad ends up playing with
Big boy
"Look at the size of his thing, he sure is BIG!" said Adam.
Dana said to him in a consoling voice,"Yes sweetheart, but he does have your eyes."
No Cavities
One fine afternoon, a smiling boy arrived home from a dental visit. He called out,"Hey mom, I have no cavities today."
His mom stared at him wide-eyed and quite surprised. But she smiled and then frowned, knowing the expected. "Let me guess," she said. "You have not a tooth left."
When the Aztec warri...
“When the Aztec warrior was about to be punished severely, he was so sad he was disheartened.”
“Yesterday my fridge ...
“Yesterday my fridge thought it was a microwave, so we got into a heated fight. But we're cool now.”
Supermarket
The man approached a very beautiful woman in a large supermarket and asked, "You know, I've lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?""Why?" she asks.
"Because every time I talk to a a beautiful woman, my wife appears out of nowhere."
Job application...
A man went to apply for a job. After filling out all of his applications, he waited anxiously for the outcome.
The employer read all his applications and said, "We have an opening for people like you."
"Oh, great," he said, "What is it?"
"It's called the door!"
“Luridly sailing by t...
“Luridly sailing by the clock on a sea of mucus is a phlegmbuoyant pastime.”
Hipster Booty Call... Judgment
Can I come over and judge you by the books on your shelf?
Overgrown boy
How do you define Marriage?
It's an eyewash involving the adoption of an overgrown boy whose parents can't handle him anymore!
