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Short jokes - funny one liners (1001 to 1040)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 1001 to 1040. |
Cave People
Why was school so much easier for cave people?
Because they had no history to study!
Drooling is my new religion. I
Drooling is my new religion. It's the only path to salivation.If you laid out all the painki
If you laid out all the painkillers in one big field, it would take up many achers of space.Totally Worn Out
Why is it that everyone is so worn out on April 01?
They have just endured a March of 31 days!
Bored With Retirement
I was not ready for retirement and was looking for a new adventure.
So I decided to take up FENCING.
My neighbors have threatened to call the police if I don't put it back.
It must be hard being colour-b
It must be hard being colour-blind. It's a purples-less existence.You got promoted from captain
You got promoted from captain to a higher rank? I bet that major day!People who look at their butt
People who look at their butt in the mirror and see a wild boar may be suffering from an eye condition known as asspigmatism.Twin Sisters
The twin girls walk into a store. After selecting a few items they go to the cashier.
The cashier looks at them and says, "Are you two girls sisters?"
The twins both laugh and then one says, "Sisters? We aren't even religious."
Russian dictators are the best
Russian dictators are the best. They're the crème de la Kremlin.
Alphonse: goo
Alphonse: good name for a typesetter.The punster who crossed all bo
The punster who crossed all boundaries of decency and good taste was known as a comickaze.Grandpa's 1968 Corvette
Grandpa: They say a man’s car is a reflection of himself.
Granddaughter: I see what you mean Grandpa; sometimes your car doesn’t want to start in the morning, and when it does start it sputters and back fires before it gets going.
Grandpa: Hey…
Did you hear the pun about the
Did you hear the pun about the crotch?The tiniest scientists have us
The tiniest scientists have usually been astro gnomers.Heavenly Returns
What do you call a priest who returns stuff to the store?
Holy redeemer.
I'm being set up with th
I'm being set up with this girl who really loves the metric system. I can't wait to metre!I don't know if I like H
I don't know if I like HD technology – I find it a bit too Bluray.Who's To Blame
The recent volcano eruptions in Kilauea and Volcan de Fuego prompted representatives all over the globe to have an Earthquake Summit.
When San Adreas arrived everyone point fingers and said, "It's your fault!"
I met a
I met a hobo on the street who was quite contemplative. It must have been the mulled wino.Japanese goldfish act so Japanese goldfish act so koi.
A guy was standing glumly at t
A guy was standing glumly at the bar."What's up?" asked his friend.
"My wife suggested we should play some sex games to spice up our love lives."
"Yeah, what's wrong with that?"
"Well, unfortunately 'Guess who I shagged last night?' didn't go down too well."
Answering Service
"Your call is very important to us...
... Please enjoy this 40-minute flute solo."
Whenever I see a broken elevat
Whenever I see a broken elevator I tend to stair.The Darn Bug
Boy: "This darn bug is bothering the heck out of me! Where’s that can of spray insecticide... Oh, here it is. GOTCHA! Oh wow, I never knew bugs had so much blood in them."
Girl: "You idiot, you used the can of red spray paint!"
