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Short jokes - funny one liners (961 to 1000)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 961 to 1000. |
Start With A Joke
The boss asked Mark to start the presentation with a joke.
He shared his paycheck as the first slide.
#joke #short
Pamela: I've seen your face s
Pamela: I've seen your face somewhere before.Ron: How odd.
Pamela: Yes, it certainly is.
#joke #short
Crime of Silence
A friend of mine got kidnapped by a group of mimes...
They did unspeakable things to him!
#joke #short
Everyone seems to be moving to
Everyone seems to be moving to the Middle East. It's a case of the Bahrain drain.#joke #short
King Solomon's Menagerie
A Sunday school teacher asked little Susie, "Who's your favorite person in the Bible?"Susie said, "King Solomon.""Can you tell us why?""Because he was so nice to ladies and to animals.""What do you mean?""He had six hundred wives and three hundred porcupines."-I believe that, despite its na
I believe that, despite its name, ‘Crazy Glue' should be taken seriously. But then again – I'm an epoxy moron.#joke #short
Grocery Shopping Danger
Last week at the grocery store, I saw a man slipping celery into other people's shopping carts...
I believe he was a stalker.
#joke #short
What the maestro said when the
What the maestro said when the orchestra player sneezed: “Bassoonteit!”#joke #short
Holy Water
Why isn't holy water used in vaccines?
Because you can't take the lord's name in vein.
#joke #short
Millennials
I’m so tired of Millennials and their attitudes….
Always walking around like they rent the place.
#joke #short
Jesus Walks Into a Hotel
Jesus walks into a hotel, slaps three nails down on the counter, and says, “Can you put me up for the night?”-#joke #short
The bankrupt birdkeeper ended
The bankrupt birdkeeper ended up in hawk.#joke #short
The hardest working torturers
The hardest working torturers take advantage of frequent flayer points.#joke #short
Shining Happy People
Shining Happy People
#joke #short
The Iri
The Irishman was visited by a ghost while making moonshine. “I can't sleep at night,” the man said, “it haunts me still.”#joke #short
A man of eighty-one yells with
A man of eighty-one yells with joy as the nurse comes in and tells him that his twenty-year-old bride just gave birth to a baby. The man muses, "I wonder if I could do it again."Another expectant father answers, "What makes you think you did it the first time?"
Do Asian cannibals eat a lot o
Do Asian cannibals eat a lot of raw-men noodles?#joke #short
Mr. T is getting incontinent i
Mr. T is getting incontinent in his old age. He was recently heard to boast, “I shitty the pool.“#joke #short
Release Date Issues
Why did Star Wars episodes 4, 5, and 6 come out before 1, 2, and 3?
In charge of the release dates, Yoda was.
#joke #short
Avocado's Number: The amount of particles in a guaco mole.
Christmas tree search
There were two blondes who went deep into the frozen woods searching for a Christmas tree.After hours of subzero temperatures and a few close calls with hungry wolves, one blonde turned to the other and said, "I'm chopping down the next tree I see. I don't care whether it's decorated or not!"
The king who was usurped by a
The king who was usurped by a werewolf was definitely throne for a lupus.#joke #short
Spraypaint on a wall goes agai
Spraypaint on a wall goes against my mural code.#joke #short
Anyone in the field of organ d
Anyone in the field of organ donation measurement has a lung weigh to go.#joke #short
A farmer, who went to a big ci
A farmer, who went to a big city to see the sights, asked the hotel's clerk about the time of meals."Breakfast is served from 7 to 11, dinner from 12 to 3, and supper from 6 to 8," explained the clerk.
"Look here," inquired the farmer in surprise, "when am I going to get time to see the city?"
Shoulda taken the elevader?
Shoulda taken the elevader?
#joke #short
#joke #short
Oh Those Greek Gods
Question: What's the name of the Greek god of humor?
Answer: Hilarios.
#joke #short
What should you give a ghost f
What should you give a ghost for Christmas?#joke #short #christmas
Which rock star enjoys his mor
Which rock star enjoys his morning ritual with a newspaper? Lou Reed.#joke #short
A Writer's Plight
An author wrote a novel and sent it off to a publisher. The publisher held on to the hard copy so long, that termites got into it.
In the final analysis, the book was rejected. The story line had too many holes in it.
#joke #short
Santa puns really slei
Santa puns really sleigh me.#joke #short
Punning in Japanese requires l
Punning in Japanese requires lifelong dedication. It helps to have a good sensei humour.#joke #short
