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Short jokes - funny one liners (1081 to 1120)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 1081 to 1120. |
Teepees threaten to proliferat
Teepees threaten to proliferate, in this age of global wamming.Two Guitarists
What's the difference between a rock guitarist and a jazz guitarist?
A rock guitarist plays 4 notes in front of 1000 people, while a jazz guitarist plays 1000 notes in front of 4 people.
Imams don't like it when
Imams don't like it when people lose a lot of weight. I knew one who even issued fatwas.Winning the Lottery
Interviewer: "Congratulations on winning the lottery."
Farmer: "Thank you."
Interviewer: "Do you have any special plans for spending all of that money?"
Farmer: "Nope. Not really. I'm just gonna keep farming until the lottery money is all gone."
I saw a live witchcraft perfor
I saw a live witchcraft performance last night. They had me spellbound. Those ladies did a hex of a job.You can find the craziest shit
You can find the craziest shit when you do a Poogle search.Ticket Trouble
A minister was pulled over for speeding. As the cop was about to write the ticket, the minister said to him, “Blessed are the merciful for they shall obtain mercy.”The cop handed the minister the ticket and said, “Go thou and sin no more.”Predicting the wind is a ro
Predicting the wind is a vane pursuit.Infernal Revenue Service
The IRS is out of control...
Now that I'm older, they've even taxed my memory!
Want a relaxing job? Try ro
Want a relaxing job? Try calm posting.Three Questions
The cop asked, "Whose car is this? Where are you headed? What do you do?"
The miner replied, "Mine."
Did you hear that God is being
Did you hear that God is being sued for not allowing sinners into Heaven? The plaintiffs allege grace-based discrimination.When th
When the glacier was asked for an opinion on global warming, it replied “I dunno, I've never really thawed about it.”French streets are tricky. The
French streets are tricky. There is always some rues.Puns about toilet training are
Puns about toilet training are really scraping the bottom. Don't ask wipe, we just poopoo them.Debtors tend to be quite ro
Debtors tend to be quite shall-owe people.My financial advisor warned me
My financial advisor warned me about Varsol. He said if I went near it I'd end up in solvent.Allahphants a
Allahphants are God's creatures.A traffic police constable sto
A traffic police constable stopped a motor bike: "Idiots, stop. You four are riding on a single bike. Don't you know it is a serious offence?"Youngsters: "Four? Good grief, where is the fifth?"
What's Coming Up
An aging comedian is a guest on a late night talk show.
"What do you have coming up?" the interviewer asks him.
"Mostly phlegm."
Arnold Schwarzenegger Impressions
My wife kicked me out because of my awful Arnold Schwarzenegger impressions.
But don’t worry...
I’ll return!
USA and USB
What’s the difference between USA and USB?
One connects to your devices and accesses all of your data.
The other is a hardware standard.
Discount Grocery Store
My niece, Sue, plans to open a discount grocery store where everything expires in a week...
She's going to call it Best By...
Why did the Italian dictator a
Why did the Italian dictator attack his son's babysitter and take her wallet?Usually when you hear about No
Usually when you hear about Norway it's Oslo news day.You can tell if someone burned
You can tell if someone burned down their house for insurance reasons, if the smoke is bill owing.We come Beringrong
We come Bering good tidings: This year we pledge to insult Alaskans. It's our New Year's razz Aleutian.The Earth IS Flat
Despite what some people think, since the world is arguably 75% water that is not carbonated,...
One could accurately say that it's technically flat.
