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Short jokes - funny one liners (1241 to 1280)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 1241 to 1280. |
We've all heard about tr
We've all heard about trans fats, but what about tranny fats? Do they come from androgynated vegetable oil?Hear about the cannibal who mi
Hear about the cannibal who mistakenly ate the leper?High Achievers
My wife beamed at me with pride and said, “Wow! I never thought our son would go that far!“
I said, “This catapult is amazing! Go get our daughter.”
Celebrity rumours: Yo-
Celebrity rumours: Yo-Yo Maw eats toys.Parenting Toddlers
A friend asked what parenting toddlers is like.
So I hid her keys, headbutted her in the face, and then told her I love her more than the stars.
Who has big breasts? My friend
Who has big breasts? My friend, Melanie.Gloomy countries like England
Gloomy countries like England and Scotland have population problems: they're overclouded.Annoyance
A co-worker asked me, “Could you be any more annoying?”
So the next day I wore tap shoes to work.
When Rob Ford came back it was
When Rob Ford came back it was like ‘Release the Crackin!‘This is very disturbing and sc
This is very disturbing and scandalous! I can't believe the US is launching a trade whore with China.Archaeologists say they’ve discovered the toilet used by Jesus. Which is a loo de Christ claim. #joke #short
How did the Virgin Mary deliver?
How did the Virgin Mary deliver her baby?Emmanuel labour.
Don’t mock Jesus. He is derision Lord. #joke #short
I thought I could figure out
I thought I could figure out the Rubik's puzzle in under a minute.What cubris!
Old Memories
I went by the house I grew up in and asked if I could go in and look around.
They said no and slammed the door in my face!
Parents can be real jerks.
The cra
The crazy man who boasted about his second penis must have had delusions of glandeur.Down payment to buy an apartme
Down payment to buy an apartment, aka a condominimum.Celebrating the Holidays
What do you say to your single friends on Valentine’s Day?
Happy Independence Day!
Do sail
Do sailors have to take courses in anchor management?Family Matters
It seems I have spent a lifetime of mouthing mechanically, “Say thank you... Sit up straight... Use your napkin... Close your mouth when you chew... Don’t lean back in your chair...”
Just when I finally got my husband squared away, the kids came along.
Crime Doesn't Pay
What did one bank robber say to her partner when she managed to get them caught?
"Who ever said that crime doesn't pay must have worked with you!"
My socialist friend thinks tha
My socialist friend thinks that hiring non-union labour to build a partition is indie fence-able.Accusing me of silencing the w
Accusing me of silencing the wolves would be a bays less accusation.When should you lick an incand
When should you lick an incandescent bulb?When the filament's made of tongue-sten.
A disturbing trend is a freak
A disturbing trend is a freak au courants.Microsoft knows that programmi
Microsoft knows that programming crappy software requires many shitterations.The Ear of My Boss
At work I've got the ear of my boss...
I'm still not convinced we should pay the ransom.
Defining Moments
What does "The Devil is in the details" mean?
It means the government just passed the budget.
If the economy is moving, why
If the economy is moving, why do we have to budget?Paul Reiser w
Paul Reiser wakes up every morning in a fog.Incapable of Multitasking
My wife told me I was incapable of multitasking.
So I got drunk and embarrassed her at the same time.
