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Short jokes - funny one liners (1281 to 1320)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 1281 to 1320. |
Yelling "What"
Do you enjoy yelling "What?" from the other room?
Then marriage might be for you.
Learning My Lesson
I definitely learned my lesson about speeding today and it will never happen again.
I didn't get pulled over or anything...
I just showed up to work 20 minutes early.
If you want to liberate an isl
If you want to liberate an island, dial atoll-free number.A blonde was playing Trivial P...
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn, she rolled the dice and landed on "Science & Nature".
Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?"
She thought for a time, and then asked, "Is it on or off?"
Make Yourself At Home
I visited my new friend in his apartment.
He told me to make myself at home.
So I threw him out, I hate visitors.
Does Atlantis exist? No, that
Does Atlantis exist? No, that is a false city.People say smog is a city prob
People say smog is a city problem, but that's not true. Like when I drive to the farm – all I see is hays.I'm getting too many sou
I'm getting too many sources of Omega-3 fatty acids. I might have the flax-seeding disease.Every time I scrape myself, I
Every time I scrape myself, I have a big cell abrasion.The Icelandic parliament is in
The Icelandic parliament is in recess. Althings must come to an end.
Which rocker is famous for his
Which rocker is famous for his sugary ballads? Bon-bon JoviIf you're bald, you shou
If you're bald, you shouldn't borrow somebody else's wig. That would be tresspassing.My toddler loves technology. W
My toddler loves technology. When he eats, he uses instant messing.Somebody groped me. But no har
Somebody groped me. But no hard feelings.See @pungents #CanadianActionMovies on Twitter. #joke #short
Shakespeare's play about
Shakespeare's play about surprisingly fragrant flatulence, aka All Smells that End Well.Green vegetables make me fart.
Green vegetables make me fart. We're talkin' kale force winds.NED: Please show me your belly
NED: Please show me your belly button.ED: Huh?
NED: It's a matter of national security. Please, show me your belly button!
ED: What are you talking about. Go away!
NED: I'm collecting navel intelligence!!
Mr. T has no patience for bead
Mr. T has no patience for beady-eyed French lunatics. As he says himself, “Oeil petit des foux”Prepare For the Worst
My wife has been missing a week now.
The police said to prepare for the worst.
So, I had to go down to Goodwill to get all of her clothes back.
Who was the most indecisive di
Who was the most indecisive dinosaur?Lost credit card
A man says to his friend: "My wife's credit card got stolen last week."
"That's a shame," says the friend: "have you told the police?"
"No way," says the man: "the thief is spending less than she did!"
Do incarcerated clowns get
Do incarcerated clowns get con-juggle visits?They Talk More
Research shows that men, on average, speak about 10,000 words per day, and women speak about 40,000.
What the research doesn’t tell you is that it’s not that women are actually saying four times as much, they just have to repeat everything that many times because men don’t listen.
Which branch of science is ded
Which branch of science is dedicated to launching little people into space?Back to Back
Last night, my wife and I watched two movies back to back.
Fortunately for me, I was the one who was facing the television.
A Wish Gone Wrong
A genie granted me one wish, so I said, "I just want to be happy."
Now I'm living in a cottage with 6 dwarves and working in a mine.
How do proctologists figure ou
How do proctologists figure out how much to bill their clients?What do bad Eskimos get in the
What do bad Eskimos get in their stockings for Xmas?Flight To Australia
Why did Novak Djokovic pay for his flight to Australia with a Mastercard?
Because his Visa didn’t work.
We all get stung, after the st
We all get stung, after the stock market has piqued.The Same Mistake
I never make the same mistake twice.
I do it like, five or six times, you know, to make sure.
