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Short jokes - funny one liners (1281 to 1320)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 1281 to 1320. |
I tried to take the wrinkles o
I tried to take the wrinkles out of my Fool's-Gold pastry. But I can't iron pie right.Customer: I have problems prin
Customer: I have problems printing in red...Helpdesk: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah... thank you.
He Ordered A Double
What happened when a man ordered a double?
The barman brought out someone that looked just like him.
All political speechwriters sh
All political speechwriters should be sentenced to death by electoral-elocution.NED: Remember that goodlooking
NED: Remember that goodlooking amputee from last night?ED: Yeah – she really cauterize!
It's Expensive
Think the price of gas is expensive?
Have you seen the price of chimneys?
They are going through the roof!
Why do those with big noses li
Why do those with big noses like making out with their supervisors?Scandinavians live at the edge
Scandinavians live at the edge of the Earth, ie Fin land.We will do any kind of scatolo
We will do any kind of scatological joke, except if it's ass poonerism.I can guarantee you won'
I can guarantee you won't feel any pain, in “no one's hurtin” terms.The weather in Nunavut? I̵
The weather in Nunavut? I'gloomy. ‘S'no walk in the park. But at least I ‘ski'mo than I used to.A policeman caught a nasty lit
A policeman caught a nasty little boy with a BB gun in one hand and a chipmunk in the other."Now listen here," the policeman said, "Whatever you do to that poor, defenseless creature I shall personally do to you."
"In that case," said the boy. "I'll kiss it's butt and let it go."
Seconds Count
What's the difference between Big Ben and Tic Tok?
One tells time, the other wastes time.
What I Know About Galileo
My daughter was doing her homework and asked me what I knew about Galileo.
I, proudly and confidently, told her that he was just a poor boy from a poor family.
I got a legal separation. Let&
I got a legal separation. Let's have apart-y!As a punster, I took a break f
As a punster, I took a break from self loathing. That's why I've been on I hate us.ESL students enjoy the Baroque
ESL students enjoy the Baroque melodies of TOEFLmusik.The Last Quarter
The economy is terrible. At the beginning of the year, the politicians promised things would improve by the last quarter...
Well, I'm down to my last quarter and they haven't improved!
Our favourite movie? L
Our favourite movie? Lethal Web Pun.Wanna hear a cereal pun? IR
Wanna hear a cereal pun? I'm not sure you're Shreddie for it.Replenishing one's stock
Replenishing one's stock of mints can be a mo' mentos occasion.Check My Balance
I'm not saying that the customer service in my bank is bad...
But when I went in the other day and asked the clerk to check my balance . . . .
She leaned over and pushed me!
Holmes and Watson went to a ve
Holmes and Watson went to a vegan restaurant that served only tree dishes. Watson asked Holmes how he would order. Sherlock replied “Elm entree, my dear.”Do airport workers have to tak
Do airport workers have to take hangar management courses?Male Baldness
If a man is bald in front, he's a thinker...
If he's bald in the back, he is a lover...
If he's bald in the front and back, he thinks he's a lover.
