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Short jokes - funny one liners (1321 to 1360)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 1321 to 1360. |
I woke up the other morning an
I woke up the other morning and there was a new fridge in my kitchen. It was like Amana from heaven.Watching Calories
Nutritionist: You should eat 1200 calories a day.
Me: OK, and how many at night?
Confident and confidential
Son - "Dad whats the difference between confident and confidential?"
Dad - "Hmm. You are my son. Of that I am confident. Your friend Timmy is also my son. That's confidential."
Competitive Salary
ME: What does "competitive salary" mean?
BOSS: It means your salary will be competing with your bills.
The old folks home was very se
The old folks home was very secure. Each door was guarded by a century.If a concrete curb is cool to
If a concrete curb is cool to sit on, it's because it's a butt mint.Game Plan
Losing weight doesn't seem to be working for me,...
So from now I'm going to concentrate on getting taller!
Invest in puns, corny<
Invest in puns, corny puns! The stalk mock-it has never been higher.Have you heard about the new m
Have you heard about the new mint-flavored birth control pill for women that they take immediately before sex?They're called "Predickamints".
The Mime Next Door
I got angry with the mime that lived next door to me.
To get even I played a blank CD over and over.
That drove him crazy.
The Paleozoic era was even mor
The Paleozoic era was even more computerized than today. Instead of kilobytes, they had trilobites.How do you track rodent popula
How do you track rodent populations? With a MySQuirreL database.Are bulimics all bile
Are bulimics all bile lingual?The Toughest School
My friends from New York talk about how tough their schools were. I’m not impressed. I'm from Texas.
My school had it’s own coroner.
We used to write essays like: “What I want to be IF I grow up...”
The Italian fascist dictator w
The Italian fascist dictator was a trivia expert: Benito Miscellany.Some things may be temporarily
Some things may be temporarily broken. Please stand by!The Dishes
My wife asked me why I was doing the dishes while sitting down.
Told her it's because I can't stand doing it.
People who dislike comedy club
People who dislike comedy clubs suffer from skits-refrainia.Favourite spice among Chinese
Favourite spice among Chinese cannibals: SinomanMany people from the UK have p
Many people from the UK have pale skin. They're like bleached Wales.I was actually thinking about
I was actually thinking about getting penal enlargement surgery -- thought I'd share that with everybody. But the surgery is dangerous, and it's really expensive.But I found this great, safe alternative to penal enlargement surgery: the metric system.
When North American aboriginal
When North American aboriginal cannibals had a successful hunt they would thank the Cree ater.When Bart kicked Homer in the
When Bart kicked Homer in the crotch, he felt like a baker. He kneed the D'oh!Do overprivileged children go
Do overprivileged children go online for their social networthing?If I'm Counting Right
If I'm counting right...
It's been ‘one of those days' for three years now.
NED: Being a cremator is a luc
NED: Being a cremator is a lucrative business.ED: How's that?
NED: You urn a lot!
I got a bad haircut in Stockho
I got a bad haircut in Stockholm. Now I'm parting in such Swede sorrow.Which Harry Potter character d
Which Harry Potter character divorced his wife? Hag rid.How Old?
When a new child visited our Sunday school, the teacher greeted him and asked his age. The little boy held up four fingers.
"Oh, you're four," said the teacher. "And when will you be 5?"
The child stared at her and after a few seconds replied, "When I hold up the other finger."
